I Have Bad Conversation Skills

[CuteCornDog]

I come up with bad ideas for conversation all the time, and most people are unaware of it, or they don't believe me.

I don't know what to do.

I'm sick of being stressed out all the time.

I have no one I can depend on.

Everyone just goes on about their day instead of making a difference.

Edited July 24, 2017 by CuteCornDog

[poimandres]

You want better conversational skills? What about going out and talking to random people?

[CuteCornDog]

7 minutes ago, poimandres said:

You want better conversational skills? What about going out and talking to random people?

Being desperate.

Thanks for the reply though.

Especially tonight when I posted this thread.

My profile on here says I trolled people on here one day when I didn't. The entire forum ganged up on me, and the way I replied to it was really really personal.

It sickens me when people with bad conversation skills experience misunderstandings like that.

Edited July 24, 2017 by CuteCornDog

[poimandres]

3 minutes ago, CuteCornDog said:

Being desperate.

Thanks for the reply though.

Especially tonight when I posted this thread.

No problem! Just takes some practice. If you are 21+, go to a chill bar at a restaurant (not a club) and sit and chat with the bar tender. Wait until people come and go, you WILL be able to talk to people. It's the bar tender's job to keep everyone drinking and having high spirits. So, they will keep a conversation going. 

[pluto]

Reading, Writing and Meditation has helped me significantly in this subject.

[CuteCornDog]

I don't get meditation, but I get skating, and planning on starting.

I don't know how to break the news to people without them over reacting.

I wish they'd stay out of other people's business, and stop projecting.

Mainly my mother.

Brother too.

Father as well.

Entire family is crazy.

 

THEY SERIOUSLY MAKE ME THAT UNCOMFORTABLE DOING ANYTHING.

PEOPLE WHO DEFEND THEMSELVES ARE LOSERS TOO.

Edited July 24, 2017 by CuteCornDog

[Space]

@CuteCornDog A lot of what you think are ingrained traits will actually just be limiting beliefs. Atleast that's what i've found from personal experience. In the case of being bad at conversing with people it's likely that you're really not as bad as you think. Often we'll have a few bad experiences early on in our lives and these will snowball into fully formed beliefs about who we are. The early experiences create the limiting belief, which then makes that particular behaviour more likely to happen, which then that reinforces the belief, etc etc. So be aware of this, and really think about whether this trait of 'I have bad conversation skills' is really true all the time. Do you have bad conversation skills with your parents? Or your best mates? Probably not.

I do get where you coming from though. I have had a similar issue to what you're describing in the past, and i'm still working on it to some degree. Firstly as I said before, you've gotta' realise that you're probably not as bad as you think, so just relax! Secondly, people really don't give a shit, and if they do they probably just think you're a little shy. Nothing wrong with that. 

Here are some practical tips; Ask a lot of questions. Questions are easy to ask, and most people like answering them. Change your mindset to a growth mindset. Realise that you're ability to converse is something that can very easily be improved. I'm telling you, it's not a fixed thing. Just tell yourself that perfectly fine to not be that good at conversing, but with some practise you'll definitely improve. I know that my social skills are bad sometimes, but I also know that it's because i'm simply out of practise. 

Personally I find it's all about the mindset. As soon as I realised that my social skills changed over time, depending on how much socialising I do, the limiting belief dropped away. I have also found that an increase in mindfulness has helped a lot too. It's so important to be aware and mindful of your thoughts, particularly after a social situation where you think you might have said something wrong or stupid etc, like "Why did I say that?!", or "I should have said this not that!". Anyway, hope this helped!

[Thinh]

@Space When I'm with my friends, everything seems smooth but when I'm with strangers, it's like my head is empty, I don't know what to say. I don't know if this is because of my emotion or because of my skill?  

[CuteCornDog]

Justice > Peace

The way this forum treated me July 1st 2016.

Unaccceptable.