Feeling Down During Change?

[spicy_pickles]

I have been feeling very down and out for awhile. But, at the same time, I feel as though I'm "growing" (if that makes any sense at all). 

Like I've said in previous posts, I'm noticing more confidence in myself, an urge to improve myself through fitness, a desire to try new things, a need to put my happiness first. But, I feel depressed. 

This may have to do with the fact I can feel that the last six years of my life and that stage I was in is coming to an end. It is doing that because I'm growing. I'm not accepting anything less than what I deserve. I'm striving for the best. I'm speaking up. It still hurts. 

Is this a normal process?

[Visitor]

Depression basically occurs when one is predominately thinking about things that have not gone the way they wanted for themselves. It is in the past, and just a memory. We still may need to deal with the repercussions, but those are either now or future (not the past).

Things always change, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. When things come to an end for us it usually means we no longer have any need for it.

We will always remember things that have been stored in our memory. Some of those memories also contain emotions, stories of pain and suffering, and such things when recalled can be relived again. It does not mean that we have not moved on, or not changed, but simply re-experiencing a memory. 

[nahtanoj]

@Joseph Maynor what  you mind by ego-death? What is the process to get that? 

@spicy_pickles  I've been doing a lot of inner work this past six months and I can confirm that doing inner work get you depressed but I think it's normal because you are fucking with your ego. For example I started doing the 100% resposability approach in my life and it worked perfectly  for two weeks but then I got hit by my ego and the resistance was so strong that I had to take a vacation from my work. Taking 100% responsibility of everything is hard and the ego hate it. Also I started being more honest with people and myself and again it worked fine for two weeks after that a the depression arises again. Doing inner work is hard. Doing confidence work is hard. The important thing is to know that this depression is going to pass. Just keep going and if you need a break take it, go low conscious for a while but remember to come back. Also sleep, I always get a lot of sleep.  When I feeling down I sleep and it helps me. Btw watch out for burnout, try to get one thing at a time, trying a lot of stuff at the same time is more dangerous. And the failure is bigger. Remember we have limited resources. Limited time, limited mental capacity, limited will power. Hope everything gets well. 

[Bob84]

@spicy_pickles get back your vision of the future.

Im going to this ... and that.... and its going to be fucking amazing