Relationship Green flags 🌱🏁

[EdgeGod900]

On 11/10/2026 at 9:08 PM, Joshe said:

- doesn't take themselves too seriously
- a good balance of seriousness and humor
- can laugh at their own stupidity

When I'm discerning the quality of a character, I'm often most concerned with how people relate to their own self-image. Intelligence matters less to me than someone's relationship with their intelligence. 

"Can this person maintain an honest relationship with reality when reality makes them look stupid?" If they can, I really like that in a person. 

AMEN. If only you were a girl with an inoffensive face, and athletic body, I'd fuck the shit outta you.

[Joseph Maynor]

It is natural that you will resonate with some people over others.  But this is a bias on some level too.  

[oOo]

Empathy x openness to experience. 

Generally the higher the better. I'd prefer to focus on absences however, at least in the beginning.

Absence here is far easier to read, you can measure exactingly where distance may arise.

Positive signs not only leads to "fill in the blank" confirmation bias, but also overlooking extra dimensions to both.

Everything else is negotiable, but it depends on the parking fines a potential partner has and how they got there. She may be a Russian spy infiltrating a criminal syndicate fighting for a just cause. You should never underestimate what forms in the mind of someone scoring extremely high in both regards, by definition they fall outside the norm and typically score higher in other interesting areas as well. Empathy is an important caveat, as its absence even if in certain narrow areas it may seem high, predicts narcissism.

Most people tend to be particularly vulnerable to narcissistic partners and or relationships when they lead with the positive; as they become the only affirmation that makes the relationship work in principle. As someone that scores increasingly higher on narcissism, even in defence mechanisms, is never truly there in the relationship. You're there for them. I've learned that relationships need to be negational of outcomes in the beginning but securing of stability for the long term, the exact opposite of what's circulated in most of modern dating. Narcissistic traits become increasingly more difficult to vet for the more you're screening for the "good", because that's precisely what works to their benefit. 

There are so many people we "could" be with, however the could breaks what are more likely shoulds. I don't know about others, but I like compulsive gamblers to the point they're forced out of the casino by security on a nightly basis. Just totally and utterly drunk on slot machines. But the kind of gambling that's instead with creativity, empathy, openness that makes a partnership even worthwhile, and the awareness to make it whole by navigating differing life circumstances. 

Edited Thursday at 11:35 PM by oOo