To dream or not to dream

[Deadpixel]

I’m conscious that this forum is completed imaginary and none of you actually exist but nonetheless I’m here to rant to myself and get some imaginary advice.  I’m trying to discover the limits of dreaming and wondering what all I can do. So I’ve kind of been working myself through it that alright well now that I awoke a decent degree I kind of want to test what all I can dream up and engineer. Like damn I really thought I was just a loser human being living at home  with my parents but really I’m the only guy in existence?! And embarrassment is a hoax!! And now I’m suddenly feeling a bit lonely realizing there really ain’t nobody out there…  like I still write these fucking messages like there’s gonna be some other mind out there judging me, every word I write I’m imagining what another would think. But how tf can something without other even conceive of the concept of other in the first place. Like I was just about to apologize for the formatting or for being all over the place a bit and it might be hard to understand but why even lmao I’m like a damn schizophrenic solipsistic God 

 

now that I know my mind is obviously manifesting all this shit in a strange way that I don’t fully understand (like idk how to hit the right spot in my mind where 10 million dollars come out even though Im certain it should be possible)  I’m pondering where do I go forward now? I’ve been thinking about manifesting a fake relationship with one of those imaginary Popstar women I invented for the hell of it but seems kind of hard because I keep imagining I’m just some random guy and imagining social status n stuff…. I When I’m the only thing that can even get girls…. Even though they fake lmao. At the same time I question if an attachment to women is wise or not. Like yeah I can have any Barbie doll I want but it kind of makes me sad altogether to have a vision of a beautiful woman and then be ultimately met with the realization she’s a total illusion and it only acts like it loves me because I imagined it to when it’s really some weird talking fucking doll thing telling me about made up life details and then I start believing that shit and then I end up in weird manifestations where the fake ass person acts like it knows better than me and I’m dumb or naive or something!!? I can’t believe I ever felt like I was a bad person and was “less than” “others”. From a more honest perspective with myself that’s a complete load of nonsense. All those fake people saying I’m gonna go to hell if I don’t believe in Jesus and follow whatever dream rules I dreamt up. Kind of fucked up I’ve lowkey been abusing myself with otherness making myself feel paranoid n stuff when really I’m just alone imagining this shit. Some kind of weird kink I’ve got as god I guess having dream people breathe down my neck “DO It THIS WAY!!”  At the same time is kind of fucking hilarious that all this shit is fake, I’m just home alone in the void tweaking out about imaginary otherness. 
 

I find myself at somewhat of a crossroads now though, do I keep trying to go deeper aloness and not worry about my manifestation or do I try to create the best possible manifestation and invent otherness to the highest most intelligent degree🤔 I kind of want to try out all these imaginary inventions I created but I can’t afford anything🤷‍♂️ I’m the only guy who can even have a mansion and sports carts and whatever the fuck else I can pick up at the dream store but I’m playing this weird money game. And then I got the fricken dream irs and dream taxes n shi to try to make this more believable kind of a headache really.  Like I might have to do some cheat codes at this point, it should be possible for me to go to a car dealership and imagine the dream guy there saying “yup I’m fake this your dream here are the keys” but part of me is also hurt/scared when otherness breaks that much and then it gets confused and then it can’t do the manifestation in the first place. Like a big catch 22. Like I gotta reveal it’s fake just enough to keep pretending it’s not fake. 
 

I really got no idea what to do for eternity just winging it 🤷‍♂️ 

 

[Leo Gura]

To dream! Always.

[Someone here]

[Cubbage]