Asymmetry of SHOULDS and SOLUTIONS is staggering

[Lucasxp64]

Most content that has ever existed focuses disproportionally more on what we should do, how we should behave, how ideally things should be.

Rather than on actual solutions of how to get there.

That's something we should reflect I think when it comes to personal development, and this post is adding more to the "should" because I offer no solution.

Edited Thursday at 07:47 PM by Lucasxp64

[Puer Aeternus]

It is definitely difficult, and more difficult than people think! 

I have seen the tendency from others and myself to toss a should or advice at someone based on things from personal experience or even just ideas they have heard but never tested themselves.

But then you inevitably watch the should and the advice bounce right off of the other person because not only is the shoulder not properly explaining, but also because the advice may feel genuinely disconnected from this person's experience. 

A fault of the shoulder can be that they are so within their own experience DUh, this is my life experience or idea I've thought about so much it is OBVIOUS. When often, it is really not! Not to mention it is much less effort to just yeet concepts at someone rather than getting down into the trenches and trying to find a way to connect it with the other person. 

To me much of the forum feels like reading empty ideas, like that goddamn Katy Perry song where that plastic bag is floating through the breeze, lost and amiss.. a bunch of unconnected ideas just floating around. The richness that they may hold not truly explained or connected.

I wonder if more connecting and just flat out effort to understanding the other person is usually required, a lot of blind shoulding is done with very little information about someone who the should may not even be a good fit for. 

But I don't know, I just try to ask more questions to bridge the gap and maybe understand the person more! But I'm still a work in progress, still a stumbling fool. Thank you for observing this problem.

[Joshe]

It seems to me that the individual human mind is so complex that without asking a ton of questions and investing a lot of time, the best we can do in the moment is try to make sense of the other person the best we can, toss out what comes to mind and see if it works or gets traction. Our very own shoulds are claims that we later add more nuance to as we see more. 

Edited 7 hours ago by Joshe

[Rafael Thundercat]

A shoulder is a person who should themselves in their foot and watch out cause they can should you too