Help for these symptoms.

[HopePaul]

It has been 4 years since I started having these symptoms. It all began with an office job; I was already an anxious and stressed person, but with the new job, everything got worse. What I feel now is tension in my shoulders, head, and neck. I feel a lump in my throat, and in fact, it feels like I have to force myself to breathe. I sleep poorly, which makes me feel tired from the moment I wake up.

I experience this constantly; maybe at certain times of the day, like in the evening, it is less intense, but I still never feel relaxed. It is torture. I have already done various tests to see if there was a physical cause, but nothing; it seems to all stem from stress, but I no longer know how to get out of it. I have tried meditation, hypnotherapy, progressive muscle relaxation, and shamanic breathwork. For example, if I let go of my breathing, the lump in my throat intensifies and it feels like I am suffocating.

I try to be optimistic in believing that in the end I will manage to resolve everything and maybe return to my old life, perhaps even with greater awareness, but in some periods like this one, I want to die, I don't know what to do anymore, and I feel desperate.

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cGiKVWBBME

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SedzswEwpPw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeWDwLOLgJU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JG8mbtiwcSo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-h-h_RJnQXY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUz93CyNIz0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIo9FcrljDk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mM5Oks8yZc

Edited yesterday at 01:25 PM by Raze

[Someone here]

4 hours ago, HopePaul said:

and in fact, it feels like I have to force myself to breathe.

This might lead to panic attacks if not managed properly. It often results from stressful situations and a stressful lifestyle, especially when your mind remains in a constant state of  focus and mental activity. When you are repeatedly exposed to stress, this can make you overly conscious of things that normally happen automatically, including your breathing.

If you experience this even in your free time, when there is technically nothing stressful happening around you, then it can be a result of a hyperactive mind and too much energy being wasted on being “focused.” You may find yourself continuously checking whether you are breathing correctly trying to control something that your body is already capable of doing automatically.

Obviously, you understand logically that you don’t have to force yourself to breathe unless there is something clinical going on in your lungs or breathing system. Your body already knows how to breathe without your conscious involvement. This is evident when you are asleep: your body keeps breathing automatically without your conscious focus. You do not have to remind yourself to inhale or exhale while sleeping. Your breathing continues naturally because it is an automatic function of the body.

The problem can arise when you start bringing too much conscious attention to something that is normally automatic. The more attention you place on your breathing, the more noticeable every little sensation can become. You may notice the depth of each breath, the timing of each inhale and exhale, or whether your breathing “feels” normal. This can create a cycle where you become focused on breathing, that focus makes breathing feel more noticeable or unnatural, and then the unusual sensation causes you to focus on it even more.

You need to start reducing your attention on breathing and divert your attention towards outward activities. Instead of constantly checking what is happening inside your body, begin directing your attention toward what is happening around you. Start going outside more often in your free time and focus on talking with others. Small talk if you are introverted, casual conversations, meeting people, going for a walk, or simply being around other people can all help shift your attention outward.

You can also play a sport or take up a hobby that requires active participation and concentration. The goal is not to deliberately control your breathing while doing these activities. In fact, the opposite is true. Allow yourself to become absorbed in the activity itself. Focus on the game, the conversation, the environment, the hobby, the movement, or whatever else you are doing. This will force your attention outwards into the activity and less on your breathing.

As your attention becomes occupied with things outside of yourself, your breathing can gradually become less of a conscious concern. You begin to experience the fact that your body can regulate breathing on its own without you constantly supervising it. This can allow your breathing to become effortless, as it is supposed to be optimally.

 

[Judy2]

i get this lump in my throat, too, from time to time. for me, it is mostly associated with sadness, sometimes a little fear or despair.

aside from the physical symptoms and the stress/anxiety, what emotions can you register? what behavioural patterns are they linked to? what thought patterns are they linked to?

[HopePaul]

17 hours ago, Someone here said:

Se non gestito correttamente, questo può portare ad attacchi di panico. Spesso è la conseguenza di situazioni stressanti e di uno stile di vita stressante, soprattutto quando la mente rimane in un costante stato di concentrazione e attività mentale. L'esposizione ripetuta allo stress può rendere eccessivamente consapevoli di cose che normalmente avvengono automaticamente, inclusa la respirazione.

Se questo accade anche nel tempo libero, quando tecnicamente non sta succedendo nulla di stressante intorno a te, potrebbe essere il risultato di una mente iperattiva e di un eccessivo spreco di energia nel tentativo di "concentrarsi". Potresti ritrovarti a controllare continuamente se stai respirando correttamente, cercando di controllare qualcosa che il tuo corpo è già in grado di fare automaticamente.

Ovviamente, è logico capire che non è necessario sforzarsi di respirare a meno che non ci siano problemi clinici a carico dei polmoni o dell'apparato respiratorio. Il corpo sa già come respirare senza il tuo intervento cosciente. Questo è evidente quando dormi: il tuo corpo continua a respirare automaticamente senza che tu debba concentrarti su di esso. Non devi ricordarti di inspirare o espirare mentre dormi. La respirazione continua naturalmente perché è una funzione automatica del corpo.

Il problema può sorgere quando si inizia a prestare troppa attenzione cosciente a qualcosa che normalmente è automatico. Più attenzione si dedica al respiro, più ogni minima sensazione può diventare evidente. Si può notare la profondità di ogni respiro, la tempistica di ogni inspirazione ed espirazione, o se il respiro "sembra" normale. Questo può creare un circolo vizioso in cui ci si concentra sul respiro, questa concentrazione rende il respiro più evidente o innaturale, e quindi la sensazione insolita porta a concentrarsi ancora di più su di esso.

Devi iniziare a ridurre l'attenzione sul respiro e a dirottarla verso attività esterne. Invece di controllare costantemente cosa succede dentro il tuo corpo, inizia a concentrarti su ciò che accade intorno a te. Inizia a uscire più spesso nel tuo tempo libero e concentrati sul parlare con gli altri. Se sei introverso, puoi fare due chiacchiere, incontrare gente, fare una passeggiata o semplicemente stare in compagnia. Tutto ciò può aiutarti a spostare la tua attenzione verso l'esterno.

Puoi anche praticare uno sport o dedicarti a un hobby che richieda partecipazione attiva e concentrazione. L'obiettivo non è controllare deliberatamente il respiro durante queste attività. Anzi, è vero il contrario. Lasciati assorbire dall'attività stessa. Concentrati sul gioco, sulla conversazione, sull'ambiente, sull'hobby, sul movimento o su qualsiasi altra cosa tu stia facendo. Questo sposterà la tua attenzione verso l'esterno, sull'attività stessa, e meno sul respiro.

Quando la tua attenzione si concentra su cose esterne a te, la respirazione può gradualmente diventare meno una preoccupazione consapevole. Inizi a sperimentare il fatto che il tuo corpo è in grado di regolare la respirazione autonomamente, senza la tua costante supervisione. Questo può permettere alla respirazione di diventare naturale e spontanea, come dovrebbe essere in condizioni ottimali.

 

I thought so too; in fact, I have been focusing on outside activities for over a month now, but it is really exhausting. I socialize, I work, I dedicate myself to activities where I need to concentrate, but none of this gives me relief. It is definitely better than staying at home and fixating on the problem, but I don't get a moment's peace.

 

[HopePaul]

12 hours ago, Judy2 said:

Anche io, di tanto in tanto, avverto questo nodo alla gola. Per me è perlopiù associato alla tristezza, a volte anche a un po' di paura o disperazione.

Oltre ai sintomi fisici e allo stress/ansia, quali emozioni riesci a percepire? A quali schemi comportamentali sono collegate? A quali schemi di pensiero sono collegate?

The emotions I feel are anger, social pressure for not having found a job I like yet or, in any case, for not keeping up with my peers (I am 26 years old)—just a general sense of oppression. I wish I could cry, but in this state, I can't even manage to do that. I would like to add that I have also tried psychedelics, but nothing changed.

 

[Ziran]

On 8/16/2026 at 7:12 AM, HopePaul said:

It has been 4 years since I started having these symptoms. It all began with an office job; I was already an anxious and stressed person, but with the new job, everything got worse. What I feel now is tension in my shoulders, head, and neck. I feel a lump in my throat, and in fact, it feels like I have to force myself to breathe. I sleep poorly, which makes me feel tired from the moment I wake up.

I experience this constantly; maybe at certain times of the day, like in the evening, it is less intense, but I still never feel relaxed. It is torture. I have already done various tests to see if there was a physical cause, but nothing; it seems to all stem from stress, but I no longer know how to get out of it. I have tried meditation, hypnotherapy, progressive muscle relaxation, and shamanic breathwork. For example, if I let go of my breathing, the lump in my throat intensifies and it feels like I am suffocating.

I try to be optimistic in believing that in the end I will manage to resolve everything and maybe return to my old life, perhaps even with greater awareness, but in some periods like this one, I want to die, I don't know what to do anymore, and I feel desperate.

My gut response is the office job exacerbated a prior condition.  The suffocating feeling, the lump in the throat, while attempting to achieve a quiet calm meditative state:  I've felt that myself.

The office job and the optimism sound like distractors.  

Substantive relief, imo, will come when the underlying root cause of discomfort is revealed.  The work I recommend for you is to make a list of all your secrets and pay attention to how you feel while writing them out.  Then isolate the scariest secrets which you never-never want to reveal and work towards integrating and exposing those secrets in the right way to the right people.

[Ziran]

1 minute ago, Ziran said:

The suffocating feeling, the lump in the throat, while attempting to achieve a quiet calm meditative state:  I've felt that myself.

 

15 hours ago, Judy2 said:

i get this lump in my throat, too, from time to time. for me, it is mostly associated with sadness, sometimes a little fear or despair.

  ~waves from the eastern seaboard~

[Ziran]

2 hours ago, HopePaul said:

I socialize, I work, I dedicate myself to activities where I need to concentrate, but none of this gives me relief.

When was the last time you exercised, hard, to the point where your back is sweating?

[Ziran]

2 hours ago, HopePaul said:

The emotions I feel are anger, social pressure for not having found a job I like yet or, in any case, for not keeping up with my peers (I am 26 years old)—just a general sense of oppression.

Anger is born from a lack of empowerment.  Take charge of your life.  When there is a lull in your professional development use that opportunity for personal development.  Then, as one develops personally, new career opportunities will naturally arise.

A life-coach can help you put together a personal development plan and keep you accountable.  But, a coach isn't necessary.  You can do it yourself.  26 is a great age for this.  

If you need a hint:  this is heart-work.  Emotions.   For personal development, look for things which make your heart go "pitter-pat" picking up its pace, in a good way.  Then, become better than most at that thing.  You'll see that in the process of seeking and developing, new opportunities which are in harmony with your pursuits will open up for you.

[Judy2]

@HopePaul now i'm impressed with my Italian skills:) thought i'd forgotten it all by now. 

concerning the psychedelics: in my experience, a certain degree of mental stability is necessary to have a higher success rate with these substances. it's not your fault if they aren't the right fit for you atm. 

 

i can relate to this feeling of being a bit behind in life. 

concerning the "social pressure": is it really society pressuring you, though, or is the much more immediate pressure something you yourself are doing and recreating in your own head? is this pressure constant, or does it change over time? i would suppose that it is subject to change, is it not?  

 

1 hour ago, Ziran said:

 

  ~waves from the eastern seaboard~

i don't know what you are referring to? 

Edited 3 hours ago by Judy2

[Ziran]

1 hour ago, Judy2 said:

i don't know what you are referring to? 

Sorry.  I was attempting to ~virtually~ wave to you from this side of the world.    I can see that attempt ... failed. 

[Judy2]

19 minutes ago, Ziran said:

Sorry.  I was attempting to ~virtually~ wave to you from this side of the world.    I can see that attempt ... failed. 

~ , ~