How do you lock a woman in to where she isn't thinking about anyone else but you?

[LordFall]

1 minute ago, Inliytened1 said:

Well it has a long fucking shelf life in some cases.

Nah if people stick together beyond infatuation and they're not compatible that's classic codependency.

Most people men and women have not studied or practiced dating strategy and don't know how to attract high quality partners into their life and therefore are desperate and in scarcity. That fact alone explains most toxic relationships. 

[Inliytened1]

You guys are missing love here

[LordFall]

7 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

You guys are missing love here

Not at all. You seem to not have taken the time to deconstruct love and examine both what it means for you and how it's shown up in human history as a whole.

This is a good video where the anthropologist Helen Fisher talks about making love her PhD thesis and researching the difference between infatuation and alignment in a relationship.

 

Edited 1 hour ago by LordFall

[Inliytened1]

Just now, LordFall said:

Not at all. You seem to not have taken the time to deconstruct love and examine both what it means for you and how it's shown up in human history as a whole though. 

I don't have deconstruct it I know what it feels like.  And..yeah obsession and infatuation are symptoms in my opinion. I have had girls in love with me become obsessed.  But that is a byproduct 

[LordFall]

I mean bro, with the relationship history you’ve shared across this thread, you might want to sit down and introspect on what love actually means to you and where your blind spots are around it.

When someone says "I don't need to deconstruct it, I know what it feels like," on a self-actualization forum, I think that's a pretty clear hint of a shadow hiding somewhere there. Feeling the high of love or infatuation doesn't mean you understand the mechanics of how it works especially if you've had many relationships that end in volatile ways. 

[Inliytened1]

Just now, LordFall said:

I mean bro, with the relationship history you’ve shared across this thread, you might want to sit down and introspect on what love actually means to you and where your blind spots are around it.

When someone says "I don't need to deconstruct it, I know what it feels like," on a self-actualization forum, I think that's a pretty clear hint of a shadow hiding somewhere there. Feeling the high of love or infatuation doesn't mean you understand the mechanics of how it works especially if you've had many relationships that end in volatile ways. 

Is it the high of love or infatuation? We are not debating my past.  We are debating that.   Your model completely dismisses love, so it seems. We exposed that when you expressed feelings for someone while claiming multiple partners is the best way to go 

[LordFall]

Just now, Inliytened1 said:

Is it the high of love or infatuation? We are not debating my past.  We are debating that.   Your model completely dismisses love, so it seems. We exposed that when you expressed feelings for someone while claiming multiple partners is the best way to go 

Define love 

[Inliytened1]

1 minute ago, LordFall said:

Define love 

I've been trying to do that for years  😩  but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. 

Edited 1 hour ago by Inliytened1

[LordFall]

 

Plenty of ways to feel and express love. You can date 6 people in a polycule and love all 6. Maybe you love one more than another deep down for whatever reason or you're in a hierarchical relationship with one main wife and have 3 other girlfriends that you also love but they're not as deeply involved in your life so you love them less. 

To me love is not really the problem to figure out in a relationship, you will feel a lot of love for whatever person you're dating. The real problem is not having your shit together in your life so you create predictable problems for yourself and others or having psychological blindspots that you haven't figured out that create the aforementioned problems. 

Edited 1 hour ago by LordFall

[Inliytened1]

1 minute ago, LordFall said:

 

Plenty of ways to feel and express love. You can date 6 people in a polycule and love all 6. Maybe you love one more than another deep down for whatever reason or you're in a hierarchal relationship with one main wife and have 3 other girlfriends that you also love but they're not as deeply involved in your life so you love them less. 

To me love is not really the problem to figure out in a relationship, you will feel a lot of love for whatever person you're dating. The real problem is not having your shit together in your life so you create predictable problems for yourself and others or having psychological blindspots that you have't figured out that create the aforementioned predictable problems. 

None of this quantifies Love and you know this. Dictionary definitions do not cut it.

Edited 1 hour ago by Inliytened1

[LordFall]

3 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

None of this qualifies Love and you know this. Dictionary definitions do not cut it.

No to me that's pretty accurate in my experience. I still love my ex and wish the best for her despite her being too chaotic to have in my life to the point I can't communicate with her. I loved her when we were dating and I loved her when we were on and off fucking for 6 months after we broke up officially.

If you want to have a serious intellectual discussion like serious adults then we need to define the terms we use and think deeply about what we're communication about otherwise it's gonna be very surface level. 

Edited 1 hour ago by LordFall

[Inliytened1]

1 minute ago, LordFall said:

No to me that's pretty accurate in my experience. I still love my ex and wish the best for her despite her being chaos to my life to the point I can't communicate with her. I loved her when we were dating and I loved her when we were on and off fucking for 6 months after we broke up officialy.

If you want to have a serious intellectual discussion like serious adults then we need to define the terms we use and think deeply about what we're communication about otherwise it's gonna be very surface level. 

I was just saying if we have a girl locked is it infatuation or is it love? Or what's the difference?  I think it is love.   Not Absolute Love, but human love. From there she can become obsessed or whatever.  But love is the core.  This was really aimed at @Joshe post

[LordFall]

4 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

I was just saying if we have a girl locked is it infatuation or is it love? Or what's the difference?  I think it is love.   Not Absolute Love, but human love. From there she can become obsessed or whatever.  But love is the core.  This was really aimed at @Joshe post

Idk bro to me I like to define things clearly so there is no confusion and vagueness when I think about things in my own life or when I talk about it with others. 

I touched on everything you've brought up today, relationships get locked in either due to codependency or true alignment. Both can be love, depends on how you define it. The main thing to watch out for is infatuation without alignment as that will inevitably end in a painful breakup as the two people are not right for eachother but are attracted to each other for whatever reason. 

Edited 1 hour ago by LordFall

[Inliytened1]

7 minutes ago, LordFall said:

Idk bro to me I like to define things clearly so there is no confusing and vagueness when I think about things in my own life or when I talk about it with others. 

I touched on everything you've brought up today, relationships get locked in either due to codependency or true alignment. Both can be love, depends on how you define it. The main thing to watch out for is infatuation without alignment as that will basically inevitably end in a painful breakup as the two people are not right or another but are attracted to each other for whatever reason. 

I know you like to define things.   So do I.  So you can have a clear cut picture in your mind. But there are certain things you can't define.  If you fuck her just right, hit her in just the right spot.  She's bagged. Is that infatuation? Of course not.  Because there has to be a starting point prior to that.  Common sense.   Can you define what it is that grabs her? Probably not. You would have to really dive down.  Which part of your penis touched which part of her vagina? Who the fuck knows.  But she's hooked. 

Edited 1 hour ago by Inliytened1

[LordFall]

Right but now you're guilty of anecdotal fallacy also I think that thought of yours is not correct and also has been argued against by multiple women in this thread alone. 

Edited 1 hour ago by LordFall

[Inliytened1]

1 minute ago, LordFall said:

Right but now you're guilty of anecdotal fallacy and also I think that thought of yours is just not correct and also has been argued against by multiple women in this thread alone. 

I guess you'll have to screw enough women and men to know.  Right? I can tell you what I have found.  You can tell me what you have.

[LordFall]

2 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

I guess you'll have to screw enough women and men to know.  Right? I can tell you what I have found.  You can tell me what you have.

Sure, we'll talk again in the coming months and years and see how our dating philosophies and strategies develop. I aim only for the best reality possible for myself and the other people I am in contact with. 

[Inliytened1]

4 minutes ago, LordFall said:

Sure, we'll talk again in the coming months and years and see how our dating philosophies and strategies develop. I aim only for the best reality possible for myself and the other people I am in contact with. 

I just wanna fuck. I mean rock.