Seeing naturals self-amuse vs guys who are not good at it

[Zen LaCroix]

The topic of self-amusement is controversial when talking about improving with women because. Almost every time it’s discussed it’s generally mentioned with the caveat of “Don’t be a clown” or “dancing monkey”. And I’ve seen the dancing monkey stuff happening and I’ve done some weird things for self-amusement myself.

I noticed a stark difference in how naturals self-amuse versus other guys wether they’re learning to improve with women or not. Naturals always look high value/ cool when they self-amuse. 

Whereas other guys often don’t. I’ve heard guys say it doesn’t matter how you dance just as long as you are enjoying yourself that’s all that matters but it’s not true. If you are dancing in a completely off-beat, off-melody way which I’ve seen actual autistic people do you look like you have low social value/ uncool. It’s not even that you need to be a good dancer but jumping up and down as if you’re listening to Metallica when a melodic song is playing on the speakers in the club make you look out of touch and socially uncouth.

Self amusing is about feeling good in your own body. It really is just having fun it’s the same thing.

 

Guys who are bad at self-amusement

- Don’t understand that it’s just about having fun

- overcompensation 

- trying too hard to keep the girls attention

- There’s a lack of groundedness in their self amusement

- Jumping up and down and dancing wildly (I believe we can tell that they are overcompensating for attention that’s why it comes across as clownish)

- They have the vibe of the child that's like "mommy look" and they do something and then look at their mother for a reaction

 

Overall it’s silliness from an overcompensating place it seems for the girls attention and a lack of intent. The girl is in charge of the interaction

 

How I’ve seen naturals self-amuse (these are just a few examples

 

- Flirting

- Giving the girl a fake name

- Getting the girl to sue

- Push/Pull

- Teasing

- Showing disapproval

- Pretending to be gay especially with their male friends

- Making the girl chase even though they know they want her anyway. Ex. They cut off attention to the girl and treat her like she’s a spoiled brat for trying to interrupt him

- Playfully yelling at people

- Mocking girls

- Treating girls like children

- Giving the girl a role or role-playing ex. Pretending like you know each other from middle school when you actually don’t

- Refusing to engage with logic or answer questions 

- Dancing (they look cool when they dance though they’re not doing it awkwardly or because they feel they have to)

I’ve seen that for naturals it comes from a place not taking on other people’s frames, maintaining their own frame and not taking anybody seriously. But there is a time to not be silly. It’s mixed in with actually getting to know someone and the intent is there. They are in charge of the interaction

You can learn self-amusement from girls too. I’m still learning this stuff myself.

[Ulax]

 

[Joshe]

3 hours ago, Zen LaCroix said:

Guys who are bad at self-amusement

- Don’t understand that it’s just about having fun

- overcompensation 

- trying too hard to keep the girls attention

- There’s a lack of groundedness in their self amusement

- Jumping up and down and dancing wildly (I believe we can tell that they are overcompensating for attention that’s why it comes across as clownish)

- They have the vibe of the child that's like "mommy look" and they do something and then look at their mother for a reaction

Some guys just don’t care about amusement, thus they’re bad at it because it’s not something they’re naturally drawn to. I took some phenibut the other day and was totally thrown into self-amusement with 0 inhibition, and was very outward-oriented and expressive. I basically became an extrovert. It was great but I’m not naturally like that, and I’m not interested in trying to change myself on a fundamental level to entertain women. 

If one did want to be more like that, I recommend trying the substance to get a feel for what it might feel like to be what you guys call a “natural”. It can show you what it feels like to be an extrovert and give you a good frame of reference for it. 

I also realized that the self-amused state would be very good for a hook or lure, but it would need calibrated once they’re hooked, otherwise you’d just be doing and saying dumb shit, like the video above describes. 

Edited 1 hour ago by Joshe