Is it ok to catch up with your ex?

[Juan]

After 8 years I spoke to ones of my exes, it was a relationship that ended very toxic and we never sat down and talk about it. Puerto Rico is an island and we are from the art scene so it is kinda inevitable seeing each other (we haven’t seen each for years anyways but I always felt the time to talk will come).

I’m in the US now so we texted, everything feels actually fine, we both move on a lot and did inner healing (in my case with psychedelics). Our talk feels authentic and I’m glad we can be in good terms now.

She followed me back on instagram and idk if I should, not that will affect me but I made a rule to myself to not follow my exes (out of respect for my future partner), but she particularly is a cool girl and it was my longest relationship I’ve been so far.

Can someone relate? Or similar story? 

As long it doesn’t end up with sex do you think it’s alright?

[Jirh]

It's alright even if it ends up with sex.

You've grown. Maybe she's grown too.

It wouldn't hurt to say hi and give it a try to a new fresh start, as if you're meeting a new person entirely.

The point isn't to never go back to someone. The point is to never go back to a toxic dynamic.

Good luck.

Edited 5 hours ago by Jirh

[Natasha Tori Maru]

I don't see a problem with it.

Sometimes we need to realise we are, were, or can be, simply friends.

I enjoy reconnecting with my exes to explore my own emotional responses through a previous connection. My own responses often surprise me - and are a good indicator for my own growth, and what I want going forward. The change in emotional response to a familiar situation can often be great feedback indicators for growth.

Negative responses aren't bad. Bad feelings aren't bad. They pass. Fearing them or avoiding them IS bad. So even if there is some consternation, you learn something. Even if it is simply "I don't want that person in my life anymore, and I have no regrets".

Most times I simply have warm feelings, well wishes, and no real incentive to maintain connection.

[Juan]

1 hour ago, Jirh said:

It wouldn't hurt to say hi and give it a try to a new fresh start, as if you're meeting a new person entirely.

I have ingrained in my mind Leo’s break up advice “YOU DO NOT GO BACK TO YOUR EX!”. But will see, I have no intention on sex rn, just enjoy our conversations. 
 

1 hour ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Sometimes we need to realise we are, were, or can be, simply friends.

I enjoy reconnecting with my exes to explore my own emotional responses through a previous connection. My own responses often surprise me - and are a good indicator for my own growth, and what I want going forward. The change in emotional response to a familiar situation can often be great feedback indicators for growth.

Negative responses aren't bad. Bad feelings aren't bad. They pass. Fearing them or avoiding them IS bad. So even if there is some consternation, you learn something. Even if it is simply "I don't want that person in my life anymore, and I have no regrets".

Most times I simply have warm feelings, well wishes, and no real incentive to maintain connection.

Interesting feedback, I appreciate! 🙏