Are You Aligned In Life?

[CARDOZZO]

@Miguel1

You need to be more strategic about your dating choices. Go to yoga classes, buddhist temples, art gallery, festivals, meditation retreats, spiritual workshops.

Also, you can just find 3 friends to talk about deep topics and just fall in love with a normie bookish nerdy woman to have a family with  

[CARDOZZO]

1 minute ago, CARDOZZO said:

you can just find 3 friends to talk about deep topics and just fall in love with a normie bookish nerdy woman to have a family with

Btw, that is what I am doing  

[Miguel1]

24 minutes ago, CARDOZZO said:

@Miguel1

You need to be more strategic about your dating choices. Go to yoga classes, buddhist temples, art gallery, festivals, meditation retreats, spiritual workshops.

Also, you can just find 3 friends to talk about deep topics and just fall in love with a normie bookish nerdy woman to have a family with  

Noooooo don’t go pick up girls in retreats and spiritual workshops.

I literally can’t fall in love with a normie. It’s so dry! And I would have to be constantly on my toes so as to not say, imply or express something too radical.

A normie wouldnt feel very loved in a relationship with me, simply because I am not so enthuastic about most things they are.

[bazera]

27 minutes ago, CARDOZZO said:

you can just find 3 friends to talk about deep topics

You don't even need 3, I have just one like that and it's enough for me 

I also had a girlfriend like that and I kind of exhausted that need, at least for the moment. 

But I also get Miguel's point of view, it would be hard for me as well to not be able to talk with my partner on deeper topics, even outside of spirituality. There are so many aspects of reality that can be had deep fulfilling conversations on. But for me, it might be weird but I don't care about that much anymore, in the past I did care about that a lot, but after I got it for couple years, meh. It didn't fulfill me ultimately, so it was another dead-end.

I'll experiment with it in the future some more, it will be a better experience since I'll also be much more mature than the previous time.

[bazera]

5 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

Noooooo don’t go pick up girls in retreats and spiritual workshops.

Why not, she will tell you about manifestation, chakras, healing crystals, past lives and types of souls 

Yeah I get it, without proper epistemic base and questioning, all that becomes unbearable after some point. It would be very annoying for me as well to listen to all the unquestioned new-age stuff all the time. 

But I'd like to believe that not all girls are like that on retreats / spiritual workshops. 

[Miguel1]

12 minutes ago, bazera said:

But for me, it might be weird but I don't care about that much anymore, in the past I did care about that a lot, but after I got it for couple years, meh. It didn't fulfill me ultimately, so it was another dead-end.

I'll experiment with it in the future some more, it will be a better experience since I'll also be much more mature than the previous time.

You need to date a normie and talk about all sorts of random crap you have no care about, yet have to act like you care. Then you’ll realize what you had 

[Miguel1]

10 minutes ago, bazera said:

But I'd like to believe that not all girls are like that on retreats / spiritual workshops. 

It’s creepy and not aligned with the highest integrity to go to a place with an agenda of dating them, when people are focused on serious work there. Misalignment in goals, which is the whole reason I am in this place to begin with.

Also, somehow I doubt these places actually have beautiful and youthful girls.

[bazera]

9 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

You need to date a normie and talk about all sorts of random crap you have no care about, yet have to act like you care. Then you’ll realize what you had 

Yeah, no thanks lol, I'd rather be single than act like I care about stuff that I don't really care about. Life is more peaceful like that 

6 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

It’s creepy and not aligned with the highest integrity to go to a place with an agenda of dating them, when people are focused on serious work there. Misalignment in goals, which is the whole reason I am in this place to begin with.

Same for me, if I go to a serious consciousness retreat, I'm not there to look for a date.

But there are some lighter, more green-ish yoga / meditation wellness retreats, that focus more on relaxation than a hardcore metaphysical enquiry.

But again, the types of women you find there, you've probably already have encountered many of them already, so. Nothing new.

It's a tricky situation to be in.

Edited 5 hours ago by bazera

[Miguel1]

@bazera Except when your brain is wired for human connection and intimacy. And wired much harder than your average Joe!

I’ve been with shallow spiritual people. In many ways they are more annoying than normies. Because at least normies won’t bait you in spiritual conversations, and you actually know what you get with them.

[bazera]

2 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

I’ve been with shallow spiritual people. In many ways they are more annoying than normies. Because at least normies won’t bait you in spiritual conversations, and you actually know what you get with them.

Exactly, I've met many of them on different occasions, it's almost always more annoying than normies. They lack philosophical depth. I'm not saying that I've maxxed out that depth myself but at least I'm aware some of the epistemic traps out there.

4 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

Except when your brain is wired for human connection and intimacy

Yeah that must be challenging, I can't relate to that because as I said I can basically go weeks without direct human interaction and be just fine. 

Covid lockdown was the happiest period of my life. I could just be with myself all the time.

Anyways, good luck brother hope you'll find some resolution to your problem soon enough, I think you're on the right track.

[Miguel1]

@bazera

I am wired to be in the middle of hundreds, thousands and perhaps millions of people. Leading them, affecting them directly, impacting them positively. Watching in real time as I see people’s faces filled up with smiles, and hearts filled with love. And their bodies relax into divinity.

I don’t want to say this because I come accross arrogant and superior but honestly, I do deep down feel like I was born a couple hundreds years too early. And I also do tear up from that existential pain fairly often.

I even think of suicide sometimes. (Don’t worry, it’s healthy for all of us to think of it sometimes).

I would be so happy living in the year 2200, assuming humanity keeps evolving. Just the fact that people would be dancing, and singing on the streets (not performing, not trying to survive, but to authentically share beauty and love) would already make it much more joyful.

It’s hard to live in a world where selfishness runs rampant, while you yourself highly value selflessness and try your best to improve at it everyday. In our modern times, we have become so individualistically selfish, that everyone is suffering at a collective level.

It’s especially hard when you have so much to give, but people think it’s weird or even threatening, because they cannot receive so much beauty and light.

- - - - -

Thanks for discussing with me tho, brother. And everyone else too.

This is the type of conversation that fills my soul. With normies, I would perhaps discuss 5% of the depth we discussed here, and we could go way deeper!

They (my friends and family) don’t even understand what it means when I say that I don’t find anyone to connect deeply with, and that it pains me. They literally think on the level of: ”ohhh you will find once you bump into someone who is also into dancing and doing gymnastic, commercial yoga!”

I don’t think I will be finding the people I am looking for, anytime soon. They are extremely rare. Even at the peak of Leo’s popularity, we only got a small handful of people gathered here, in all of the international internet. And many of them are trolls.

- - - - -

I am reminded of a girl I recently dated.

In a way, I prefer a complete airhaid to a ”normal intelligent” person. I recently dated a 23 year old girl, whose mental age got stuck at very low for some reason. The level of our discussion was literally: ”what is your favourite public transportation bus?”

Here in Helsinki, we have one of the best public transportations, so most people use it as their main way of transportation.

I felt bad for her, as I can see that her lack of maturity and intelligence will cause so many issues and so much pain for her, but while hanging out with her, it was almost like meditation. Zero depth was talked. Literally zero. Just being present.

With most girls, I don’t talk depth either most of the time, but at least sometimes conversations get a bit deeper. But with this girl, it was baby talk for 100% of the time, all the time, and she was so happy!

So either it is really intelligent and conscious girls, or complete 100% airheads, that are playful, feminine, humble and know their place!

There are many idiots out there, who think they are wise!

Edited 3 hours ago by Miguel1

[bazera]

29 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

It’s hard to live in a world where selfishness runs rampant, while you yourself highly value selflessness and try your best to improve at it everyday. In our modern times, we have become so individualistically selfish, that everyone is suffering at a collective level.

Yeah, a huge part of the work of becoming more conscious involves accepting selfishness, I also struggle with it and I'm almost certain this struggle will intensify tenfold once I have some Awakenings and try to integrate the insights into relative world.

Still, without such consciousness, even with selfishness, sometimes when I dwell on my own, how selfish I was in intimate relationships, with my family, friends, etc, and how robotic and automatic life becomes from time to time with all the addictions and survival stuff, it sickens me, but I also try to see the reasonings behind it, the intelligence that was behind it. Even addiction is a very intelligence mechanism, just to observe how it completely absorbs you to keep you surviving the only way it knows, not to mention the mechanism behind the selfishness itself as a whole, it's so complex and interesting, but at the same time obstructive if one is trying to transcend it or change life circumstances to allow more trutful living.

29 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

They are extremely rare. Even at the peak of Leo’s popularity, we only got a small handful of people gathered here, in all of the international internet. And many of them are trolls.

I agree with this, people even remotely interested in these topics are very rare. For me personally, I've lost one partner that was like that, I was grieving for months because I thought I'd never find someone like her, so aligned with my value, it was really tough, but I had to accept that fact in the end. I think I did. Even if I don't find anyone like her, I think I'm okay.

But hey, we're still young so life is full of surprices you know, never say never.

29 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

I recently dated a 23 year old girl, whose mental age got stuck at very low for some reason. The level of our discussion was literally: ”what is your favourite public transportation bus?”

Yeah after a while that will get real boring. Something has to be rekindeling connection.

Maybe she needed more time to open up and go deeper with you? Or maybe she needed introductions to certain topics that she'd find interest in? I don't know, trying to see the situation from her perspective as well.

Edited 3 hours ago by bazera

[CARDOZZO]

@Miguel1

I don't know what to say anymore. The one thing is: you have a choice.

You always have a choice to make.

You can do what I have told you or become a monk for 1 year just to experiment.

 

[Joseph Maynor]

I find spiritual women charming honestly.  

[Miguel1]

39 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

I find spiritual women charming honestly.  

In my youth, when I was still spiritually very naive, and spirituality wasn’t as mainstream as it is now, whenever I bumped into a girl into ”spirituality”, I would immediately jump with excitement.

Nowadays I am skeptical, and most of the time, it turns out to be shallow / fake spirituality.

[Joseph Maynor]

2 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

In my youth, when I was still spiritually very naive, and spirituality wasn’t as mainstream as it is now, whenever I bumped into a girl into ”spirituality”, I would immediately jump with excitement.

Nowadays I am skeptical, and most of the time, it turns out to be shallow / fake spirituality.

I don't try to be spiritually right.  I'm interested in everything they want to talk about.

[Miguel1]

12 minutes ago, Joseph Maynor said:

I don't try to be spiritually right.  I'm interested in everything they want to talk about.

There is real, genuine spirituality tho. And then there is spiritual conformity, which is most of spirituality. It's to enhance survival.

[Joseph Maynor]

8 minutes ago, Miguel1 said:

There is real, genuine spirituality tho. And then there is spiritual conformity, which is most of spirituality. It's to enhance survival.

I would look at this one.  This can feel like pressure to another who you relate with which can become a block to relationship.

[Joseph Maynor]

12 hours ago, Someone here said:

You can’t socialize without bullshitting . Pick your lane .that’s the bottom line .

Right.  Because socializing is in part a performance.