holy shit it's all a dream, i am all alone. I awoken.

[Breakingthewall]

8 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

Yes there was almost no border left, but it didn’t add richness in contrast to baseline, only removed, so very “dead” like state. It seemed it was approaching “unconsciousness

Supposedly, what 5-MeO aims to achieve is the dissolution of all your psychological structures, leaving you with the life you are without structure. This is perceived as total glory, an absolute power that explodes and is your true nature. It's simply the act of existing without all the intricate valorative systems that are inevitable as a human being.

The idea is to understand how and why you disconnect from that essential reality. 5-MeO helps with this. True, total openness is achieved without 5-MeO; it's sober because 5-MeO always introduces a hallucinogenic component, a "high," confusion. It's violent; it demolishes structures through brute force.

8 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

So what kind of state is it when you’ve dissolved that regular mental sense of self, then there’s still experience of being behind the eyes in the head (I use word being differently than you here), in the body, but not so thick boundary, then still a structure there, but it feels more purely “neurological”, and you see your minds eye, hear your thoughts and they also are aspect of your sense of self but not “stuck” in a larger mental structure like before. It’s all softer, flowing more, also energies inside that weren’t felt before, also are what you experience yourself as, kinda. So yes still form.

What I mean is In meditation, you reach a point where there is only the fact of "I am." You forget about the body and everything else; it becomes deactivated. There is only the raw "I am," without anything else. Then comes the difficult step. Let's see, you reach that point by will; you still know you are meditating, but in the background. Then, from that background, you focus on the feeling of centeredness, of the "I" that receives the "am." The "I" that is the receiver of the experience.

Then sometimes, if you manage to hold that state for a while and your psychological structure allows it, the center disappears. For a few moments, perhaps 10 seconds, reality opens up completely. Here there is no "I am," there is no structure, you are not aware of anything, well you are but you don't feel that you are aware, it's total, unlimited reality is, period.

The first time this happens, it feels like your brain is being fried with electricity. Reality is dazzling white.(This is just by the stress of the change of frequency id say, nothing like "mystical"). Your heart and mind open completely; you are one with the absolute; you are the absolute. A fluctuation then occurs, and you return to your normal state, but what has been revealed remains partially perceptible. A few seconds like this, even a single second, change your operating system.

It's as if you've been fueled by dead energy and are now in contact with what lives (it's a metaphor, what happens is that you was closed in the mental loop that creates a ground full time because you needed it). What lives is indescribable; it is living reality, the totality of being. It is not someone, an entity that wants something, but it is still everything, and your operating system automatically creates the imperative to align yourself completely with that totality. You are no longer an individual in need seeking things to satisfy you; you are a manifestation of the totality trying to align itself to the fullest extent. more like a soldier with a mission than a seeker of satisfaction (too epic, better a mind re calibrating itself). Total satisfaction lies in being what you are.

If this happens but time pass, you start forgetting, it blurs. In some point you are closed to what is. You have to do again and again, and it's not easy, there are many barriers, your psyche is the barrier, it has to change, and changes are slow. In some moment you reach a point where the closure is low, easy to open. Then you don't try anymore to achieve total openess, it's enough with the life that transparents in everything, you don't need more mystical stuff, reality is mystical enough, this is the real thing, the absolute is exactly here and now. 

Edited 4 hours ago by Breakingthewall