Start Praising Good Forum Posts

[caspex]

In my life I recently learnt the lesson of giving credit where it's due. I used to rarely praise others yet often point out the mistakes or add my own opinion, only recently did I learn the benefits of praising things that you genuinely enjoy instead of staying quite. 

I urge the people here to give credit to posts they found to be of quality. A big issue I noticed with this forum compared to previous years is that the quality of posts went down. While I don't think the situation is anything serious, I think it is important to work towards a forum that holds discussions that are higher in quality.

The easiest change one can make is instead of reading a quality post and moving on (because it's good enough that you have nothing to add) you should drop a reply detailing what you found great.

I think if we did this more often people will be encouraged to drop more quality posts on the forum and push towards posting great insights. Whether one wants to admit it or not, the engagement your post gets matter. If the millionth post about Solipsism gets tons of traction but a genuinely great insight posted gets 0 replies, it discourages the person to post their best insights. 

I have witnessed so many times quality posts(especially in the spirituality section) get no engagement at all. I won't name anybody but there are some people here who I genuinely find to be regularly posting some high quality stuff, yet they get basically no engagement. 

It's because we post here to share which is why the engagement we get matters. If we engage with great quality posts; even dropping a simple "great insight!" can, in my opinion, greatly increase the number of quality posts on the forum. 

[Ulax]

great insight!

[jimwell]

1 hour ago, caspex said:

I urge the people here to give credit to posts they found to be of quality. A big issue I noticed with this forum compared to previous years is that the quality of posts went down.

People in this forum have already implemented this in various ways. They consistently like and engage with threads and posts they perceive as good. The problem is that people don’t truly see things for what they are; instead, they see them through the lens of who they are. It’s similar to Americans who voted for Trump. Do you think they voted because they perceived Trump as bad? Of course not. In their eyes, Trump was good; very good.  That was why they voted for him. The exact same mechanism operates in this forum. Users spend hours reading and replying to threads and posts they perceive as good. 

As the old cliche goes: Birds of a feather flock together.

 

1 hour ago, caspex said:

If the millionth post about Solipsism gets tons of traction but a genuinely great insight posted gets 0 replies, it discourages the person to post their best insights. 

The solution is: Post or reply for beauty or intelligence, not for social, forum, or external validation.

 

1 hour ago, caspex said:

I have witnessed so many times quality posts(especially in the spirituality section) get no engagement at all. I won't name anybody but there are some people here who I genuinely find to be regularly posting some high quality stuff, yet they get basically no engagement. 

As Leo has said in the past: It's lonely at the top.

[enchanted]

1 hour ago, caspex said:

In my life I recently learnt the lesson of giving credit where it's due. I used to rarely praise others yet often point out the mistakes or add my own opinion, only recently did I learn the benefits of praising things that you genuinely enjoy instead of staying quite. 

I urge the people here to give credit to posts they found to be of quality. A big issue I noticed with this forum compared to previous years is that the quality of posts went down. While I don't think the situation is anything serious, I think it is important to work towards a forum that holds discussions that are higher in quality.

The easiest change one can make is instead of reading a quality post and moving on (because it's good enough that you have nothing to add) you should drop a reply detailing what you found great.

I think if we did this more often people will be encouraged to drop more quality posts on the forum and push towards posting great insights. Whether one wants to admit it or not, the engagement your post gets matter. If the millionth post about Solipsism gets tons of traction but a genuinely great insight posted gets 0 replies, it discourages the person to post their best insights. 

I have witnessed so many times quality posts(especially in the spirituality section) get no engagement at all. I won't name anybody but there are some people here who I genuinely find to be regularly posting some high quality stuff, yet they get basically no engagement. 

It's because we post here to share which is why the engagement we get matters. If we engage with great quality posts; even dropping a simple "great insight!" can, in my opinion, greatly increase the number of quality posts on the forum. 

Excellent post and something that is needed to be heard on online forums. Online disinhibition effect brings out the worst in us. The nameless and faceless nature of the internet makes us forget we are talking to a human who is a lot more alike to us than different. 

Collaboration on ideas, questions (instead of brow beating), and "yes and" statements are much more persuasive than arguing. Argument merely increases defensiveness and inhibiting true learning and change. 

[caspex]

16 hours ago, jimwell said:

People in this forum have already implemented this in various ways. They consistently like and engage with threads and posts they perceive as good.

That's good then. Maybe I haven't been active enough to notice.

16 hours ago, jimwell said:

The problem is that people don’t truly see things for what they are; instead, they see them through the lens of who they are. It’s similar to Americans who voted for Trump. Do you think they voted because they perceived Trump as bad? Of course not. In their eyes, Trump was good; very good.  That was why they voted for him. The exact same mechanism operates in this forum. Users spend hours reading and replying to threads and posts they perceive as good. 

As the old cliche goes: Birds of a feather flock together.

Yes I agree we cannot guarantee what people consider as 'quality' and what they find 'trash'. However it's not practical to ask people to simply up their perspective. In my opinion asking for simple gratitude in a community can already up the base quality of posts because it encourages better posts. This forum may even become more active if engagement increases.

16 hours ago, jimwell said:

The solution is: Post or reply for beauty or intelligence, not for social, forum, or external validation.

It's not so simple. You can't post on a public forum and act like you did that only for beauty and intelligence. There is always an element of sharing and feedback involved. Some people post for validation, some post for help, some post for an honest discussion, some post to potentially help another and some post for analysis. We all have our reasons but their is common thread between all and that is feedback. Feedback can encourage or discourage to post more; but a lack of it always discourages.

In my experience very high quality posts have gotten ignored because the kind of feedback they require is not of critic or addition (the easiest feedback to give). Sometimes what a post requires is genuine appreciation and that is the least common type of feedback. If we don't provide feedback to quality posts then they will eventually slow down. 

If this change towards gratitude has already been happening then I am glad.

 

Edited 6 hours ago by caspex

[caspex]

15 hours ago, enchanted said:

Excellent post and something that is needed to be heard on online forums. Online disinhibition effect brings out the worst in us. The nameless and faceless nature of the internet makes us forget we are talking to a human who is a lot more alike to us than different. 

Collaboration on ideas, questions (instead of brow beating), and "yes and" statements are much more persuasive than arguing. Argument merely increases defensiveness and inhibiting true learning and change. 

Exactly. The rarest type of feedback I see is of genuine appreciation. In communities where this type of feedback is common they often host great spaces for discussion.

Even in my relationships I observed how important it was to give credit to people where it's due. This is just plain gratitude. We shouldn't take quality posts for granted at all.

Edited 6 hours ago by caspex

[Natasha Tori Maru]

Expressions of gratitude are my favourite 

Unfortunately, there are some nasty forum players who dislike this: there have been accusations of ganging up, glazing, and needlessly interrupting the flow of threads just because they didn't like a poster expressing agreement (even via an emoji, checkmate etc) 

It is sad to see. 

Humans love to feel emotions. Drama or contentious threads happen to engage them - good or bad. It's such a shame that many are so numbed by life that even bad feelings (self generated) through heated drama and controversial topics, are better than feeling nothing at all... 

When people disagree you get more engagement even without emotions.

The best insights don't have much activity as sometimes others just don't have anything to add. Which can point toward a true, well rounded post. Does not mean accolades are not warranted! 

In the spirit of the thread: good post 😃

 

[caspex]

8 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Expressions of gratitude are my favourite 

Unfortunately, there are some nasty forum players who dislike this: there have been accusations of ganging up, glazing, and needlessly interrupting the flow of threads just because they didn't like a poster expressing agreement (even via an emoji, checkmate etc) 

It is sad to see. 

Humans love to feel emotions. Drama or contentious threads happen to engage them - good or bad. It's such a shame that many are so numbed by life that even bad feelings (self generated) through heated drama and controversial topics, are better than feeling nothing at all... 

When people disagree you get more engagement even without emotions.

The best insights don't have much activity as sometimes others just don't have anything to add. Which can point toward a true, well rounded post. Does not mean accolades are not warranted! 

In the spirit of the thread: good post 😃

This is why I usually avoid posts with maybe over 20 replies. The reason for vast amounts of replies on a post are seldom due to a quality discussion. Seeing that engagement while almost none on that of some quality post is what made me make this post.

[Mellowmarsh]

16 hours ago, jimwell said:

As Leo has said in the past: It's lonely at the top.

I have to agree with Leo.

One is the loneliest number.

There’s no number that comes before one and every number that comes after one is just more of the one in apparent divided singular units. This of course is synonymous with the solipsism or holographic principle. 

Nothing needed to create division, because nothing cannot divide itself, or split into two ones. One is simply an illusion interacting with itself. Illusion knowing it’s an illusion. To have a friend you have to be a friend which of course is your own best friend.

[Mellowmarsh]

47 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

It is sad to see. 

No it’s not. It’s just the nature of human behaviour. Read the fable of the “scorpion and the frog” , it serves as a perfect metaphor for human behaviour.

Real truth is all I’m personally interested in. Not here to live a lie, but to live the raw unfiltered naked truth, that most people cannot bear to hear, maybe because they’re not quite ready to hear it yet, but they can at any moment either right now or on their deathbed.

 

Don't bash me.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

3 minutes ago, Mellowmarsh said:

No it’s not. It’s just the nature of human behaviour. Read the fable of the “scorpion and the frog” , it serves as a perfect metaphor for human behaviour.

Real truth is all I’m personally interested in. Not here to live a lie, but to live the raw unfiltered naked truth, that most people cannot bear to hear, maybe because they’re not quite ready to hear it yet, but they can at any moment either right now or on their deathbed.

 

Don't bash me.

That's fine, you can have your opinion. Same for all

[Mellowmarsh]

Just now, Natasha Tori Maru said:

That's fine, you can have your opinion. Same for all

Exactly, no point in kicking a dog for what dogs do. That’s the nasty. 

[enchanted]

3 hours ago, Mellowmarsh said:

No it’s not. It’s just the nature of human behaviour. Read the fable of the “scorpion and the frog” , it serves as a perfect metaphor for human behaviour.

Real truth is all I’m personally interested in. Not here to live a lie, but to live the raw unfiltered naked truth, that most people cannot bear to hear, maybe because they’re not quite ready to hear it yet, but they can at any moment either right now or on their deathbed.

 

Don't bash me.

I appreciate the sentiment and your commitment to the truth. However, I wonder if you are this bold in real life. If you treat people offline with more restraint, then this unfiltered online persona isn't actually genuine. True authenticity means treating people online with the same respect we show them face-to-face. Let's not lose sight of the fact that real truth is ultimately loving and beautiful, not intentionally harsh.

[enchanted]

4 hours ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

Expressions of gratitude are my favourite 

Unfortunately, there are some nasty forum players who dislike this: there have been accusations of ganging up, glazing, and needlessly interrupting the flow of threads just because they didn't like a poster expressing agreement (even via an emoji, checkmate etc) 

It is sad to see. 

Humans love to feel emotions. Drama or contentious threads happen to engage them - good or bad. It's such a shame that many are so numbed by life that even bad feelings (self generated) through heated drama and controversial topics, are better than feeling nothing at all... 

When people disagree you get more engagement even without emotions.

The best insights don't have much activity as sometimes others just don't have anything to add. Which can point toward a true, well rounded post. Does not mean accolades are not warranted! 

In the spirit of the thread: good post 😃

 

On point, you really do have great ideas and a skill with words.

I would add that while silence can imply agreement, we also need to practice not automatically reacting to things we disagree with. This is a classic toxic parenting and leadership style where negative behavior is accidentally rewarded with attention. When a child or team member learns that acting out is the only way to get a response, they keep doing it. A good parent or leader intentionally reacts to good behavior with more enthusiasm and attention than bad. Perhaps this is a skill we can practice cultivating here so that this forum can become less toxic and also helps us be better members of our communities IRL. 

If we encourage good behavior, instead of ignore it, maybe by asking genuine questions, we get more of it and actually learn about where other users are coming from in greater detail. This is what collaborative and constructive group dynamics looks like. There's a great short book by an Australian author called The Advice Trap by Michael Bungay Stanier that talks about this I really liked.

Thanks for your time @Natasha Tori Maru!

Edited 1 hour ago by enchanted

[Mellowmarsh]

1 minute ago, enchanted said:

I appreciate the sentiment and your commitment to the truth. However, I wonder if you are this bold in real life. If you treat people offline with more restraint, then this unfiltered online persona isn't actually genuine. True authenticity means treating people online with the same respect we show them face-to-face. Let's not lose sight of the fact that real truth is ultimately loving and beautiful, not intentionally harsh.

Oh Gawd. 🤷‍♀️ Another truth denier rearing its ugly mole head. 

[Mellowmarsh]

8 minutes ago, enchanted said:

On point, you really do have great ideas and a skill with words 

Appearances are deceptive. Think Dexter.

 

Just be yourself, the real fictional character. No one knows you, non, except what you want to believe, what you want to see. Preferably what suits me me me. It’s a true story as old as time itself.. 

[enchanted]

10 minutes ago, Mellowmarsh said:

Oh Gawd. 🤷‍♀️ Another truth denier rearing its ugly mole head. 

Thanks for the feedback "ZEN AF" but you are proving my point. Classic online disinhibition in full effect here. Have some respect and share joy and you will notice you will be happier and your life will get better. I'm willing to bet if you have time to be nasty on this forum there are many things in your life you'd wish to improve. The solution to all your problems is kindness and love. Hope it goes well for you. 

[Mellowmarsh]

2 minutes ago, enchanted said:

Thanks for the feedback "ZEN AF" but you are proving my point. Classic online disinhibition in full effect here. Have some respect and share joy and you will notice you will be happier and your life will get better. I'm willing to bet if you have time to be nasty on this forum there are many things in your life you'd wish to improve. The solution to all your problems is kindness and love. Hope it goes well for you. 

Okay, thanks for not accepting me for who and what I am.

 

And for proving my point that no one knows you. Carry on  with the pretentious BS but you don’t fool me.

[Mellowmarsh]

6 minutes ago, enchanted said:

Thanks for the feedback "ZEN AF"

Mistaking the images seen on a screen for reality is pornography for dummies.

 

Just keep sucking your own dick. You love it.

 

 

[enchanted]

2 minutes ago, Mellowmarsh said:

Mistaking the images seen on a screen for reality is pornography for dummies.

 

Just keep sucking your own dick. You love it.

 

 

Let us know what is really bothering you. Maybe we can help! Remember no matter how tough life gets the people around you are willing to care, help, and love you. Just reach out when you are ready. Peace bro