Seeking Emotional Validation from Others.

[integral]

• Actually talking to someone about how I feel is placing the responsibility of my feelings onto someone else and now if they don't deliver, I'm gonna dislike them. It's a fools game...

Now The Stereotype of course is that women chit chat with each other and they're doing this on steroids, everything they say is they want the other person to validate with what they just said and to validate how they felt about it. And then you get women who are constantly creating drama with all of their relationships... It's not surprising because at some point based on probability people are NOT going to validate you're feeling some of the time. And then you have a temper tantrum, and you blame these people for not validating your feelings, and you externalize all this as their fault, because you didn't care enough to take responsibility for them yourself.

When I was a kid anytime I attempted to be understood I was let down. So I just stop doing it, and I was free from ever needing that again.

So why is it that people never learned this lesson? Are they insulated in some way?

I do not need my feelings validated, I do not need someone to hear how i feel, I do not need to be reassured in any way emotionally about anything, I am self assured, I am self fulfilled.

Edited 6 hours ago by integral

[Rishabh R]

Trying to stop caring about validation and instead caring about one's own behaviour is a better thing to care about than wheather other people validate you or not. Learned this after huge amount of suffering,insults and disrespectful interactions (even though they still happen now but now I care less about them ).

[Hojo]

Its a loop. 

Reactions, wanting to be validated puts yourself out there

You are out there you dont get the reaction you want

You react negatively and it loops.

Its not possible to not react thats why they say just dont do it.

Woman do this on hyperdrive compared to men.

So men that are raised by woman will be stuck in this loop too. (As woman dont know they are doing it)

This is why men are having troubles. If the boy dosent follow these games he gets forced into it.

Men are not hardwired to do this at all.

All the man is there for is to protect and watch and crack a random joke now and then, socially and they have problems when its not like that.

The goal of man is to become God. Social games fuck that up, the man is to not be scared. The man must be if he is forced to create a persona, and believe its real.

Why do people still do it? They are not concious and it takes a long time to get rid of. Its like a tulpa.

Its a metaphysical entity that exists as a thought form for survival.

Edited 46 minutes ago by Hojo