I doubt God when sober :(

[Mixcoatl]

It is weird how in sober state I doubt a lot about what I've experienced with bufo alvarius but every time I smoke it again I come to this manifestation of God. In the past months I have been trying to convince myself when I am sober that everything is God without accepting that there is no need to do it when I already experienced it, more precise: When the experience of Everything has happened already. When I smoke bufo is not that I see God, I could describe it more like: only God can recognize itself and only God can know God and the experience happens to it. Then I come back from the trip but I, Mixcoatl, remember the experience that I try to deny with my logic.

Today I smoked weed and I had the realization again but more like a flashback, remembering the experience and it was much easier for me to accept that God exists, something that usually doesn't happen. One day I was sitting at my terrace just starring at my dog and suddenly I had the same flaskback of being everything and in that precise moment I had no doubt of what was happening.

Gura says in one of his videos that he is constantly aware that "this is God". I can't do it yet and honestly I don't think I need to pursue it, but it's confusing the feeling of denying something that I remember already happened.

Edited Friday at 03:55 AM by Mixcoatl

[Leo Gura]

@Mixcoatl Your mind needs to draw a connection between God and your present sober state, so you can notice it now, rather than turning to memory. Memory is better than no memory, but the next step is to notice it now.

Next time you trip, take a smaller dose and aim to recognize God from a more sober state, and then link that in your mind to your sober state. Keep repeating that until the link is strong.

Edited Friday at 04:03 AM by Leo Gura

[Willy Phallicus]

Here's what worked for me.  The next time you are tripping make it a point to tell yourself over and over you don't want to let go of these insights when you are sober.  It might take more than one trip but eventually you stop kidding yourself.

As a side bonus, which you have already alluded too, other substances (like weed) will bring you to the same realization and then you can do away with the hardcore psychedelics if you so choose. 

[No1Here2c]

@Mixcoatl

I think doubt is a good driving force in moderate amounts to fuel curiosity and investigative inspiration.

Though it is certainly not always comfortable. 

Doubt, confusion & the like are common to me and I find them to be honest portrayals to the human minds capacities for attempts at holding onto the divine.

I think these to be ultimately good things along the refinement process of understanding this work.

Edited 8 hours ago by No1Here2c

[No1Here2c]

There is good reason to be doubtful and questionitive of pure miracle and magic which has passed before your eyes.

It is almost too good to be true.

Edited 8 hours ago by No1Here2c

[No1Here2c]

On 4/10/2026 at 0:03 AM, Leo Gura said:

@Mixcoatl Your mind needs to draw a connection between God and your present sober state, so you can notice it now, rather than turning to memory. Memory is better than no memory, but the next step is to notice it now.

Next time you trip, take a smaller dose and aim to recognize God from a more sober state, and then link that in your mind to your sober state. Keep repeating that until the link is strong.

Seems like correct guidance towards building a bridge between the expansive states and this one.

[integral]

[Mixcoatl]

On 9/4/2026 at 10:03 PM, Leo Gura said:

@Mixcoatl Your mind needs to draw a connection between God and your present sober state, so you can notice it now, rather than turning to memory. Memory is better than no memory, but the next step is to notice it now.

Next time you trip, take a smaller dose and aim to recognize God from a more sober state, and then link that in your mind to your sober state. Keep repeating that until the link is strong.

No judgement of the things that arise in the present moment help me a lot to have a significant approach to God but it's way more difficult. I'll take into consideration the advice.

[Mixcoatl]

On 11/4/2026 at 5:27 AM, Willy Phallicus said:

Here's what worked for me.  The next time you are tripping make it a point to tell yourself over and over you don't want to let go of these insights when you are sober.  It might take more than one trip but eventually you stop kidding yourself.

As a side bonus, which you have already alluded too, other substances (like weed) will bring you to the same realization and then you can do away with the hardcore psychedelics if you so choose. 

I'm planning a solo retreat in a cabin in the forest without drugs. I think this is one of the best methods 

[Mixcoatl]

6 hours ago, No1Here2c said:

@Mixcoatl

I think doubt is a good driving force in moderate amounts to fuel curiosity and investigative inspiration.

Though it is certainly not always comfortable. 

Doubt, confusion & the like are common to me and I find them to be honest portrayals to the human minds capacities for attempts at holding onto the divine.

I think these to be ultimately good things along the refinement process of understanding this work.

I am a very neurotic person, haha. And I always want to have the definitive answer to questions. In that attempt, I start to create explanations over explanations but the problem is that I get distracted from what I truly experienced with substances.