I doubt God when sober :(

[Mixcoatl]

It is weird how in sober state I doubt a lot about what I've experienced with bufo alvarius but every time I smoke it again I come to this manifestation of God. In the past months I have been trying to convince myself when I am sober that everything is God without accepting that there is no need to do it when I already experienced it, more precise: When the experience of Everything has happened already. When I smoke bufo is not that I see God, I could describe it more like: only God can recognize itself and only God can know God and the experience happens to it. Then I come back from the trip but I, Mixcoatl, remember the experience that I try to deny with my logic.

Today I smoked weed and I had the realization again but more like a flashback, remembering the experience and it was much easier for me to accept that God exists, something that usually doesn't happen. One day I was sitting at my terrace just starring at my dog and suddenly I had the same flaskback of being everything and in that precise moment I had no doubt of what was happening.

Gura says in one of his videos that he is constantly aware that "this is God". I can't do it yet and honestly I don't think I need to pursue it, but it's confusing the feeling of denying something that I remember already happened.

Edited 5 hours ago by Mixcoatl

[Leo Gura]

@Mixcoatl Your mind needs to draw a connection between God and your present sober state, so you can notice it now, rather than turning to memory. Memory is better than no memory, but the next step is to notice it now.

Next time you trip, take a smaller dose and aim to recognize God from a more sober state, and then link that in your mind to your sober state. Keep repeating that until the link is strong.

Edited 5 hours ago by Leo Gura