85mcs LSD Trip Report - All Strawberries no Brakes

[cle103]

As I haven’t tripped in long time I was a bit worried. About the come up in particular. But it was smooth sailing from the start. No anxiety at all. 

One of my key questions was: How do I live? As in what is the correct way of living for me or how to be in the world. Gonna get back to that one. 

My mind kinda shifted towards the topic of epistemic blunders. I had to think of Jan 6th and the QAnon shaman. Like what led him to wear that buffallo hat that day? I saw how it could not have been any other way. I realized how everyone there was right. I also saw how everyone who thought those guys were wrong was right as well. Everyone is right, in their own mind. And to Gods mind there’s no such thing as right or wrong. It’s just playing with itself. Like two waves of the same river crashing into each other, playfully. 

That was kinda amusing in this example but got immediately challenged when my mind shifted to Epstein. I was able to shift consciousness into Epsteins mind. I could see how he was right as well. Exact same thing. Waves crashing into each other. Then the mind came in "who could stomach such a form of Love?" 

I couldn’t.

A while later I also realized why: Because I still assumed I was human. 

This was one of my most primal beliefs. 

 

Who could’ve thought that the most rudimentary, first, assumption I ever made about myself - that I’m human - is wrong. 

What in the fuck? My birth was imaginary. My "life" is like specks of sand rippling in the wind over the desert. 

It’s a mirage.  

Aaah. 

After being released from my human bounds I was immediately able to realize Epstein as Love. A Love so total it loves everything. Every dark corner and underbelly. It’s all Love. As for God there’s no darkness, only Self Love. 

I am Love. 

A Self Love so animated and live with Intelligence it’s mind boggling. Who remains when the voice in my head stops narrating and my personality washes away? It’s exactly this Self Love. I like the term "Self Love" bc. God is actively loving itself. 

 

Who breathes this body? 

Can I let go of this control as well, make the leap of faith? As my mind formulated the question the imaginary leap was already taken. 

Can’t really put the next part into words. 

Onwards! 

 

I realized that the correct question isn’t "How to live?" but rather "How to love?". 

The second crucial epistemic blunder I’ve made in my life was to think that Love is limited. It’s this core belief that causes all wounds - collectively as well as on a personal level. Every war can boiled down to this. 

Oof. 

This was all a lot to stomach and made me realize I had gotten quite hungry… 

 

Strawberries

5 hours in I decided on having some strawberry sorbet. After the first bite I thought to myself "Gosh, who doesn’t love strawberries?". Then I realized that to God literally everything tastes like strawberries. Oof again.  

I then also realized how animate consciousness constructed the "taste" of "strawberries" and how it made "me" jive with it in particular. Such a deep intelligence. 

And on it went... 

Back to the question of how to live love. This is all a Love simulator. Can you love me? The self asks. Show me how to love, the intention arises. Oof yet again. 

 

I think that’s it. 

Pardon all my oof’s and aah’s, it’s kinda hard to find words and wrap my mind around these things - love this expression lol. 

This whole ordeal was grueling, solid 10 hours.  

Hope you enjoyed reading!

Gonna eat a bit more strawberry sorbet now. 

Love you, bye

[Leo Gura]