Sources About Healthy Masculinity

[Starlight321]

Hey guys, I need your help. I've grown up without an adequate father role model and I'm looking to change that and integrate this part of my psyche.  

I'm looking for good sources of healthy masculinity to integrate. This can be youtube channels and videos which treat the subject connecting to your masculine side, healthy role models and books and articles. Exersizes and practices are also welcome but please keep the focus on the subject and don't let this thread be side tracked by distracting debates. I think it would be very helpful to others as well who have similiar challenges.

Thx in advance

[Cred]

I know this sounds arrogant, but I honestly think that I am the best source. I'm not mentioning masculinity specifically much to avoid sex-gender confusion, but what I'm talking about is extremely relevant for the concept of masculinity.

I am precisely, logically, and ontologically describing what you mean when you say "the balance between masculinity and femininity".

I have the answer for why this is important in the first place. When you think that you have deficiency in masculinity than everything about my theory that has to do with sequentiality, which is objectivity and power is especially irrelevant to you. But of course everything is relevant since learning only takes place through making distinctions.

[bazera]

@Starlight321 Theory is good, but focus more on practice.

Train in various ways: physical, mental, emotional.

Take up more responsibility in life, set goals and lead yourself into actually accomplishing them over and over again. Learn from your mistakes.

Take charge of your life, also help out others if you can (your family for example).

Learn a difficult skill that requires patience and discipline.

Study history. Study how people handled hardships all throught the history.

Study and work on emboding the following principles: responsibility, competence, strength, discipline, courage, leadership, integrity, emotional control. There are so many ways of practicing each of these, get creative.

Have you been doing all these?

Edited 10 hours ago by bazera

[WillCameron]

I'm writing about masculinity for a solarpunk society. The overarching theme of the current series is a redefinition of the self that is better placed to transform society in beneficial ways. However, I use masculinity and sexual ethics as a case study for defining that self.

This is the stage setting info that I use to explain it.

1. I start from the idea that the self is relational, or created out of its relations with others and the world. This calls us to consider the ethical quality of our relationships.

2. Levinas and Beauvoir state that the sexual relation is exemplary of the ethical. As such, I use romantic relationships as a case study in building the solarpunk self.

3. I use heterosexual relationships primarily because that is my own experience. I'm a heterosexual man, so I can't really speak about experiences outside that.

The end goal is to understand the ethical relations in the context of sexual relations, which can help us understand the kinds of relations necessary to produce the kinds of selves necessary to create solarpunk. This is not necessarily the kinds of selves that will be "in" a solarpunk culture because we can't actually know what that would be.

All of us, to a greater or lesser extent, have been shaped by neoliberal capitalism, and so we have to develop the kind of self-conception that can heal ourselves and the world.

With this new conception of the self, informed by psychological and cognitive science, we are better positioned to create selves that can create solarpunk. 

We want to think of the movement toward solarpunk as a development toward a series of adjacent possibles. An adjacent possible is the smallest step we can take toward where we want to go. Often visions fail to realize because we try to skip too many steps.

We can only be directed toward the better and so we must start where we are. In other words, this definition can only ever be aspirational.

Here is the first essay in the series. I release every Saturday, and YouTube and Spotify links are inside the article. - https://solarpunkmythos.substack.com/p/solarpunk-selves-and-sexual-ethics

If you have any questions feel free to ask.

Edited 10 hours ago by WillCameron

[ivayloivanov0926]

I highly recommend the book "King Warrior Magician Lover". It has helped me a lot in my journey.

[Starlight321]

9 hours ago, bazera said:

@Starlight321 Theory is good, but focus more on practice.

Train in various ways: physical, mental, emotional.

Take up more responsibility in life, set goals and lead yourself into actually accomplishing them over and over again. Learn from your mistakes.

Take charge of your life, also help out others if you can (your family for example).

Learn a difficult skill that requires patience and discipline.

Study history. Study how people handled hardships all throught the history.

Study and work on emboding the following principles: responsibility, competence, strength, discipline, courage, leadership, integrity, emotional control. There are so many ways of practicing each of these, get creative.

Have you been doing all these?

I'm have been doing some of those. I've been disciplining myself and changing thinking patterns and doing spiritual work. I've set loose goals but after reflection I think the were too loose. I will define them narrower and be more specific.

Hehe, I came up with a similiar list when I contemplated the subject. I think I will focus on each principle for a certain amount of time like a month in turn so that I'm not all over and can work through other points as well. Thank you for the inspiration.

I have Arnold Schwarzenegger's book "be useful" on my shelf. He talks a lot about how he handled challenges he encountered in his live. I read about a third of it. I will put it on my list.

I'm also very active in dating. It's a steep learning curve and I've inproved a lot since last year.

 

Edited 1 hour ago by Starlight321

[Starlight321]

7 hours ago, ivayloivanov0926 said:

I highly recommend the book "King Warrior Magician Lover". It has helped me a lot in my journey.

I will check it out. Thank you!