Giving up on my life purpose- joining the Marines

[machinegun]

I'm done begging and humiliating myself and to be one in a million in the rat race competing for jobs, girls, and status. It feels so ungenuine and I can't keep faking my personality.

I'm a serious person, and I hate pretending to be "chill" just to fit in.

I thought my life purpose was to help humanity in some way but I've recently been so disgusted by average humans who stand for nothing and give all their praise to psychopaths. 

My one goal in life is to be enlightened, so I hope that I can read and meditate in my free time, but otherwise I'm waiting to die.

I don't think I'll be married, or have a family, or even friends like I once dreamed.

 

My life until now: bullied from late elementary school-> bullied in middle school-> bullied in high school-> fail to make any friends in college -> now unemployed

My life sucks and I give up.

[Joshe]

Joining the marines actually could be a good idea. I know a few guys who stuck it out for 20 years and now they’re basically retired at 40. They still work but they don’t have to. It made me think “shit, I should have joined the military.” 20 years will fly by. Plus, you’ll make friends in the marines. There’s also the benefit of externally imposed life structure. A lot of people want to wake up at 5am but can’t. When you’re in the marines, you don’t have a choice. It’ll definitely grow you. 

[Jodistrict]

You are going to be bullied in boot camp.   You may want to look at that part of you that is seeking out an environment where it can be bullied even more.

[LordFall]

@Joshe Way better ways to gain structure and discipline than to sell yourself to a corrupt authoritarian organization. 

@machinegun How deeply have you worked on the principles on this forum in terms of introspection and meditation? Have you taken psychedelics? What about specifically 5-meo-DMT and something like(not a psychedelic) MDMA?

Sounds like you need a mystical experience to make you experience some divine love to set you on the right path. Or in less woo woo terms you need a fucking W my guy otherwise life is just draining and depressing I agree. How is your life purpose doing not some vague bs like helping people but if you were a genie that could manifest your perfect exact dream life, how close are you in % to achieving in today and what's stopping you?