TRIGGER WARNING, Uncomfortable experience about Dating

[Miguel1]

3 hours ago, cistanche_enjoyer said:

Realistically, what’s the probability of finding a girl like that + that there is some attraction  going on?

I’d argue very very low. Like winning a lottery ticket.

I’d argue very low as well for someone truly attractive to have similar values to us here in the community.

Especially as they have not had to develop themselves too much, precisely due to their looks. Especially when they are young, and mostly they are young.

Also, I have been spoiled with really attractive girls due to years in game, so that makes it extra hard to settle with ”less attractive” girls.

[nerdspeak]

1 hour ago, Miguel1 said:

@nerdspeak You make great points.

I am getting quite tired of the general approach style as well, and I’m looking to niche down more and more.

How do you do that, other than via apps?

How would one go about niching down in real life? Clubs are probably mostly out of the question for people like us?

I live in a big city in northwest Europe, one of the most "green" cities in the world with several million people, multiple universities, and a decent gender ratio. That helps a lot. 

With dating apps, I share a lot of information about my interests and what I am looking for. I get few matches, but those I match with usually want to meet up. I am fairly selective about who I go on dates with from those matches. Like, I screen a fair amount unless their profile already signals likely compatibility. 

This is very different from my approach in my 20s, where I wrote one vague sentence in the profile to signal "fun" vibes and suggest dates with anyone physically attractive, pretty much right away. 

With IRL dating, I work with a large public institution, so I have an enormous number of colleagues in my age range. There's no strong policy against dating colleagues as long as you're not their boss, and it's so big that if it doesn't work out, we won't see each other much afterwards. Plus, I am cool with all my exes. I am not going to do things to cause drama, and even if the woman tries, I don't feed into it, so it's low-risk. I also attend conferences and other professional networking events through my job, which expose me to women with similar values and interests.  

[Miguel1]

@nerdspeak Great, thanks for sharing!

Which country you live in? I live in Finland.

[nerdspeak]

@Miguel1 I'm in Belgium 

[Miguel1]

27 minutes ago, nerdspeak said:

@Miguel1 I'm in Belgium 

Lets meet up when I one day come there.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

@Miguel1 @nerdspeak

I do not have anything to add, but I thought it prudent to note; I always enjoy your discussions and contributions regarding conscious relationships.

I haven't come across any literature or great speakers who were able to speak on the topic, especially as it relates to modern social dating norms. 

I am sure they exist, I just haven't heard anyone expound upon the topic in a way that really illuminated it.

These discussions, especially the ones around the male side of pickup, always have my mind munching away at new ideas, ways of looking at things, and ways I can improve as a woman. We can all get closer to conscious romantic relating and embodiment through them.

Trailblazers.

So, thanks! 

Edited 2 hours ago by Natasha Tori Maru

[Miguel1]

@Natasha Tori Maru I appreciate it.

Yes, conscious dating is something we definitely need to work on more and properly create for humanity.

It is a passionate topic of mine as well.

To be honest, most people alive right now are too immature and unconscious to be seriously dating.