Thoughts on multi-generational living?

[Basman]

Historically the norm, but since post-war there has been a period where it became the norm to move out as soon as you gained financial independence and for the general population to atomize, but now it is becoming more common again for adult children to live with their parents due to the economy and all. Historically, independent living is a luxury to a certain degree.

I find this exciting because it feels like nature is healing in a way. The atomizing of society has had certain negative effects and eroded much of its community. There are a number of important and significant things that multi-generational living can provide, such as stronger bonding, stronger financial and social resources and support for raising children, taking care of elderly, etc. Divvying up responsibilities can get those people really good at their responsibility, like a traditional housewives in the old days could be extremely good cooks (not saying that we should go back to traditional gender roles by the way or to the same capacity). Apes together strong basically. When everyone has to survive on their own as independent units, we're overall less effective socially compared to communal cooperation. My hope is that multi-generational living could help prevent certain social issues, such as the mental health crisis, the elderly crisis, and preventing overstretching healthcare, housing and other social goods. Overall, people will be effectively more self-sufficient which frees up more resources.

In our modern age, we have forgotten how to survive without relying on faceless institutions. Historically, we survived communally by pooling our resources and assigning responsibilities. A degree of communal living could make society much more effective, healthier and happier and help insulate against institutional failure/collapse, like elderly neglect at big senior homes or economic downturn. Communes is how humans survive in the absence of a government taking care of their survival after all.

Western and especially American culture is very independent though (America also has a lot of land) and it's no longer a given that work is locally accessible, a big reason why people move away from their families. We don't exactly build houses for multi-generational living and we have higher standards than Cambodians. We're not all going to be sleeping in one giant bed in a tiny living room if we can afford otherwise. It would demand greater interpersonal and communication skills and certain personalities are not built for it or get along with their family like that. If you don't want to play the game you shouldn't have to.

Culture is probably the biggest barrier to accessing this social strategy in the absence of economic restraint.

[aurum]

I think it's more problem than healing.

Calling it "multi-generational communal living" is a stretch. It's really younger adults dependent on older ones. The dependency is asymmetric and reflects the fact that younger adults in particular are struggling to provide their own survival. This creates resentment, stifling and lack of groundedness in younger adults.

 

[LordFall]

I agree with @aurum that it's more reminiscent of codependency rather than powerful interdependency.

It's important for young people to have the independence and sovereignty to be able to survive in the world without the help of their parents and family. They should still hold ties with their community but in a voluntary fashion not because the global economy is collapsing for middle class and lower class folks. 

[Basman]

15 minutes ago, aurum said:

I think it's more problem than healing.

Calling it "multi-generational communal living" is a stretch. It's really younger adults dependent on older ones. The dependency is asymmetric and reflects the fact that younger adults in particular are struggling to provide their own survival. This creates resentment, stifling and lack of groundedness in younger adults.

 

6 minutes ago, LordFall said:

I agree with @aurum that it's more reminiscent of codependency rather than powerful interdependency.

It's important for young people to have the independence and sovereignty to be able to survive in the world without the help of their parents and family. They should still hold ties with their community but in a voluntary fashion not because the global economy is collapsing for middle class and lower class folks. 

That's just the economic reality of it currently and a bit besides the point. Being able to afford your own house is a luxury. It's a cultural expectancy based on post-war economics that made it normative to buy your own home. The more time passes, the further we move away from the economic golden age of the boomers. You expect and value independence maximally like it's a given. There's a good chance that's your culture speaking.

Just try to consider the benefits for second. A lot of our social problems are due to a lack of social connections. 

Edited 2 hours ago by Basman

[Basman]

To clarify one of my arguments, I think too much social atomization is dysfunctional societally and politically. It strains resources and makes people lonelier. It's antithetical to how humans are built.

[aurum]

17 minutes ago, Basman said:

You expect and value independence maximally like it's a given.

No.

What's expected is that a younger generation of healthy adults should not be asymmetrically dependent on their aging parents.

The parents are still independent and in control. Why do they get to own their own home?

17 minutes ago, Basman said:

A lot of our social problems are due to a lack of social connections. 

This does not solve that. It just creates enmeshment. 

Edited 2 hours ago by aurum

[LordFall]

1 hour ago, Basman said:

 

That's just the economic reality of it currently and a bit besides the point. Being able to afford your own house is a luxury. It's a cultural expectancy based on post-war economics that made it normative to buy your own home. The more time passes, the further we move away from the economic golden age of the boomers. You expect and value independence maximally like it's a given. There's a good chance that's your culture speaking.

Just try to consider the benefits for second. A lot of our social problems are due to a lack of social connections. 

I don't understand your point and who it's speaking to. You're saying if you can't afford to move out good and take it as an opportunity for community building? I mean sure but also work on a business and empower yourself economically so you're not codependent and lacking independence.