Character fatigue

[Olaf]

I have been for the longest time trying to be as authentic as possible and the more I am interacting in the world, the more I realise that a character, personality, that isn't authentic or semi authentic draws in people way more. That makes me feel performative, rather then transparent, I know that I already can't be transparent as too many truths trigger the mainstream people, so I have to filter everything and dumb everything down to their level, then on top of that create this type of character and only then do I have people resonating with me. I feel authenticity in that way is a scam, cause unless you are very unconscious, being conscious and authentic makes you resonate with no one. 

Putting on this character almost makes me feel like a split personality, the one I show to the world, versus the one that I am at home, because the one I am at home, no one resonates with. This makes me feel very split in a bad way, in the sense that character. I feel the solution might be accepting that this is the reality, but I somewhere still have hope for an alternative reality although that feels very unlikely. 

What are your thoughts on this? Do you struggle with this fatigue of putting on a character or being authentic instead and having no one resonate with you?

[Natasha Tori Maru]

34 minutes ago, Olaf said:

I have been for the longest time trying to be as authentic as possible and the more I am interacting in the world, the more I realise that a character, personality, that isn't authentic or semi authentic draws in people way more. That makes me feel performative, rather then transparent, I know that I already can't be transparent as too many truths trigger the mainstream people, so I have to filter everything and dumb everything down to their level, then on top of that create this type of character and only then do I have people resonating with me. I feel authenticity in that way is a scam, cause unless you are very unconscious, being conscious and authentic makes you resonate with no one. 

Putting on this character almost makes me feel like a split personality, the one I show to the world, versus the one that I am at home, because the one I am at home, no one resonates with. This makes me feel very split in a bad way, in the sense that character. I feel the solution might be accepting that this is the reality, but I somewhere still have hope for an alternative reality although that feels very unlikely. 

What are your thoughts on this? Do you struggle with this fatigue of putting on a character or being authentic instead and having no one resonate with you?

Do you think there is a possibility you are too focused on yourself and this 'character' when out and interacting with the world?

I ask as your paragraph leads me to think you are quite concerned with how you are perceived by others. This can lead to us crafting an appearance in an attempt to control others reactions toward us. Naturally this will stunt authenticity. People are very sharp at intuiting when others are repressing. 

It might be worth digging into what could be underlying unconscious belief or thought.

Is it so bad, if people do not like us? Does that say anything about us, or more about them?

We cannot please everyone. Cannot be liked by everyone. Obviously there are some habits and ways of being that are offensive; abuse, racism etc. But if we are just talking about general character, often we are looking too much for external approval.

Maybe some more context might help - is this inquiry relating to romantic relations/social/family/professional?

[Alexop]

I personally try to avoid deep philosophical and political conversations especially with new people. Or I just go into some generally accepted topics. My very authentic self loves talking about this Leo stuff. But I also have a fun part of myself that connects and enjoys social interactions through joking, laughter, all sorts of activities. People nowadays are quite weak emotionally and can avoid you if you are disagreeable with them. Try to find other versions of you who feel authentic but do not include opinions, statements etc. that might trigger people. 

I have a big message on my wall which says: "know and don't tell". Another "silence is gold". If I don't have anything reasonable to say, I just shut up. If I can have fun, I will. If I cannot have fun in any way with some people, I stop seeing them.

[Olaf]

@Natasha Tori Maru I agree that partly validation is important not in the sense that I can´t stand rejection, rather that my success relies upon others validation to a great extend as a performer, youtube creator where I am aiming to shoot for I wouldn´t say virality, but greater exposure, it seems hard to not care about that at all. To answer your question, this is mainly related to me trying to make it in carreer. I guess, because that is where I am trying to focus on social skills for, to help me create in a way that resonates with others, but in doing that I feel split between how I naturally am and how I feel I have to be in the world. Hope that makes sense.

[Olaf]

@Alexop Yes, I think we are quite similar in that respect. When I was younger, I used to talk about spirituality with people, my girlfriend, all of this Leo stuff, but I quickly learned that people, or at least the people I was talking to, didn’t resonate with it at all and often got triggered. Since then, I’ve completely avoided spiritual topics. I think you’re right that there are other parts of authenticity that aren’t related to that topic or other triggering subjects. Although it may be a bit superficial, it’s still interesting to lean more into that type of authenticity. Food for thought, thank you for sharing. Would you say you feel fulfilled being like this? In other words no character fatigue?

[Natasha Tori Maru]

6 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@Natasha Tori Maru I agree that partly validation is important not in the sense that I can´t stand rejection, rather that my success relies upon others validation to a great extend as a performer, youtube creator where I am aiming to shoot for I wouldn´t say virality, but greater exposure, it seems hard to not care about that at all. To answer your question, this is mainly related to me trying to make it in carreer. I guess, because that is where I am trying to focus on social skills for, to help me create in a way that resonates with others, but in doing that I feel split between how I naturally am and how I feel I have to be in the world. Hope that makes sense.

Oh wow thank you - this is additional context that changes a lot!

Will think on this.

Other users might find your addition above useful also

[Ramasta9]

20 hours ago, Olaf said:

I have been for the longest time trying to be as authentic as possible and the more I am interacting in the world, the more I realise that a character, personality, that isn't authentic or semi authentic draws in people way more. That makes me feel performative, rather then transparent, I know that I already can't be transparent as too many truths trigger the mainstream people, so I have to filter everything and dumb everything down to their level, then on top of that create this type of character and only then do I have people resonating with me. I feel authenticity in that way is a scam, cause unless you are very unconscious, being conscious and authentic makes you resonate with no one. 

Putting on this character almost makes me feel like a split personality, the one I show to the world, versus the one that I am at home, because the one I am at home, no one resonates with. This makes me feel very split in a bad way, in the sense that character. I feel the solution might be accepting that this is the reality, but I somewhere still have hope for an alternative reality although that feels very unlikely. 

What are your thoughts on this? Do you struggle with this fatigue of putting on a character or being authentic instead and having no one resonate with you?

I can relate and i know it can be challenging, but i have traveled a lot, mostly around my country (Australia) and I know there are places out there with far more conscious people where you can feel safe to truly be yourself, and this then can help be yourself more in other areas like cities and more mainstream places where people are generally far less conscious and Awake, shall we say. It can be extremely disheartening and exhausting not being your truest self all the time and i often struggle with this more with my family than others, cause you are always a son/daughter to them, especially your parents. its definitely something you can put into practice more, not holding back as much, releasing by physical activity and dance and meditation and whatever helps you feel more yourself, then interacting more with the world.

You don't want people who are attracted to your masks, they won't be nourishing for your soul, you want those who are drawn to your true nature, that's what the world and you need. That's what moves mountains and changes lives, that's also what heals and supports us. 

We all need environments and spaces where we can feel safe to be truly and unlimitedly ourselves.

[Olaf]

@Ramasta9 This intresting for sure, I love to dance sometimes I dance even a bit crazy in clubs, cause it feels authentic and people are shocked by it. But when I let my unfiltered self speak that makes most people leave rather triggered hahaha. I guess I am just very honest if I am unfiltered. Its funny, but also a bit sad sometimes, because when I am actually very much less authentic most people in my city seem to resonate much more. I think finding your tribe as you said, places where you can be authentic, beautiful, but sometimes also it is important to be effective with communicating with people outside of that. As you said with your parents, but also in success. In fact I would say its part of becoming successful or atleast that is my belief. Feel free to question my assumptions. 

[Ramasta9]

15 minutes ago, Olaf said:

@Ramasta9 This intresting for sure, I love to dance sometimes I dance even a bit crazy in clubs, cause it feels authentic and people are shocked by it. But when I let my unfiltered self speak that makes most people leave rather triggered hahaha. I guess I am just very honest if I am unfiltered. Its funny, but also a bit sad sometimes, because when I am actually very much less authentic most people in my city seem to resonate much more. I think finding your tribe as you said, places where you can be authentic, beautiful, but sometimes also it is important to be effective with communicating with people outside of that. As you said with your parents, but also in success. In fact I would say its part of becoming successful or atleast that is my belief. Feel free to question my assumptions. 

That's cause most city people are far from their authentic selves, your authentic self disturbs the masks they wear and the darkness they suppress with alcohol, drugs, junk foods, sex and other forms of escapism.

I would look into natural or spiritual gatherings or festivals, vision quests, sweat lodges, hiking groups, yoga events ect... you tend to find more conscious people there. I haven't been clubbing since i was 19. I was turned off after a few trips, plus too much alcohol and ego-driven fights my friends would get into, i rather enjoyed the local pub with more mature people and oldies. Mature women loved me and found me intelligent and could actually communicate with them, younger girls found me ugly and weird, probably cause I was too real for them. 

For me real success is inner-peace and freedom, everything else is secondary and just another idea of success.

I believe Bashar said it best: If you don't feel successful, then redefine success.

 

 

 

 

[Olaf]

@Ramasta9 Yes, this is very true, we could have a whole discussion on success, but that is a bit off topic. I would say I should seek a little bit more community, because even tho there is allot wrong with most spiritual people, I would say I resonate much more with them, then lets say, your average person at the club. And it would balace maybe everything out. I see your walking very much a path that resonates with you socially, I can respect that. Thank you for sharing.