Character fatigue

[Olaf]

I have been for the longest time trying to be as authentic as possible and the more I am interacting in the world, the more I realise that a character, personality, that isn't authentic or semi authentic draws in people way more. That makes me feel performative, rather then transparent, I know that I already can't be transparent as too many truths trigger the mainstream people, so I have to filter everything and dumb everything down to their level, then on top of that create this type of character and only then do I have people resonating with me. I feel authenticity in that way is a scam, cause unless you are very unconscious, being conscious and authentic makes you resonate with no one. 

Putting on this character almost makes me feel like a split personality, the one I show to the world, versus the one that I am at home, because the one I am at home, no one resonates with. This makes me feel very split in a bad way, in the sense that character. I feel the solution might be accepting that this is the reality, but I somewhere still have hope for an alternative reality although that feels very unlikely. 

What are your thoughts on this? Do you struggle with this fatigue of putting on a character or being authentic instead and having no one resonate with you?

[Natasha Tori Maru]

34 minutes ago, Olaf said:

I have been for the longest time trying to be as authentic as possible and the more I am interacting in the world, the more I realise that a character, personality, that isn't authentic or semi authentic draws in people way more. That makes me feel performative, rather then transparent, I know that I already can't be transparent as too many truths trigger the mainstream people, so I have to filter everything and dumb everything down to their level, then on top of that create this type of character and only then do I have people resonating with me. I feel authenticity in that way is a scam, cause unless you are very unconscious, being conscious and authentic makes you resonate with no one. 

Putting on this character almost makes me feel like a split personality, the one I show to the world, versus the one that I am at home, because the one I am at home, no one resonates with. This makes me feel very split in a bad way, in the sense that character. I feel the solution might be accepting that this is the reality, but I somewhere still have hope for an alternative reality although that feels very unlikely. 

What are your thoughts on this? Do you struggle with this fatigue of putting on a character or being authentic instead and having no one resonate with you?

Do you think there is a possibility you are too focused on yourself and this 'character' when out and interacting with the world?

I ask as your paragraph leads me to think you are quite concerned with how you are perceived by others. This can lead to us crafting an appearance in an attempt to control others reactions toward us. Naturally this will stunt authenticity. People are very sharp at intuiting when others are repressing. 

It might be worth digging into what could be underlying unconscious belief or thought.

Is it so bad, if people do not like us? Does that say anything about us, or more about them?

We cannot please everyone. Cannot be liked by everyone. Obviously there are some habits and ways of being that are offensive; abuse, racism etc. But if we are just talking about general character, often we are looking too much for external approval.

Maybe some more context might help - is this inquiry relating to romantic relations/social/family/professional?

[Alexop]

I personally try to avoid deep philosophical and political conversations especially with new people. Or I just go into some generally accepted topics. My very authentic self loves talking about this Leo stuff. But I also have a fun part of myself that connects and enjoys social interactions through joking, laughter, all sorts of activities. People nowadays are quite weak emotionally and can avoid you if you are disagreeable with them. Try to find other versions of you who feel authentic but do not include opinions, statements etc. that might trigger people. 

I have a big message on my wall which says: "know and don't tell". Another "silence is gold". If I don't have anything reasonable to say, I just shut up. If I can have fun, I will. If I cannot have fun in any way with some people, I stop seeing them.