Relearning Life After a Psychological Awakening. looking for guidance.

[Shawn Philips]

I grew up without father and buillied in school. The way you are is partly temperament, partly survival mechanism.

Temperament ( innate)

shy

sensitive

introverted

high social awareness

These traits were always there.

Adaptation (learned)

social inhibition

avoidance

freeze/withdrawal response

emotional constriction

hyper-monitoring to avoid trouble

Our brain never learned :  “I can be myself and still be safe with others.”

Trying to force extroversion is not healing, it’s reenactment. Healing is being introverted without fear running the show.

[Pox]

18 hours ago, cetus said:

@Pox I don't know if your familiar with the guitar player/song writer/performer Billy Strings but I watched an interview of him earlier today. And in it he said he grew up in a household of musicians who partied and did drug a lot. His parents and their friends were doing a lot of meth. And he said he realized he had to get out of that environment and leave it behind or else he was going to either end up in jail or be killed. Sounds like it was a pretty rough bunch. Well anyhow, I wanted to share with you what he said about how he now approaches life:

"I'm going through a part in my life where I'm looking through the windshield instead of in the rearview. It's a renewal, like a new day, morning light, a spider molting, or a snake shedding its skin. Now I'm just along for the ride."
 

i love that quote, thank you

21 hours ago, cetus said:

I hear ya. I'm well aware of N.J. Outdoors and Jarrod Tocci

i dont know those but i know trent the traveler

[Pox]

7 hours ago, Shawn Philips said:

I grew up without father and buillied in school. The way you are is partly temperament, partly survival mechanism.

Temperament ( innate)

shy

sensitive

introverted

high social awareness

These traits were always there.

Adaptation (learned)

social inhibition

avoidance

freeze/withdrawal response

emotional constriction

hyper-monitoring to avoid trouble

Our brain never learned :  “I can be myself and still be safe with others.”

Trying to force extroversion is not healing, it’s reenactment. Healing is being introverted without fear running the show.

thank you

[Pox]

 

On 12/26/2025 at 4:07 AM, Leo Gura said:

Just small practical baby steps, done consistently each day.

You need to build up micro-momentum and macro-momentum. You do this by consistently executing and taking action. Daily, weekly, monthly, yearly. Starting small is key, so you don't overwhelm yourself. Set small practical goals for yourself and then just execute without thinking.

Get out into the world more, do more physical activities like socializing face to face. Force yourself to go to bars, clubs, social settings every week, consistently.

Don't try to do everything at once. That won't work. You need to break it up into small, concrete steps you can take each day and week. For example, a concrete step is to go out to a bar/club at least 2 nights a week. It doesn't matter where. It doesn't matter if you talk to a girl or not. Just at least build the habit of physically leaving your house and entering a bar and staying there for at least 2 hours. There is no reason you can't do that. After you succeed at that, then your next goal will be to talk to 5 girls per night. And so on.

Hard to answer this. I integrate insights why driving around in my car and contemplating for hours. I don't worry about thought loops or ego identification at all. I just contemplate and things work themselves out in the long run.

Your focus needs to be on truth, not you. Your contemplation is for having insight into truth and reality, not just stories you tell yourself.

I did not read anything in your post that shows an Awakening has happened. You had some personal insights into your own life. That is not Awakening. That's just insight into your personal life. Awakening is not about your human life story.

1) You need to begin a serious project of mastering basic survival: job/career, dating, socializing, fitness, diet, etc. These are all practical skills you can learn and they require no deep philosophical insight. You can buy online courses and books that teach you all those skills. Then just execute. But you can't do all those areas at once, that is too overwhelming, so you need to decide on some priorities.

2) Don't dwell on the dysfunction of society. That is irrelevant. Society has always been dysfunctional. Just focus on your life purpose, doing beautiful work, developing yourself, dating, fitness, self-education, training skills, business, spiritual practice like Kriya yoga, etc. Stop thinking about anything that isn't constructive to the betterment of your life. if it is not helping you achieve a goal, stop thinking it. Only think of things that help you achieve positive goals.

3) There is no point in worry about the ego. Just do spiritual practices like Kriya yoga, self-inquiry, meditation, and psychedelics. This will handle the ego in the long-term.

At your age worrying about the ego is pretty silly. Focus on mastering basic survival and keep a spiritual practice going in the background.

thank you Leo