Teal Swan's course "The Financial Mastery Vault"

[blankisomeone]

I'll post this here instead of in Teal's platform because for some reason I trust actualized.org more lol

I'm trying out Teal Swan's course "The Financial Mastery Vault".

I'll share some stuff here. I welcome you to chip in with your perspectives, personal experiences and ideas as well. No need to be taking the course yourself.

The course is filled with guided meditations designed to take one deep into the "sub"conscious mind and unlock some patterns. There's also a workbook with questions so you can write down your insights and how your experience went. It's supposed to be a 9-week journey. Let's start with the introduction today.

-- DAY 1: COURSE INTRODUCTION --

1. What is your primary intention for this journey? What specific shifts or outcomes do you hope to achieve?
    •    I don't know, I just want to try something... I want to just complete the course and see if anything good and insightful comes out of it. I feel so frustrated and I just want quick results, to be honest. I want this course to help me unlock something in me, whatever it is, that will catalyzed my journey. Ok, I get it that everything great requires effort and shouldn't be expected to go "easy". But honestly I feel that there's gotta me something in me specifically that isn't normal in terms of keeping me stuck for this long. There must be some truths in the world of money-making that I feel that if I ACCEPT will get my journey to even start. I'm very hopeless, honestly. I just want to complete this course and see what happens. The shift I'm hoping to achieve is somehow getting from CONFUSION to CLARITY, from INACTION to ACTION, from FEAR AND DOUBTS ABOUT THE PROCESS to TRUST AND OPENESS TO THE PROCESS. I want to release all this anxiety relative to money and work. I want to release feelings of entitlement like the idea that I should have whatever I want now. Or that I SHOULD just have money regardless of X, Y, Z, like regardless of the fact that I'm not providing unique, high-quality value to anyone

2. What is your current relationship with abundance, and how does it feel in your life right now?
    •    I can't fully trust that "abundance" is a reality. Most of the times it feels like wishful thinking. It feels to me that abundance is inconsistent, sometimes we kinda have it, other times it gets taken away, and when it gets taken away we're left with the truth: just a barren landscape, the abundance period was illusion. Emotionally it's like I'm in a desert. Very despairing. I also wanna say I have no relationship with "abundance". I hope this answers the question? Idk how to do these types of activities that explore our "inner world". I'm just trying here. Not even sure what "a relationship with abundance" means.

3. Reflect on the patterns, beliefs, or experiences that have shaped your current state of abundance. Which ones feel supportive, and which do you feel ready to release?
    •    I don't know how to answer this... What does all of this mean? Does it mean like abundance-feeling experiences I've had throughout my life? Like the Internet gives me access to an abundance of information. Flying on an airplane in a window seat gives me the experience of seeing the abundance of houses making up a city. Is this what is meant by "experiences that have shaped my current state of abundance"? Like experiences that support the idea that abundance is possible? Or like growing up I've had so many experiences of hearing my parents argue about money. It's like money was never enough. While at the same time, they'd be throwing parties, buying a car, building an inground pool. So it was always very confusing to me growing up. DO we have money or NOT? Cuz on the one hand y'all are filled with worries over money, while on the other hand having all of these expenses? Idk, it's all very confusing to me. Oh here's also a list of beliefs I have about finances in general

• I'm too ugly to make money
• My reputation is too tarnished to market myself as a serious value provider, I'm already perceived as lazy and unreliable
• If I make money, I'll crash later and it will suck
• To make money, I'll have to lose fun and be serious
• To make money, I'll have to sacrifice my health by working long hours and then get sick so what's the point of pursuing something that'll just make me sick
• To make money, I'll have to sacrifice the pursuit of connection like friendships and so I might just end up alone
• The system itself is just rigged. The more I learn the more I'll become aware that it's all just currupt and rigged
• If I actually succeed in making money, I'll be hated and envied by those who can't and that's like... most people. So I don't want to be hated
• Creating wealth = creating illusion, because we have to keep upkeeping it constantly. The REALITY is poverty and starvation, that is the default structure of life on Earth
• I've heard a lot about how if I'm gonna make money I have to make myself visible, put myself out there, market myself and my skills. But there's a big part of me that is afraid of being seen, afraid of competition, afraid of rejection, etc
• I just have a meek, weak, small personality. Not much of a go getter type
• To make more money I'll have to engage in some shady shit. I just absolutely don't want that crap.
• There are no legitimate ways to make money ethically.
• Also, look. If most people in our society believe that having lots and lots of money is THEE solution to all of our problems, then if I do succeed in having lots of money, but still have a bunch of emotional pains and dysfunctional patterns, and I express my pain, people won't take it seriously because as long as I have money everything should be peachy, you know? So it's like that saying, idk if you have it in English, but in Portuguese it's that saying "crying with your stomach full." Like if you have an abundance of physical resources you shouldn't be crying. So that's a big invalidation of other problems in life that finances alone doesn't fix. So why pursue something that'll just make me feel misunderstood and invalidated by most of my social group? At least if I remain poor together with everyone, at least it's a pain we all share so I'm not 100% "alone"
• For me to win, others have to lose. Life is a zero sum game. There's just not enough to go around. And I don't participate in that game

I'll have to challenge all these beliefs. I know some of them COULD turn out to be silly. But I don't know yet they are

etc...

4. From your current day perspective, what would it look and feel like to live in full alignment with abundance? How might this version of your life transform your experiences, relationships, and sense of self?
    •    It would feel like my mind would be free from worries of not having enough so I can actually just live my life. It would feel like I can breathe. Like I can have free time. Like I can have fun. Like I can slow down. That would be nice. But is this possible? Probably not, idk. We'll see. It would feel like a life free from the burden of constant anxiety and emotional and physical starvation and stuckness. It would feel like I can easily fulfill my desires in life, I don't know. It would feel like my routine wouldn't have be to filled with activities that feel like drudgery to me just so I can make the minimum amount of money to survive through the month. My mind would feel more free somehow idk

Tomorrow is day 2 and I'll lock myself in my closet in the dark and try her meditation "resolving your financial blockage".

I'll come back and write about how that experience went if I don't die.

Edited Sunday at 01:30 AM by blankisomeone

[Bjorn K Holmstrom]

Your anxiety about money isn't pathology - it's pattern recognition. You're sensing that the system structurally produces scarcity while demanding you maintain psychological abundance. That's not a bug in your consciousness; it's an accurate read of contradictory incentive structures.

The question isn't "How do I align with abundance within this system?" but "What systems of exchange actually enable care to circulate?" You've already listed the real constraints: health sacrifice, relationship trade-offs, corruption. These aren't limiting beliefs - they're design flaws in current economic architecture, the inevitable result of a financial monoculture that only values extraction.

Consider: What would change if your community had a parallel currency that recognized care work, ecological restoration, mutual aid? Not as mystical manifestation, but as engineered protocols that make visible and liquid the value you're already creating?

The real spiritual economic abundance isn't transcending the need for fair systems - it's recognizing that just systems are spiritual technology, and consciousness work that ignores this builds towers on sand.

[Ishanga]

19 minutes ago, Bjorn K Holmstrom said:

Your anxiety about money isn't pathology - it's pattern recognition. You're sensing that the system structurally produces scarcity while demanding you maintain psychological abundance. That's not a bug in your consciousness; it's an accurate read of contradictory incentive structures.

The question isn't "How do I align with abundance within this system?" but "What systems of exchange actually enable care to circulate?" You've already listed the real constraints: health sacrifice, relationship trade-offs, corruption. These aren't limiting beliefs - they're design flaws in current economic architecture, the inevitable result of a financial monoculture that only values extraction.

Consider: What would change if your community had a parallel currency that recognized care work, ecological restoration, mutual aid? Not as mystical manifestation, but as engineered protocols that make visible and liquid the value you're already creating?

The real spiritual economic abundance isn't transcending the need for fair systems - it's recognizing that just systems are spiritual technology, and consciousness work that ignores this builds towers on sand.

This is correct and well written,,

The problem with these course is that they make it about fixing You, which in some sense is correct, but lots of what is wrong is with the systems we have in place as Bjorn has stated above..

We have tons and tons of Abundance, but we are brainwashed into believing we live in a state of Lack, therefore You feel Incomplete and suffer it, and then try to buy your way out of it if you can via cloths, cars, houses, trips and BS like this, if you don't have this ability you feel worse because you compare yourself with others.. this pattern is also brainwashed into you too so that they can profit off of You..

Don't buy into this stuff, just make Yourself Peaceful of your own nature, then most all of it is fixed...

[Joshe]

Fear is a model of expected harm. The model only updates when experience contradicts the model. Trying to use cognition for major updates doesn't work.

To remove fear, you have to make it non-existent by not feeding the signal. This is solved by having aims other than removing the fear or "fixing yourself".

You can't remove your fear if your objective is to remove fear, because that would be to amplify the very signal you want to eliminate. If fear isn't the main character, it doesn't get fed the attention that keeps it alive. You have to be interested in something beyond yourself.

The nervous system learns that the thing isn't dangerous by noticing you're not treating it as dangerous.

Edited Friday at 06:27 PM by Joshe

[Bjorn K Holmstrom]

1 hour ago, Ishanga said:

This is correct and well written,,

The problem with these course is that they make it about fixing You, which in some sense is correct, but lots of what is wrong is with the systems we have in place as Bjorn has stated above..

We have tons and tons of Abundance, but we are brainwashed into believing we live in a state of Lack, therefore You feel Incomplete and suffer it, and then try to buy your way out of it if you can via cloths, cars, houses, trips and BS like this, if you don't have this ability you feel worse because you compare yourself with others.. this pattern is also brainwashed into you too so that they can profit off of You..

Don't buy into this stuff, just make Yourself Peaceful of your own nature, then most all of it is fixed...

I resonate with this deeply. I spent two years without money, living off the land and scraps, and found exactly that peace you describe. When you unplug from the comparison game, the lack disappears because the present moment is usually sufficient.

However, I've come to believe there is a trap in stopping there.

While we can train ourselves to be at peace in a harsh system, we shouldn't have to.

If we only focus on making ourselves peaceful, we risk becoming tolerant of systems that grind others down. It's easy for us to say 'just detach' when we are healthy and single; it's much harder to say that to a single mother working three jobs who can't feed her kids.

My view is: Do the inner work to find peace, but use that peace to build systems that don't require extraordinary spiritual strength just to survive.

We can walk and chew gum at the same time: Detach from the brainwashing of consumerism, but actively redesign the economic plumbing so it stops generating artificial scarcity.

[Ishanga]

7 minutes ago, Bjorn K Holmstrom said:

I resonate with this deeply. I spent two years without money, living off the land and scraps, and found exactly that peace you describe. When you unplug from the comparison game, the lack disappears because the present moment is usually sufficient.

However, I've come to believe there is a trap in stopping there.

While we can train ourselves to be at peace in a harsh system, we shouldn't have to.

If we only focus on making ourselves peaceful, we risk becoming tolerant of systems that grind others down. It's easy for us to say 'just detach' when we are healthy and single; it's much harder to say that to a single mother working three jobs who can't feed her kids.

My view is: Do the inner work to find peace, but use that peace to build systems that don't require extraordinary spiritual strength just to survive.

We can walk and chew gum at the same time: Detach from the brainwashing of consumerism, but actively redesign the economic plumbing so it stops generating artificial scarcity.

Yes for sure totally agree. But before we can act and make change we must establish our BEING, that is we are at Peace within naturally no matter what is going on.. Peace doesn't not mean detachment or no action, its just an Emotional Stability of sorts, plus when Your at Peace you gain Clarity, you can see Reality as it is, not filtered by wanting, needing, or lack of any kind, then via that you go out and perform action and DO, that can mean making change in the world and betterment for all around You.. Without Peacefulness in your experience, your Ego will rise up, your internal suffering will take over whenever challenges/problems arise and then you go off course because You own wellbeing is at stake, that doesn't work..

So create the stable base by which Your actions produce the most Empowerment not only for You but everyone around you and the world itself! 

[blankisomeone]

Ok, so let's go, there's 3 lessons per week.

WEEK 1 - Clearing the path to financial flow

LESSON 1 - Resolving your financial blockage guided meditation

So in this meditation, Teal's voice will guide me into my subconscious mind where I'll ask to be shown what internal blockages are keeping me stuck when it comes to finances. Why don't I have enough of it? Why do I hate talking about money so much? Why is there so much frustration in the pursuit of it? Let's find out I guess. This guided meditation is supposed to be done multiple times, as there can be many blockages. Today's the first time I'm doing this, let's see. I sat in the closet in the dark and followed the meditation.

Questions in the workbook post-meditation:

1. What specific financial block or metaphorical image emerged for you during the meditation? Describe its shape, form, or presence.

• While in a meditative state, I asked to be shown what my internal block is to finances. The first image I saw was me trying to swim towards the shore, my hands out in front of me trying to reach for something, but the strong current kept pulling me back. The second image I saw was me sitting alone in my room in the dark at night, with my parents' spirits/presence surrounding the room. I also saw the image of an electric fence around me keeping me protected, anything that touches it gets burned.

2. What insights did you uncover about the origin of this blockage? Reflect on where and when this belief or energy might have taken root.

• I don't know, I didn't quite pay attention to that part. I did get images of childhood. Being constantly grounded by my parents as a parenting method. Not being able to leave my room, being powerless to doing anything about it.

3. What feelings or resistance arose while exploring this blockage? How did you respond to these emotions?

• I felt a bit of fear, some hesitancy to exploring it. Some doubts as well "Is this even leading me anywhere?" "Is this exercise even doing something for me or is it just silly?" "What's happening?" I didn't give these emotions too much attention, I just let them sit there, sort of on the sideline, and tried to focus my attention instead on the object of exploration at hand.

4. What steps or actions did you intuitively sense needed to happen to resolve this blockage? Reflect on how those actions unfolded in the meditation.

• The first thing that surfaced for me was the feeling that something had to happen in that scene, the one that appeared to me in the darkness of my room, with my parents hovering outside. I sensed that I needed to dig a hole into the ground that led outside and crawl through it. I had to leave the "ghosts" of my parents behind, leave behind the internal image I have of them, of them being my "protectors" and "providers" and the bearers of the truth of the correct way to make finances work; maybe they're not the best. I just needed to leave the darkness of my room and get outside. I didn't know what would happen after that. But I had to get out.
• Regarding the image of being pulled back by the ocean currents, I needed someone to grab my hand and help pull me out.

5. How did it feel to imagine this blockage resolved? What sensations or emotions arose in your body when the block was removed?

• I imagined myself crawling through that hole and leaving the house. I found myself outside. On the street. Looking out into the road. I felt so much grief. I started sobbing uncontrollably. I felt alone. I felt like betraying the image I had of my parents. I felt empty. So the sensation I had was one of deep grief and sadness. Some fear as well, not knowing who to turn to or where to go. Teal said that this reaction is okay and can happen sometimes.

6. What is one practical step you can take in your daily life to align with the feeling of financial freedom you accessed during this meditation?

• I don't know. Perhaps I have to get out more, stop isolating myself. I guess this would help me feel more "free"? Perhaps I have to think differently about finances than my parents have always thought

_________________________________

I also feel the need to get clear on what financial freedom means to me exactly. What do I want?
______________________________

Edited Sunday at 04:44 PM by blankisomeone

[hyruga]

Read books like Spiritual economics or Ask and it is Given. 

It's funny how a spiritual leader come up with a financial course. She will pivot to spiritual science of money.

[blankisomeone]

WEEK 1 - Clearing the path to financial flow

LESSON 2 - Redefining Work and Abundance

So here Teal is helping out a guy that wants to stop going to work at the office everyday. So she asks him like, ok, what you lack is basically a feeling of passion for what you do, so what's your dream? Whayever it is. Think huge. He says he wants to buy land in Costa Rica, build his home there, and earn a living planting trees, but he doesn't know how to do that. He doesn't have the money for it.

Teal asks him what's so painful about doing something you don't particularly like at the moment at the current job that you're at, to make money, knowing that that dream is what you're headed towards? My first response is that I'm sacrificing present happiness for future happiness... Should I adopt that mentality or...? Maybe this is the concept of delayed gratification? The patience that I need? [...] Sometimes I feel, though, that if I'm doing a job right now just to make money to do something else, I feel like that's lying to the people I'm working for, you know what I mean? Like here I am showing up everyday, putting in the work, but PSYCH! peace out. I just did it to save money to do something else, bye. And that's just not right? Idk.

She says something like, paraphrashing here, if you KNOW that you wanna buy land in Costa Rica, if you've decided that that's what you want and you don't have the money for it, then you still have options, it's not like the dream always has to necessarily die in "I don't have money for it." You can borrow it. You can get someone to give it to you. You can move into somebody else's land. Or you can make that money some other way. There's a bunch of options that you can chase all at once, actually.

Then Teal does that thing where she "takes on the aspect of the other person that's in the way of them getting what they want." This guy has an internal aspect that has decided: "There's only one way I want to get money: by it being given to me. I don't want to do any work for it. I just want it to drop on my lap." And this aspect is completely closed off to any other possibilities, especially the idea of putting in work and effort.

--- WORKBOOK ---

I'll finish this later. Gotta rush to work.

1. What was Teal's advice for someone feeling stuck and wanting to pursue their passion?

• A) Wait for inspiration to strike
• B) Stick to their current job and save money
• C) Begin exploring unmet needs they could fulfill
• D) Focus solely on manifesting wealth without action

2. What does Teal emphasize as a major block to manifesting abundance?

• A) A lack of financial literacy
• B) Restricting the universe (God) to provide abundance in only one way
• C) Not working hard enough
• D) Believing that abundance is undeserved

3. What limiting beliefs or fears have kept you feeling trapped in unfulfilling work or financial situations?

"Negative loyalty patterns" to my current work. Like I want to stay loyal to coworkers, managers and bosses, and would feel guilty for pursuing something greater than what I already have.

The belief that there's nothing else outside of what I already have that's possible for me.

Valuing security and hiding over novelty, new possibilities and visibility.

4. How does the idea of opening yourself to new possibilities for abundance challenge or expand your current thinking about earning money?

There's only 1 way, and 1 way only, that I know how to make money. There's only 1 way that I am confident that I can AT LEAST bring in minimum wage: working a 9-5 job, doing something I can at least do good enough at, under the Brazilian CLT labor laws. Stocking shelves at a grocery store, working cash registers, typing in numbers into a spreadsheet. That's all I can barely bring myself to somewhat poorly do at the moment.

So that fixed mindset is what's getting challenged right now.

Like I can chase multiple sources of income at once? Totally new idea for me. Can't even begin to imagine how I'd set up my life for that in a way that doesn't corrupt me or ruins my health.

The idea that I can use "passion" and "doing things I like" itself as a path to financial success? Sounds nice in theory.

5. If you were to fully embrace your passion as a path to financial success, what is one courageous step you could take to begin aligning your actions with this vision?

First of all, I'm a bit depressed, apathetic, etc. The emotion of "having something I'm passionate about" is outside the realm of possibilities for me at the moment. I mostly have a negative view of life, people and situations. I don't enjoy the idea of positive thinking and focusing on the positive aspects of life because it feels like denial of the negatives, but perhaps this is something I should try.

• I enjoy language learning, and maybe teaching, a little bit.
• I enjoy thinking, contemplating, deep studies.
• Could I make thousands a month by perhaps providing simultaneous interpreting services? How long is it gonna take for me to hone that skill? It's pretty tough. I'd need to get comfortable with public speaking. I'm terrible at it.
• I enjoy sleeping and dreaming. Could I learn about dream interpretation and the psychological aspects of dreams and then help people navigate their dream state? And then earn tens of thousands a month just doing that?
• I like some aspects of traveling a little bit. Could I make a solid living out of that?
• I enjoy making people laugh when I'm feeling at least 5% better than what I usually feel and my sense of humor is surprisingly still present. Can I restore my faith in life at least a little bit so as to start developing more of my sense of humor and earn a living with that?
• I enjoy writing a little bit. I enjoy writing like structured essays where one paragraph connects to the next which connects to the next which leads to a nice conclusion at the end. Can I make a living with this?

I also need to fix the situations in my life that are making me depressed. Depression and apathy and an overall negative view of life is sucking the joy out of what once were my "passions". I sit here and look at every single item on that list and come up with reasons why those things aren't even that enjoyable anyways. My depressive mood is profoundly coloring every aspect of life.

WHAT COURAGEOUS STEPS COULD I TAKE?

Courageous step = a step that could potentially lead to some pain and fear, at least momentarily

Quit my current job and commit to a "passion" fully? Somehow make it work without having my job as a plan B? Some people could suggest that, but I'm not willing to do that right now. I want a financial security blanket that I'm building for myself so I can avoid the unbearable anxiety that will come up as a result of quitting right now. My parents would go nuts if I walk into the house announcing I'VE QUIT MY JOB  No plans? Nothing? Yeah, I don't wanna just do this without a sane strategy in place.

What other potential steps could I take?

The courageous step of PICKING A FREAKING DOMAIN out of the ones I've listed and FOCUS ON IT, and train it, knowing that even though I give it my all, there is still the possibility of "well... guess this isn't REALLY what I wanted... I'm not even getting better maybe I'm not even good at it... and I've put in all this wasted time" and then having to deal with the negative emotions around that. But then again, isn't that what I'm already living through? It's already happening.

Or some other step, I don't know..

Edited Sunday at 04:13 PM by blankisomeone

[blankisomeone]

3 hours ago, hyruga said:

It's funny how a spiritual leader come up with a financial course.

@hyruga What do you mean? Why is it funny? Funny as in it makes you laugh, or? Genuinely wanna know what you're referring to because it made me confused

Edited Saturday at 05:38 PM by blankisomeone

[blankisomeone]

23 hours ago, blankisomeone said:

Teal asks him what's so painful about doing something you don't particularly like at the moment at the current job that you're at, to make money, knowing that that dream is what you're headed towards? My first response is that I'm sacrificing present happiness for future happiness... Should I adopt that mentality or...? Maybe this is the concept of delayed gratification? The patience that I need? [...] Sometimes I feel, though, that if I'm doing a job right now just to make money to do something else, I feel like that's lying to the people I'm working for, you know what I mean? Like here I am showing up everyday, putting in the work, but PSYCH! peace out. I just did it to save money to do something else, bye. And that's just not right? Idk.

I asked a friend of mine what he thinks of what I wrote above and he said something that got me thinking:

Quote

So what do I think of this? It's dramatic and making a problem out of nothing. Most people would quit their jobs if they had enough money to do so, including their bosses. Making money is a part of being human. If you want to eat, you need to work. Experience the delayed gratification. If your job really sucks or isn't a good fit, find a new one. The job you have right now..... it was never meant to be your "career." I told you to take this job to get money while you work to find a job that's a better fit. Having this job is better than sitting in your room alone while you listen to your parents argue and pressure you and while your own guilt fills in that you are not contributing to the world around you but are only consuming. Consuming someone else's electricity, water, food, and consuming porn. [...] When I had my full-time job, I felt a little guilty because during that same year, I was applying to seminary. At my job, I was being trained to perform different tasks. They spent the year training me spending time and money, but then I left. Maybe they COULD'VE been upset with me, but they weren't. They supported me. They had my back. They wrote me letters of recommendation.  They kept me hired part-time on my vacations. They wanted me to be happy and succeed.

 

Edited Sunday at 02:55 PM by blankisomeone

[blankisomeone]

WEEK 1 - Clearing the path to financial flow

LESSON 3 - The Needs Balloon Meditation

The needs balloon meditation is a guided visualization type meditation where Teal helps me relax my body and then imagine that I step into a room where there's a bunch of different colored balloons floating around. Inside of each balloon there is an image that represents a need of mine. My job is to walk up to a balloon, press my face against it to see what's inside, untie the knot, bring the tip of the balloon to my mouth, and breathe in the contents of that balloon into my being, imagining that that need is getting met and fully satiating me,

The first balloon I reached for showed the image of a bed inside. A very cozy bed, in a very cozy looking room. This represented rest for me. I really need rest. Restful sleep. I need it very badly. I'm struggling with some breathing problems at the moment because of septum issues and sinus allergies which make it very difficult for me to sleep soundly through the night. It's a source of a lot of stress and fatigue for me. I really need rest. I breathed in the contents of that balloon and imagined what it would feel like to finally be able to sleep and have restful nights. It would feel pretty nice. My mind would be more clear. I'd be able to think more clearly. Perform much better at work. And relate better with people because I wouldn't be so grumpy from being so tired all the time. Gosh, I really need this. I should see doctors about this issue.

The second balloon I reached for showed a nice looking forest with clean fresh air. I breathed it in and imagined what it would feel like to have my lungs fully filled up, making me feel safe, awake and more alert.

The third balloon showed one of my coworkers instructing me on how to perform some tasks. This represents for me the need for instruction. The need for someone to be patient enough to be with me, to teach me, to coach me, patiently.

The fourth balloon showed that same coworker, but outside of the workplace, just hanging out. He felt a feeling of brotherly love for me. This represents precisely the need for brotherly love and companionship. I breathed in that balloon and imagined what it would feel like to have the need for a trustworthy friend met.

The fifth balloon showed me and another coworker of mine talking with each other without conflict. Our minds were connected and our communication was clear and fluid, without misunderstandings. This represents for me the need to hear and be heard, to understand and be understood. I breathed in that balloon and imagined how satisfying it would feel to reach that state in my relationships.

There's a tight correlation between money and needs. You provide a need for people, and they pay for it. It's quite simple. If you have money, it becomes much easier to have acccess to certain things you need. You can practice your skills and be a balloon for someone that needs what you have to offer. As an exchange, you get compensated with money so you can trade it for other needs that you might have on the road to fulfilling your desires in life.

The amount of money you have today is a reflection of how easy or hard it is and has been for you to reach for the things you need and feel properly satiated. Especially in childhood

I guess that's the gist of this meditation.

At the end of the meditation I visualized myself walking out of that balloons filled room, leaving behind a bunch of other balloons that I can come back to later to explore and breathe in the contents of. And then I opened my eyes.

-- WORKBOOK QUESTIONS --

1. What insights did this meditation reveal about your relationship with your needs and desires? How do you typically respond to them in daily life?

I respond to them with mistrust. I can't fully trust that the source of the things I'm getting my needs met from are healthy and that they'll be provided with consistency. There's also a fear of losing what I have and having to go through that whole grief type emotional experience. Also feelings of shame for fulfilling my needs and desires, like I'm not really meant to have them? Feels like I'm doing something wrong for some reason.

2. What is one way you can honor or fulfill one of your identified needs or desires in your everyday life this week?

Here are the needs I've identified today:

• Resftul restorative sleep
• Clean fresh air
• Instruction and coaching
• Brotherly love and companionship through friendship
• Being heard and understood / hearing and understanding in my relationships

Let's begin with restful, restorative sleep this week.

I did some research and here are some things that could potentially help me that I'll try this week:

• Keep a regular sleep-wake routine. Wake up at the same time everyday. Even on weekends.
• When I wake up, go outside and get some sunlight. At least 5 to 10 minutes.
• Keep room at a cool temperature
• Be a bit more physically active throughout the day.
• Stay away from screens and all sorts of artificial lights at least an hour before bed.
• Create a wind-down routine. Maybe listen to some calm music or white noise.
• Avoid intense conversation, problem-solving, doom-scrolling or late-night productivity if possible
• If you can’t sleep after 20 minutes in bed, get out of bed, do something calm, return only when sleepy
• Go to the doctor and get a screening for sleep apena
• Go to the doctor and check if a perforated septum surgery is possible for me to fix up my nose
• Try out nasal strips
• Try doing some emotional processing to release feelings of anger/irritation/annoyances... because I've heard these are known for physically manifesting as allergy flareups. And grief/sadness/depression for sinus.

Edited 23 hours ago by blankisomeone