How risky is pursuing passion instead of security at 25?

[Monke]

Unfortunately my first attempt to break free of wage slavery failed.

I was actually making decent money and was able to develop sufficient self-guidance and discipline to successfully operate the business (I was not nearly as disciplined before starting) but my complete disdain for the work itself caused me to burn out completely. The business was a solo operation providing remote AutoCAD services to land surveyors. The problem is that I absolutely hate CAD work. It is completely the wrong line of work for my personality and the last 3 years of my career I've spent doing it have led to severe depression. I find the work dull, meaningless, and repetitive.

I was trying to use the skill I already knew to "brute force" my way out of wage slavery. Which was foolish in hindsight but I didn't know better at the time. 

I'm now faced with a crossroads in my life that I'm not sure how to navigate. The thought of going back to a corporate engineering firm/office environment like where I've spent the last few years toiling and miserable fills me with absolute dread. Not only does the work suck, but I find a lot of the people in those sorts of environments to be unrelatable and, with all due respect to them, quite dull. They are often people who have been beaten down by wage slavery themselves and have simply given up hope. I want my 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, or 6th attempt at escaping wage slavery (or however many fucking times it takes) to be set up for a higher degree of success and alignment with my values. 

I've been smart with my money and was able to get college paid for with a high ACT score, I have a degree to fallback on and no debt currently. No expenses other than rent, utilities, car insurance, a few other minor things. 

Although I have a lot of interests, I have only 2 real passions in life: music and plant/psychedelic medicine, particularly mushrooms (I'm a bit of an amateur mycologist lol) 

I'm starting to build a vision for what I want my future to look like and it involves me continuing to be an active musician and building a business that provides me financial and location freedom but also has a strong positive impact on the world. But I feel like I need to place myself in VASTLY different environments than I have been in throughout my career thus far in order to clarify this vision enough and develop myself enough to take meaningful action towards it. 

So I basically have two options:

1. Work another engineering/AutoCAD related 9-5 for the security and "never having to worry about money" aspect while being forced to spend 40-50 hours a week in environments that will only offer me the same shit I've been exposed to for the last 3 years. Could potentially save startup capital for my next business doing this but I doubt that I would be able to develop a long term vision for an authentic and viable business model here. I worry this would lead to more misery, another desperate bid to "brute force" my way out of wage slavery, and ultimately ending up right back where I am now. 

It's worth emphasizing that my years spent in traditional jobs like this have had a significant negative impact on my mental health to the point of being on the verge of a complete breakdown multiple times. The repetitive, dull work is bad by itself but the worst part is the general disdain for ambition and "wanting more from life" that comes from the lifelong employee types in these environments. No disrespect to these people whatsoever but the forced mediocrity that comes from being trapped in these environments is even more depressing that the grinding, meaningless work itself. 

My family is very "art isn't a real job" and "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" so I tried to do the right thing by being realistic about my passions, working hard on academics and getting university paid for, and getting a safe job where I could work hard and do okay for myself. Unfortunately I'm just not that type of person no matter how hard I try and the thought of passively accepting a life of wage slavery as though it's just "what you do" has always been just utter insanity to me. It's led to a lot of tension because my family does not understand why I can't simply be grateful to have a job.

I feel like something has to change for me or I will go genuinely fucking insane being caged like an animal. Which brings me to..........

 

2. Work a couple of part time jobs and a side hustle to continue developing business skills. For example I could work at a music store a few days a week and this gourmet mushroom company in my city a few days a week (or maybe a cannabis related job although the mycology thing is what i'm most excited about. It's possible cannabis is actually a better "way in". Idk.). I am building a side hustle teaching guitar privately online that supplements my income as well. The whole idea here is that for the first time in my 25 years I would actually be in an environment or two that suits my values and offers an arena for the personal growth and connection with other people who aren't already dead inside that I am desperately craving. 

I'm sure these jobs will suck in their own way, inevitable shitty pay aside, but my thinking is that it at least gives me the opportunity to connect with like minded people and clarify my long term vision for my life and business and not feel as much like a caged animal pushing a boulder up a hill every day doing meaningless technical work. The obvious trap here is getting stuck in low wage jobs long term which is mainly what i'm concerned about. The entire idea of this would be to clarify my vision and then take massive action to begin building my next business with all of the insight I would have gained here. The disadvantage here would be the lack of ability to save money consistently for startup capital. Although if you gave me 50k right now I would probably start some stupid fucking agency business that wouldn't work which is sort of the point of needing to make a counterintuitive move here to develop that "authenticity" muscle. It feels like I don't know who I am fully as a person let alone as a businessman.

My intuition is basically screaming at me to do this and not even consider option 1. But everyone in my life considers option 2 to be "failure" and "what losers do" which doesn't make sense to me at all. In my opinion if anything the opposite is true. I'm probably somewhere on the spectrum as well which I feel might explain my complete lack of resonance with my family on this issue among many others lol.

So wondering if anyone here has any thoughts on this? I want to make a mature decision here that will lay the best possible foundation for not just a successful future but a happy one. If anyone has any suggestions or things I may be overlooking I'm all ears. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Shakazulu]

@Monke you’re doing good at 25, don’t take your degree and skill for granted. You have a route to continue making great money. 
unless you have a concrete plan to make money from art ( if that’s your plan ) 

then keep using your degree. The artistic path is just gonna take you on an internal journey, sure you’ll meet more liberal/alternative thinking people then who knows what will happen but your just gonna get experiences unless you find a way to make money. 
 

take it from me, I completed Leo’s life’s purpose course at 19, I spent the last 8 years busting my ass to actualize it, after all that I’m going back to school to learn a trade but who knows maybe your different.