Conformity video - My experience

[WonderSeeker]

First of all Leo, thank you for the most comprehensive explanation of this almost universal human pattern I've ever seen. It's so pervasive, it's akin to breathing air.

To pay back the value, I want to briefly share my recent experience with conformity in my own life on this sub-forum.

3 weeks ago I moved from the U.S. to South Korea. Immediately I saw my mind picking up on gross and subtle signs of what this culture values and how it behaves. 

I laughed at your example of the Japanese handing others items with both hands instead of just one, because that's also a common custom here. Although, it's more the old generation that cares about such things, showing that the culture is evolving with time (albeit from one conformist habit to another!)

In my own experience I took note of the insane beauty standards and fashion trends here. In some of the busiest parts of the city I'm living in, Daegu ( 대구), 1 in 4 people there (especially the ladies) look like they could be magazine models. 

Since moving here I've already spent 180,000₩ ($125) on new clothing. Granted, the clothing I replaced was 3-6 years old and starting to wear. But still I see the effect the culture has had on my mind to some degree and my desire to fit-in/embrace it, depending on which lens you use.

In any case, I'll give myswlf the benefit of the doubt. My decision to go out and update my wardrobe was at least 70% conscious as I wasn't in a crazy hurry to do so. I still haven't watched K-pop or K-drama yet and don't really care if people think my style is out there (after taking Julien Blanc's TM Mentoring recently I've become much more confident and care-free in my skin).

Anyways, if you've read through I'm curious... in what ways have you confirmed in recent days, weeks, or months?

Cheers!

Edited Sunday at 04:18 PM by WonderSeeker

[enchanted]

Good example. Why did you move to South Korea?

[WonderSeeker]

3 hours ago, enchanted said:

Good example. Why did you move to South Korea?

Gut feeling.

3 years ago I stayed in Mongolia for 6 weeks, and not a day has gone by since without me dreaming of moving to east Asia. This part of the world is so fascinating and has so much potential for growth. Also my own growth is speeding up here, because I feel passionate about life again. 

That's why.

[Miguel1]

Thanks for sharing. Good self-awareness!

For me, it must be dating as I recentl started going out to meet people and date again.

And good riddance! It’s an unconscious and conformity-filled cesspool!

It is almost perfectly correlated that the more conscious and mature you behave, the less results you get. And vice versa.

My God, I have matured too much in the past 5 years to be playing this game for long.

[WonderSeeker]

On 11/4/2025 at 1:15 AM, Miguel1 said:

Thanks for sharing. Good self-awareness!

For me, it must be dating as I recentl started going out to meet people and date again.

And good riddance! It’s an unconscious and conformity-filled cesspool!

It is almost perfectly correlated that the more conscious and mature you behave, the less results you get. And vice versa.

My God, I have matured too much in the past 5 years to be playing this game for long.

Hahaha bro, I get you on the dating end!

I'm not attracted to most ladies even if they're physically "hot."

It's the way they present themselves and act that turns me off.

Honestly, I think it's best to pick one gem out of the dirt and keep it.

No bother in chasing "hot" or "perfect."

[Miguel1]

@WonderSeeker Yup.

I am definitely very picky with whom I decide to even go on a date with. I will screen quite hard for their ability for more maturity.

Edit: btw: have you heard of demi sexuality? I have been considering whether I have developed it in recent years.

Edited Wednesday at 01:32 PM by Miguel1

[WonderSeeker]

On 11/5/2025 at 10:25 PM, Miguel1 said:

@WonderSeeker Yup.

I am definitely very picky with whom I decide to even go on a date with. I will screen quite hard for their ability for more maturity.

Edit: btw: have you heard of demi sexuality? I have been considering whether I have developed it in recent years.

Yes, actually did some research into it the other day.

I think I've had it for a long time tho.

What signs are you seeing in yourself?

Edited 14 hours ago by WonderSeeker

[Miguel1]

@WonderSeeker

I have had sex with many girls. In my younger years, I was excited about it but as I got more and more of it, and also matured more, I just couldn't get an erection anymore, even tho I had a beautiful girl in my bed.

I remember beating myself up for it. And it is not performance anxiety, as I am very confident in my sexual skills since I have been sexually active all my adult life and have proactively worked on improving it. It just feels extremely mechanical, repetitive, and meaningless.

I remember the most toxic thing I did regarding this I believe was one time I couldn't get it up, and I had to in the middle of it, take a "toilet break" just to go watch some of my favorite porn to get it up and go back to get started. But truly, all these sexual experiences were awful. Feels too transactional and that I am only treating the girl as a sex object, rather than a vibrant human being.

Contrast this to having sex (make love) with a girl I actually like, and more importantly, Respect and Value on a deeper level than just the surface beauty. Suddenly, I am always fully turned on near her, and I can have sex with her all day, even if she is not the most beautiful girl. The attraction and pull I have towards a girl I adore vs a girl I only see as a shell is like 100X difference.

I need to be really into a girl emotionally to truly desire her. I need the girl to be one I love spending time with, rather than just want to kick them out immediately after I come.

Here is a more in-depth story I recently wrote on how I figured my desire for connection, and how it also fixed my ED.

Another thought that came to my mind is that my home is a deeply special place for me. I have very carefully and with deep love made it a sacred place for me, with lots of meaning, beauty, experiences and art. Bringing a random hook up whom I couldn't care less about to my divine place feels like a complete self-betrayal. Most of these stage orange materialist girls most likely even finds my home weird. It is a complete misalignment. My home is too beautiful for them!

On a more general note, it feels like I am allowing unconsciousness to enter my being when I have shallow, random, transactional hook ups.

I think it all just boils down to having a sexual experience with a girl from a place of ego and unconsciousness vs conscious authentic self. 

It does strongly seem like I have developmental demi sexuality (not necessarily fully developed tho), since I wasn't always like this (innate). I have always been a deeply caring and empathetic person tho, but it has increased dramatically throughout the years.

What about you?

P.S - way to go off the trail of the original thread lol. But since others didn't wanna share their experiences, might as well 

Warning: I am at a place where I am, at a relatively young age, most likely only because I was blessed with looks and a naturally very charismatic personality. Plus of course a ton of developmental and spiritual work. Lots of people reading this, should not be modeling after this. You should exhaust your ego desires. Be the devil as much as you need to be, and don't condemn it, otherwise you will turn into an even bigger devil: spiritual devil!

Edited 4 hours ago by Miguel1

[Butters]

On 3-11-2025 at 9:11 AM, WonderSeeker said:

Gut feeling.

3 years ago I stayed in Mongolia for 6 weeks, and not a day has gone by since without me dreaming of moving to east Asia. This part of the world is so fascinating and has so much potential for growth. Also my own growth is speeding up here, because I feel passionate about life again. 

That's why.

That's a fantastic and inspiring answer. 

[Human Mint]

That's the beauty of traveling right there, it is like visiting a zoo. I just traveled outside once to Sicily and the contrast is interesting, to say the least.

But really after the video I was suddenly picking conformity everywhere, and I still am. Mostly on myself, is like I catch myself more easily. And also I think you can derive some meaning conforming to the right things. Just like the example of NASA, there may be a spark of creativity in a group which is something I value a lot. That's why you always need to be more conscious than the rest.

[WonderSeeker]

5 hours ago, Miguel1 said:

@WonderSeeker

I have had sex with many girls. In my younger years, I was excited about it but as I got more and more of it, and also matured more, I just couldn't get an erection anymore, even tho I had a beautiful girl in my bed.

I remember beating myself up for it. And it is not performance anxiety, as I am very confident in my sexual skills since I have been sexually active all my adult life and have proactively worked on improving it. It just feels extremely mechanical, repetitive, and meaningless.

I remember the most toxic thing I did regarding this I believe was one time I couldn't get it up, and I had to in the middle of it, take a "toilet break" just to go watch some of my favorite porn to get it up and go back to get started. But truly, all these sexual experiences were awful. Feels too transactional and that I am only treating the girl as a sex object, rather than a vibrant human being.

Contrast this to having sex (make love) with a girl I actually like, and more importantly, Respect and Value on a deeper level than just the surface beauty. Suddenly, I am always fully turned on near her, and I can have sex with her all day, even if she is not the most beautiful girl. The attraction and pull I have towards a girl I adore vs a girl I only see as a shell is like 100X difference.

I need to be really into a girl emotionally to truly desire her. I need the girl to be one I love spending time with, rather than just want to kick them out immediately after I come.

Here is a more in-depth story I recently wrote on how I figured my desire for connection, and how it also fixed my ED.

Another thought that came to my mind is that my home is a deeply special place for me. I have very carefully and with deep love made it a sacred place for me, with lots of meaning, beauty, experiences and art. Bringing a random hook up whom I couldn't care less about to my divine place feels like a complete self-betrayal. Most of these stage orange materialist girls most likely even finds my home weird. It is a complete misalignment. My home is too beautiful for them!

On a more general note, it feels like I am allowing unconsciousness to enter my being when I have shallow, random, transactional hook ups.

I think it all just boils down to having a sexual experience with a girl from a place of ego and unconsciousness vs conscious authentic self. 

It does strongly seem like I have developmental demi sexuality (not necessarily fully developed tho), since I wasn't always like this (innate). I have always been a deeply caring and empathetic person tho, but it has increased dramatically throughout the years.

What about you?

P.S - way to go off the trail of the original thread lol. But since others didn't wanna share their experiences, might as well 

Warning: I am at a place where I am, at a relatively young age, most likely only because I was blessed with looks and a naturally very charismatic personality. Plus of course a ton of developmental and spiritual work. Lots of people reading this, should not be modeling after this. You should exhaust your ego desires. Be the devil as much as you need to be, and don't condemn it, otherwise you will turn into an even bigger devil: spiritual devil!

Wow dude you have tons of sexual experience. Pat on the back for that! I've had like 6 at age 27 (missed out on another 5 or so due to the "demi" factor for sure. 

But of course, body count is a stupid human game. Depth matters as much, if not more. So, my 6 feels like 30; and whenever I am with a new partner it's like I get the experience of 5 lays in 1 hahaha. Being an HSP has its perks (because, intensity).

Anyways, it sounds like you've made quite a transformation. I too value having a beautiful space, though I've never fully actualized one as I'm constantly moving cities (I value geographic novelty pretty hardcore being in my 20s still).

Now I understand why the pool feels so limited for you. There aren't many out there who value beauty. Or, they over-value overstimulation, hype, materialism, and consumerism. (Having just moved to the 3rd largest city in Korea I've noticed a huge materialist culture. So finding my ladies here will be quite a fun challenge, haha.)

P.S. - The reason I call my demi-sexuality more innate is because, over the years I've taken girls home or gone to their places on several occasions and either sex didn't cross my mind, or it did, but I got confused about why my body wasn't feeling it alongside the mind. Happened when I brought a girl home from high school (parents not home). Happened after clubs in Miami (went up elevator with 2 Latinas, but lost attraction after they got in a cat-fight). Happened after a homemade dinner date with college chick at her place... sat in her bed and we looked at each other and my brain said 'yes', but my body was like "no, even though idk why." And another time in college... same thing.

P.S.S. - Yeah there's a ton of watchers on here. They watch the videos as fans (or even read the forum in the same way), but don't like actually self-reflecting and sharing for some reason.

[WonderSeeker]

3 hours ago, Butters said:

That's a fantastic and inspiring answer. 

Simplicity = Beauty , my friend

1 hour ago, Human Mint said:

That's the beauty of traveling right there, it is like visiting a zoo. I just traveled outside once to Sicily and the contrast is interesting, to say the least.

But really after the video I was suddenly picking conformity everywhere, and I still am. Mostly on myself, is like I catch myself more easily. And also I think you can derive some meaning conforming to the right things. Just like the example of NASA, there may be a spark of creativity in a group which is something I value a lot. That's why you always need to be more conscious than the rest.

Yeah exactly. I think the main point is to conform consciously.