What is this thing we call "Romantic Love"?

[bazera]

Hey, I want your input on something I've been contempating.

After the breakup I've experienced recently, I was thinking on this thing we call romantic love, what do we really mean exactly when we tell eacher other "I love you?" Have you ever wondered that?

I mean, I loved my girlfriend, but now I should not because we are no longer together (I hope it takes time to fade away emotions). But what was the substance and the reasons behind that emotion when it was present?

I think it was a combination of physical attraction, lust, companionship, partnership, helping each other in every way, friendship, attachement, a way of satisfying needs (inc. emotional), and god know how many other things that I'm not even aware of atm.

In the modern culture this love is portrayed as something selfless or if you have a partner, and you think that this emotions can be recriated with other people simultaniously, you are somehow a bad person, but don't we all recreate the feelings after a breakup with new people? 

It has a veneer of selflesness but it's so fucking selfish. 

What do you think?

Edited September 26 by bazera

[Schizophonia]

Wanting to make someone exist.

[Yimpa]

 

[Jannes]

Back then I was able to feel romantic attraction simply from a girl looking good. Now when a girl looks good and has a cool personality I feel some romance. Romance is just the satisfaction you experience for someone who helps your survival agenda in a certain areas. Probably sexual and emotional yeah. 

[bazera]

@Jannes

Quote

Romance is just the satisfaction you experience for someone who helps your survival agenda in a certain areas. Probably sexual and emotional yeah. 

I agree, and that fades away after some years, and it requires rekindling after a while, if both parties are willing to put in the effort.

Also, I'd add, being in that experience of satisfaction creates an attachment, that then makes you wanna try to rekindle stuff if emotions fade.

I've had a girlfriend who thought that if a relationship needs an effort, it doesn't meant to be. But I don't know what does that even mean, nothing is "meant to be". 

[bazera]

@Schizophonia

Quote

Wanting to make someone exist.

Could you elaborate?

[Schizophonia]

23 hours ago, bazera said:

@Schizophonia

Could you elaborate?

Masculinity is about being nothing, that's why men tend to be dominant sexually or in general in life because why would you want, be exited to the idea of being dominated/reduced when that's already your normal state, you can only want to go to where (you think) you're not already.

So, Valentin is not a subject; Valentin is nothing, and the rest is all that is most important.
From the warmth of my big black sweater, to the effect of nicotine, including the sight of an ass.
It's all about submitting to the big other, as Lacan would say.

Love is the impulse to make something exist, more of a symbol for men, and an imaginary one for women; even though technically we all live more or less across both orders.

Edited September 27 by Schizophonia