Is Dating Really Harder for Men Today — Or Just in Certain Environments?

[Basman]

Your biggest competitor is yourself. Dating and socializing is largely a psychological battle within yourself.

Most people aren't making too much of an effort and are just kind of drifting around. Some have personalities, looks and circumstances that align well with dating and stumble into good results, others less so. Anyone can improve their results with conscious effort, but just growing is in of itself valuable.

Even if your results are mediocre at best, you should still try because you'll become a better person by the end of it and closer to being in alignment with your values. Rage against the light, so to speak.

[Lila9]

Most men are not interesting to women because they don’t really put in the work to be.
Men have a privileged position in a patriarchal society with masculine values, which puts them in a comfortable position to begin with. 

This position of privilege and comfort ironically makes their character weaker, flatter, boring in the eyes of women, and more conformist to other men in order to preserve the system in which they have privilege. True nonconformity in men at the level so radical that questions the legitimacy of patriarchy is dangerous to this position of privilege.

Expecting women to want to be romantically involved with men in this patriarchal system is as absurd as expecting a poor man to like a greedy rich man. If there is any affection between the poor and the rich, it is not a healthy or natural form of it but survival mechanism.

Usually, men expect women to do emotional labor and cater to their needs without providing the same in return. This is called the empathy gap between men and women. Many men are completely blind to it. Additionally, there is also the orgasm gap, in which men think only about their sexual needs and see women as a device to fulfill them without considering women as beings with sexual needs as well. Again, many men blind to it.

This obviously alienates women from wanting to date men and making so many men undatable. 

Some men will do everything to avoid facing the root cause and would opt for even more alienating and unhelpful solutions like pickup, which is based on manipulating women. 
This makes it even more absurd, because here you don’t only expect the poor man to like the rich man who has taken everything from him, but also believe that what will make the poor like more the rich is to manipulate him further.

Instead, of simply distributing the power and wealth equally so men and women are in a truly egalitarian position to begin with, which was the natural order of hunter-gatherer society for the majority of human existence. 

But this already sounds like too much for the privileged. They don’t really want to lose power, they even want to gain more. Egalitarianism feels like a decrease in quality of life, which many men would not accept. They rather whine and blame women.

[Kid A]

5 hours ago, Lila9 said:

Most men are not interesting to women because they don’t really put in the work to be.

Bingo. Boys are raised to do basically nothing to become authentically attractive men, and we ourselves also do nothing about it. It even continues after we've become adults.

While girls grow up spending time together and talking with each other in ways that develop excellent social skills and deep friendships, what do boys do? Play video games. Maybe some sports... No wonder why our friendships are so flat, why we're needy as fuck and why we generally suck with women.

This needs to change.