My Game Awakening (Men/Masculinity Version?)

[Spiral]

@theleelajoker I get stun-locked, if a girl is nervous like that. I’m halfway through writing my phone number into her phone by the time I realize she likes me ”like that”. I think just I’m terribly sensitive in this regard.

[theleelajoker]

35 minutes ago, Spiral said:

@theleelajoker I get stun-locked, if a girl is nervous like that. I’m halfway through writing my phone number into her phone by the time I realize she likes me ”like that”. I think just I’m terribly sensitive in this regard.

Yeah man all part of the experience. Been there.

If you're sensitive, probably she's sensitive, too, you know? So it's not a bug, it's a feature  

What helped me to become less nervous and more authentic is realizing the oneness with everything and everyone, the connection that permeates all. Consciousness is aware of everything, so there's no sense in hiding anything. It's just a matter of "do I express or suppress it"? Of course, it's not a switch you just flip but a gradual process...

[Xonas Pitfall]

@Emerald @Spiral 

Thank you both so much! I really love how insightful, honest, and raw you are; this is soothing my inquisitive autism, hehe! ❤

Actually, I’d be curious to know how you see this post and if you notice any issues. I’m trying to make sense of these dualities…

 

I’ll probably be asking more questions surrounding this... I think I should eventually open up a discussion about female and male archetypal tropes and fantasies. It seems there’s something like the Jungian collective unconscious shared across genders surrounding these themes, something I don’t often see talked about that clearly.

[Xonas Pitfall]

5 hours ago, Spiral said:

 That I can change how she feels. 

I’ve heard this a lot, too! Elements of influence and a girl’s ability to be influenced seem commonly desirable. I suppose it’s partly about comfort or safety: "She likes me and is responsive to me, phew... good". Or maybe it has more egoic implications, seeing your impact on another person.

5 hours ago, Emerald said:

It's not so much that. In the past, relationships always came through my own social circle. 

I also think it’s about likelihood: when a random stranger approaches you just based on your looks, the chances of genuine compatibility are pretty low. But if someone’s already part of a shared social group, like through work or a mutual hobby, there’s a much higher chance of shared values or connection. It's "pre-filtered". So it makes sense that people would naturally prefer that.

[Emerald]

59 minutes ago, Xonas Pitfall said:

I also think it’s about likelihood: when a random stranger approaches you just based on your looks, the chances of genuine compatibility are pretty low. But if someone’s already part of a shared social group, like through work or a mutual hobby, there’s a much higher chance of shared values or connection. It's "pre-filtered". So it makes sense that people would naturally prefer that.

Exactly. I have had a few one night stands before too in my early 20s. And it was just so much less interesting because there's no feelings or emotional stimulation there. So, I can only imagine that women who get picked up by a pick-up artist are mostly looking for some brief fun but are less likely to consider them for longer term relationships. 

I just don't see why a woman would give a chance to a random guy if she already knows a bunch of guys from her social circle.

So, I would imagine that the divide of "men are most interested in pick-up as theirmain dating stragegy" and "women are most interested in finding a guy from her social circle as their main dating strategy" probably creates a difficulty for men.

[Spiral]

19 minutes ago, Emerald said:

So, I would imagine that the divide of "men are most interested in pick-up as theirmain dating stragegy" and "women are most interested in finding a guy from her social circle as their main dating strategy" probably creates a difficulty for men.

Well surly if either work, both win. And if neither work both lose.

If you only have say 5 guys in your social circle and none are not a fit for whatever reason. You’re stuck, you need to make new friends?

[Emerald]

5 minutes ago, Spiral said:

Well surly if either work, both win. And if neither work both lose.

If you only have say 5 guys in your social circle and none are not a fit for whatever reason. You’re stuck, you need to make new friends?

My experience of social circles have been more like a consistent interaction because of existing in similar spaces as dozens of people.

So, one would need to set up some kind of situation like that, where one is interacting socially with many people.

It's easier to do in school, where that's the default. But one could also get involved in social activities as well, where they interact with many people.

I recommend a meet-up group or something like that. Or take a class. Or go to church (if you'r religious).

Basically, find a context where regular meetings and socializing is already normalized. The goal is to build a circle of 150 acquaintances and a few close friends.

Most importantly, that's good for meeting basic human social needs (which is necessary anyway for psychological health). So, even if it didn't lead to a romantic relationship, it's important.

But it also gives a context where one can make the acquaintance of potential partners.

It's honestly the way that it's always been done. Our social contexts are a little threadbare now-a-days because of everything moving online. But it can still be done with a little legwork.

[MuadDib]

On 24/07/2025 at 0:52 AM, Xonas Pitfall said:

Why? *smiles* 

Feels warm, like stepping into sunlight after a lifetime underground, unseen, unheard, invisible. All men appreciate a genuine smile.