Your Favourite Resources On Relationships (Which Work Vs. Which Don't)

[Aaron p]

I'm looking for some hardcore, insightful resources or channels that go into what to look out for when deciding whether to try and build a relationship with someone.  Red/green flags and possibly even tests to identify whether a relationship with someone should be pursued...

 

 

YouTube channels, websites, articles, coaches, guides etc. 

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I'd love to hear about the psychological aspects of what makes for a good relationship and how to judge whether to invest in people as potential partners. 

 

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Here is some of the research I've been able to formulate thus far:

 

 

Key Psychological Aspects
 * Attachment Theory: Understand how your style (secure, anxious, avoidant) and theirs impacts the relationship.
 * Communication: Look for clear expression, active listening, empathy, and constructive conflict resolution.
 * Emotional Intelligence (EQ): Crucial for managing emotions and responding appropriately.
 * Shared Values: Essential for long-term compatibility.
 * Conflict Resolution: How disagreements are handled is vital. Look for a desire for understanding, not blame.
 * Respect & Empathy: Core for a strong bond.
 * Autonomy: Healthy relationships allow individual growth and shared connection.
 * Past Patterns: Clues to relational maturity.

 

 

Top Resources
 * The Gottman Institute: Research-based; see "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" or gottman.com.
 * Sue Johnson (EFT): Focuses on secure emotional bonds; read "Hold Me Tight."
 * Brené Brown: Insightful on vulnerability, shame, and empathy for authentic connection.
 * Dr. Ramani Durvasula (YouTube): Identifies red flags and unhealthy dynamics.
 * HealthyGamerGG (Dr. K - YouTube): Practical insights on well-being and relationships.
 * Esther Perel (Podcasts): Nuanced discussions on modern relationships.
 * Books: "Attached" by Levine & Heller (Attachment Theory); "Crucial Conversations" (communication).

 

 

How to Judge
 * Observe: Do actions match words?
 * Self-Reflect: Know your own needs and boundaries.
 * Intuition: Don't ignore your gut feelings.
 

 

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So, that's the list so far, I'd love some high consciousness relationship teachers, gurus, guides and coaches. Feel free to share your favourite love doctors 🩷

 

Thanks in advance ✌🏼

[Davino]

I like David Deida's books.

[aurum]

ManTalks is solid:

His whole channel is a good resource for building mature relationships from a masculine POV.

Edited July 6 by aurum

[aurum]

Courtney Ryan is also good to get a woman's perspective:

Take advantage of her fashion advice as well if you're older, she has experience in that area. 

Edited July 6 by aurum

[Lyubov]

To be honest, I have a different perspective on this. Instead of only focusing on FUTURE PROOFING yourself by taking in information you think you may need one day, give some attention to yourself and focus on what you believe YOU need to build a more harmonious relationship with YOURSELF. Because at the end of the day that is what is going to determine if your relationships go well or not, not some green flags or red flags you have been told about. Build this connection up with yourself which in a way builds up the skills needed to have a great relationship. The issue is we live in the unknown and there is an uncountable amount of scenarios you may encounter and there is no life manual that will prepare you for everything you will encounter with women. I'm not saying ignore dating advice. There is some wisdom out there, but I've found relationship issues are far less about being prepared for potential situations and more about how you are within. If you have a great relationship with yourself, you will by the law of attraction have a life that orders in a way where your relationships are right. So I would like to share with you information that is more about building the relationship with yourself. 

 

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides) 

by Marshall B. Rosenberg PhD 
 

Wu Wei Wisdom: https://www.youtube.com/@WuWeiWisdom


The Man's Guide to Women: Scientifically Proven Secrets from the Love Lab About What Women Really Want 

by John Gottman