Anyone Wanna Share Stories Of Dramatic Personal Changes?

[Zippie]

So I've had some success making gradual changes to myself and my lifestyle, but every time that I fall back to my old bad habits or make or make silly mistakes I start wonder if I'll ever actually be able to change myself for good.

If anyone could share examples of dramatic personal changes that they themselves or others have made, I think that could be a huge confidence/ spirit boost for me, and hopefully others as we continue on with our personal development journey. 

 

 

[Salaam]

I've changed in a lot of ways in my life...

• Physically I've dieted down from 260lbs to 148lbs and then built back up to 175lbs and elite status on the deadlift (lifting three times my bodyweight). Lol, I'm heavier and fatter then 175lbs now, but I don't mind.
• I used to destroy myself with self-prejudice because of how I looked... even when I lost weight the pain was still there. But, I cured and out-grew that self-prejudice so now, even though I'm not the fittest I've ever been. I truly love and enjoy who I am and what I look like. I can see where I can improve without feeling those knives of prejudice come out to tear me up.
• I've gone from a loner, kind of introvert nerdy kid, to an international drug importer and convicted felon whose fought 4 people at the same time and won, faced goverment agencies having me at gun-point, and plenty of other challenges and hardships.
• I've gone from being a convicted felon to a successful business manager who brought in over $14 million in contracts last year.
• I come from a family with a history of depression and essentially "cured" myself of it by out-growing the connections depression uses to internalize within us (been over 3 or 4 years since I've felt it and I deal with a lot of stress and challenge).
• I've gone from my previous past, of being an over-weight loner to now being a man who is deemed to be very attractive to women and very capable with seduction. My Wife couldn't be happier and so many women tell me that they use me as the standard for deciding what kind of guy they want to build a relationship with. My Wife and I were even given a radio show to talk about the success of our relationship.
• I've gained a high self-efficacy with all 9 kinds of intelligence, when before I was only above average with logical and linguistic. 
• I've slowed my body and pace down to such a level of calmness and deep stability, that people can feel the contrast as soon as they touch me.
• I've gone from having no passion to an abundance of it
• I've gone from not caring about life at all, to caring so much that I feel a deep responsibility for the world and humanity around me.
• Sex... oh my god. Lol, my orgasms have changed so much over my life.

 

Man, there is so much I could write here. Change is a slow process, it's like digging yourself out of a 10 foot hole with a toothpick, but that toothpicking also has momentum and a snowball effect to it, the deeper and farther you go. Plus, the more you grow and change, the less you splash around wasting your efforts on things that don't create change. So you're more efficient and effective, while also being able to create more impact. The greater the impact, the deeper the internalization and consequent change.

 

 

[Zippie]

15 minutes ago, Salaam said:

I've changed in a lot of ways in my life...

• Physically I've dieted down from 260lbs to 148lbs and then built back up to 175lbs and elite status on the deadlift (lifting three times my bodyweight). Lol, I'm heavier and fatter then 175lbs now, but I don't mind.
• I used to destroy myself with self-prejudice because of how I looked... even when I lost weight the pain was still there. But, I cured and out-grew that self-prejudice so now, even though I'm not the fittest I've ever been. I truly love and enjoy who I am and what I look like. I can see where I can improve without feeling those knives of prejudice come out to tear me up.
• I've gone from a loner, kind of introvert nerdy kid, to an international drug importer and convicted felon whose fought 4 people at the same time and won, faced goverment agencies having me at gun-point, and plenty of other challenges and hardships.
• I've gone from being a convicted felon to a successful business manager who brought in over $14 million in contracts last year.
• I come from a family with a history of depression and essentially "cured" myself of it by out-growing the connections depression uses to internalize within us (been over 3 or 4 years since I've felt it and I deal with a lot of stress and challenge).
• I've gone from my previous past, of being an over-weight loner to now being a man who is deemed to be very attractive to women and very capable with seduction. My Wife couldn't be happier and so many women tell me that they use me as the standard for deciding what kind of guy they want to build a relationship with. My Wife and I were even given a radio show to talk about the success of our relationship.
• I've gained a high self-efficacy with all 9 kinds of intelligence, when before I was only above average with logical and linguistic. 
• I've slowed my body and pace down to such a level of calmness and deep stability, that people can feel the contrast as soon as they touch me.
• I've gone from having no passion to an abundance of it
• I've gone from not caring about life at all, to caring so much that I feel a deep responsibility for the world and humanity around me.
• Sex... oh my god. Lol, my orgasms have changed so much over my life.

 

Man, there is so much I could write here. Change is a slow process, it's like digging yourself out of a 10 foot hole with a toothpick, but that toothpicking also has momentum and a snowball effect to it, the deeper and farther you go. Plus, the more you grow and change, the less you splash around wasting your efforts on things that don't create change. So you're more efficient and effective, while also being able to create more impact. The greater the impact, the deeper the internalization and consequent change.

 

 

Amazing! Thanks for sharing this man. Hearing your story really makes me believe change is possible. I'll think about this next time I start irrationally doubting myself and making excuses. 

[Salaam]

Thanks Zip and good luck! Yea man, I have made my way from near zero to abundance in so many areas of life. That's one of my favorite aspects to share about myself with people, because it didn't help when I was working through all this to look at heroes and success stories who already looked like they had it all. 

I just had a bit of spirit and determination and built everything else up around that, till I had an abundance of all the foundational things I needed for deep success.
 

[Steph1988]

@Salaam impressive how long did that all take you? was there a single moment that u decided you had enough and u were gonna improve your life? 

or was it very gradual? i'm curious how long these processes take for people.

[Salaam]

Thanks 

Well, near everything in life is a mixture isn't it? So both a gradual process with sprinkles of pivotal moments.

I'd say a defining moment was being arrested and going to jail and then prison. That period of time encompasses both hitting a bottom or wall for me and then getting back up from it shaken from my illusions and conclusions about things with a renewed determination. 

Im a fighter in my spirit and that got energized from my near death and near catastrophe experience. I was humbled but also more focused. Determined that even if was caged I would make something of my body and mind and inside those places I'd be free, my choices my own. 

I was imprisoned for a little under 2 years and hit the ground running once I got out. It's been ten years now since my release and four years since I had my "energy" experience that changed my life forever. 

So, really I had two defining moments that represented different tiers or layers of capability and growth. So to answer your first question 2-1/2 years for the weight loss, another 2 or so years for my strength reaching elite level. And once I had my energy awakening growth started happening at a much more accelerated rate with major internal changes happening during the past 4 years. I was meditating for two years prior to that awakening and had stilled my mind as a base state within one year within that frame. 

That awakening was like attaching an amplifier to everything I did. 

Hopefully that makes sense, if you need me to clear something up just let me know. 

Edited May 17, 2017 by Salaam

[Steph1988]

@Salaam Love it! these are concrete real changes this is what were all here for i think and what we should aspire to.

 

- did you focus on the things you wanted to improve one by one? for example when u were dropping weight was that the thing you focused on for most of the time? and with reaching your dead lift record was that something you focused on for 2 years? i mean how much did you train for that each week? i think its quite impressive for two years to reach that.

i'm asking because i kinda burned out last year because i tryed to do everything at once and maybe that is too much because you can focus only on so much.

- and if i understand correctly you had a huge momentum going once u mastered yourself doing these first 3 things losing weight,strength training and meditating i mean everything else came from that in your case after of course u somehow made a decision to do things differently ? so first reaching mastery and improve certain things and that was the amplifier for the rest.

 

 

[WaterfallMachine]

I guess I could share some of my story with you. I had somewhat of demotivation today and I often motivate myself by reminding myself of what I accomplished so I guess it's the perfect time for me to think about it. And I hope this helps you.

• I had trust issues before. To the point where I distrusted anyone with any of my problems. Even my closest family and friends. So I practiced opening up online to start it easy first, in a community where those with mental health problems share their stories. I told everyone that I distrusted them and I could first barely mention any vague descriptions of my situation but now I'm starting to open up with people in real life about my goals (Currently in health.) and even sharing my story with thousands of viewers on a site somewhere. 
• I was a very kind of "Emotions are irrational," and "Love can go crap itself" kind of person. But I eventually warmed up to people more genuinely and cared about relationships more. Started to care about people more. Now I'm trying to work on my studies so I can gain some credentials for my life purpose, maybe share info to people on the sidelines and trying to save up some money to donate to others. And overall, more friendly and patient with others. I was kinda short tempered before. And instead of endlessly judging my own irrationality as I called it, I was able to find patience in myself. And some growth in knowing that logic wasn't everything. 
• I had a thing for knowledge for the sake of knowledge. And before, I often chased success ignoring what I loved most in life. Ignoring my own childhood of pouring over books and learning new things everyday. I was stuck in a situation where I lost my own curiosity and wonder. Where fear won over curiosity. But I eventually was able to gain a wide amount of reading from books and the internet while really enjoying it.
• I was able to do some meditation for about 4-5 years since I was about 11 or 12. Today, while of course I still have times where I'm stressed, there is a larger amount of peace and contentment in my daily life. Before, I found meditation boring. I kept skipping and missing days but for some reason, I followed through. I have never counted but I estimate trying over 50 kinds of meditations. 
• I increased my focus. Before my depression and anxiety was making my focus so horrible I momentarily have times where I could not understand a single word from my books. I was very scattered and I lack follow through. But now I dislike 10 minute videos and short articles on things. I like books. I like long documentaries. I like a series of videos rather than just one short one. And I follow through well with my goals.
• I lessened my overthinking. Before I overthink so much that I questioned reality and that freaked the hell out of me. I kept overthinking daily tasks and it really made a difference on how slow my personal development was. But now I often can switch between theory and practicality well without getting that scared.
• I explored the hell out of personality typing in this. Mbti and enneagram to help develop myself. And it worked very well until I mastered some huge amount of self awareness in myself. In the 9 Multiple Intelligences, my intrapersonal intelligence is highest and very well developed. I know what I want. I update how my strengths and weaknesses are. I know my tendencies in thought very well. Independent of what others want me to do.
• I studied learning how to learn. Very very very much. I studied the art of memory. I studied the art of understanding. Creative thinking. Critical thinking. Problem solving. Focus. Discipline. Motivation. Grit. And all that to master some stuff on my studies. I'm not done with it yet but it tends to tie in to my very "Knowledge for its own sake" kind of worldview. 
• I studied everything I could find on happiness psychology to better myself. And I find there's not much I haven't tried when I look into that field of work. It was the first personal development lines I've worked on since my depression and anxiety was running high.  It was so bad I was having emotional breakdowns everyday and had anxious thoughts running through my head from my time waking up to my time sleeping. Especially some amazing use of cognitive behavioral therapy. I've recovered from my mental health issues since around the "ber" months of last year. 
• I improved some simple ways with my relationships. Of course. I had to work on my patience before. I worked on eye contact. Worked on my own avoidance of conflict (Still not done today). And worked on a fair use of compliments and using the names of others. As well as some knowledge of body language. And some work on loving kindness meditation, compassion meditation and sympathetic joy meditation seemed to help in this area. Also worked on my shyness in choosing my own topic of conversation and going along with the other person too much.
• I've drastically improved my confidence to a healthy level. I still have some issues if you see my threads asking for advice here on really. But I find I can do a lot of things believing I can grow. 
• I often lied. About how awesome my life was which was actually pretty bad. So I worked on being much more honest about myself with the right people. 

Edited May 18, 2017 by WaterfallMachine

[Salaam]

14 hours ago, Steph1988 said:

@Salaam Love it! these are concrete real changes this is what were all here for i think and what we should aspire to.

 

- did you focus on the things you wanted to improve one by one? for example when u were dropping weight was that the thing you focused on for most of the time? and with reaching your dead lift record was that something you focused on for 2 years? i mean how much did you train for that each week? i think its quite impressive for two years to reach that.

i'm asking because i kinda burned out last year because i tryed to do everything at once and maybe that is too much because you can focus only on so much.

- and if i understand correctly you had a huge momentum going once u mastered yourself doing these first 3 things losing weight,strength training and meditating i mean everything else came from that in your case after of course u somehow made a decision to do things differently ? so first reaching mastery and improve certain things and that was the amplifier for the rest.

 

 

Thanks Steph Yea, I agree, these real life changes are what I'm here for as well.

Well, for the weight loss, yea I was fully immersed, invested, and focused on that for awhile. I didn't just learn how to diet I learned about the role of leptin in the body, ghrelin, peptide YY, and nutrient partitioning. I was on bodybuilding websites and talking with a lot of guys trying to go or be pro. I'd work out 5-6 times a week and sometimes do 2-a-days on the weekend. It became my whole world for those years. Which, was a pattern I've had since a kid, getting fascinated about a thing and then consuming it learn anything and everything about it.

Now-a-days though I cycle through things and focus on them as my body presents it to me. Like, I've got 13 foundational elements of capability that I work on that help me in everything I want to learn or do and I work on them as my body brings them around in their next revolution. One day it might be a focus on sensitivity and as that grows from my day's efforts, I then wake up the next day and my body is telling me I have to work on resiliency. Then the next day Flow and then the next day Differentiation. They are all inter-connected and work in synergy, so changing one impacts all the rest and causes the next one up to naturally present itself.

The huge momentum boost came from my devotion to connective tension, which also brought about my energy awakening. Increasing my capacity with that, is what created that amplification effect and helped me map out on even deeper levels what was going on in the invisible structures behind my mind, finally leading me to mapping out those 13 foundational elements of growth I mentioned above. It gave me the opportunity to one day master learning on a new meta-level while also gaining access to things I needed not just for learning, but application and dealing with life. I'm not saying I have mastered learning, the road is long on that one, but my success gave me a platform to learn and adapt to anything I wanted because I had a large amount of the core capabilities needed for learning anything all developed and inter-connected up to a certain point. 

If your wondering what I mean about connective tension, here is something I wrote a day or so ago in another thread. Hopefully this helps.

Connective tension... It's like... picture a magnet and a piece of metal. If you hold the metal close to the magnet, but don't let them touch you will feel a pulling/tugging action that only stops once the metal and magnet touch and attach. So when something is sitting in your mind and doesn't leave until you have closure, it's acting like that metal and magnet, where it's close enough to be in your awareness, tugging for closure, but not so close that it's attached and the tugging has stopped. The closure is when the distance between your focus and the information you need to "find out about it" (and draw a conclusion about it and categorize it) closes and completes. It's like a kid excited for Christmas and that excitement or tension only resolves once the gifts start to be unwrapped. Closing the distance from the anticipation of that special day, to the experience of that day itself. 

The above also holds true with the conditions we place on ourselves for things and the distance those conditions create. The flavor of tension for feeling like happiness is out of reach can be a shitty tension to feel that people often characterize as suffering. But, that feeling fades once we feel happiness and we are close/attached/involved with it again. Lol, and of course it comes right back again once someone takes up the position of needing condition xyz for feeling happy or any other emotional status.

Now if we extend this analogy  of magnet and metal further, we understand that certain things pull us, certain things push us, and certain things are meh and don't activate us at all. This range of flavors is governed by chemistry. Our chemistry at a given time determines our attraction and fascination about things and the generation of interest. If you change your chemistry, you change the composition of your fascinations... but that of course depends on the degree of change in chemistry.

Oh, I also had a journal here I did for a bit that kind of shows how I'd cycle through different elements as they presented themselves. I'll find a link for you. 
 

 

Edited May 18, 2017 by Salaam

[Steph1988]

@Salaam Thx a lot gonna check it out later after work this day awesome! 

And i think with that u gave a very good answer on the topic  

[Harikrishnan]

@Salaam your life story firms my belief on Everything is possible.