Anyone here who has managed to build a good social circle as an adult?

[Kid A]

Now that I've turned 30 and still haven't managed to create any new lasting friendships as an adult, it's really time to start working on getting new friends and preferably a whole new large social circle. If there's anyone here who has succeeded with this, I would love to hear about your experiences!

[aurum]

@Kid A 

The general gist is you need to socialize like crazy. Find people who are already plugged into the social scene and make friends with them. Invite people out to eat, host events, connect people with mutual benefit, join networking groups etc.

Also, use Instagram as a business card and way to keep people engaged in your life.

You can start with cold approaching people if you don't know anyone. I've surprisingly also made a few decent connections on Bumble (the networking section, not the dating section).

It also helps if you have some sort of project or business that makes people want to network with you. Like if you're a good musician, other musicians will want to collaborate with you. Things like that.

[Schizophonia]

I would like have more friends too.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

No, people tend to fade out into their own lives. Marriage and kids create a divide that is hard to bridge. 

Hobbies have been the only way for me in the 30+ age range. 

The hardest part I have had to face? It's not easy like in uni, high school & the 20s party/self discovery phase. No incidental time - you really have to make effort. I literally schedule it in. I am a huge loner which helps. I enjoy co-achieving while getting to know others, so groups are the way.

55 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

I would like have more friends too.

You guys ARE my friends 🥰 spirit friends!

e-hugs ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

 

Edited May 26 by Natasha Tori Maru

[Schizophonia]

2 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

No, people tend to fade out into their own lives. Marriage and kids create a divide that is hard to bridge. 

Hobbies have been the only way for me in the 30+ age range. 

The hardest part I have had to face? It's not easy like in uni, high school & the 20s party/self discovery phase. No incidental time - you really have to make effort. I literally schedule it in. I am a huge loner which helps. I enjoy co-achieving while getting to know others, so groups are the way.

You guys ARE my friends 🥰 spirit friends!

e-hugs ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

 

Thanks, i add you in my collection of e girl.

[Natasha Tori Maru]

18 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Thanks, i add you in my collection of e girl.

DEAD 🤣

Pokemon gotta catch em all 💫⭐

There are definitely frens out there for us, on a serious note 😊

[Xonas Pitfall]

Hobbies, common interests, and shared values are the best! Why would you even want to talk to someone you have nothing in common with?

Pre-built communities - even forums like this one - are such a good shortcut. You can find Discord servers, educational communities, local events, or even travel-related meetups. Honestly, that's probably the best approach.

Alternatively, you can create your own community - whether through social media or promoting your own groups or events. Over time, you’ll start attracting the right crowd.

It also depends on how social you want to be. Once you have a few people, you can add them to a group chat. That makes things easier on your end, since conversations can happen without you always being the one to initiate.

If you're more of a one-on-one person, then it's even more of a numbers game. You just need to find that one person (or a few) you genuinely click with. The strategy is pretty much the same, but afterward, you’ll be more focused on initiating conversations, planning hangouts, and putting in effort to maintain the connection.

Also, don’t be afraid to get creative. I’ve seen people use shared Google calendars to plan hangouts 😅, find friendships through dating apps, or even start a TikTok, Instagram, or YouTube channel just to connect with like-minded people and build lasting relationships.

There are probably a billion ways to find your people. And honestly, no one’s judging you. You only care about a few people’s opinions - the right ones. Until you find them, everyone else is background noise.

One nice thing I’ve noticed about adult friendships - at least in my experience - is that people are way more understanding about long gaps in communication. When we were younger, not talking for a while felt like the end of the world. Now, most people get that we’re just busy.

And if you can find people who are growing in the same areas you want to improve in, that’s one of the best kinds of friendships to have! 

Good Luck! 

Edited May 27 by Xonas Pitfall

[Schizophonia]

11 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

DEAD 🤣

Pokemon gotta catch em all 💫⭐

I prepare my poke-balls 👺

Ok i stop

11 minutes ago, Natasha Tori Maru said:

There are definitely frens out there for us, on a serious note 😊

Of course eheh.

It's my responsability to be more social to find them.

[Kid A]

On 26.5.2025 at 7:56 PM, aurum said:

Also, use Instagram as a business card and way to keep people engaged in your life.

Instagram and TikTok is where I draw the line. I find those really toxic.

On 26.5.2025 at 7:56 PM, aurum said:

You can start with cold approaching people if you don't know anyone.

I actually have friends, so I'm not that desperate. My friendships are from very long ago though and we don't have too much in common anymore to say it the least.

On 26.5.2025 at 7:56 PM, aurum said:

I've surprisingly also made a few decent connections on Bumble (the networking section, not the dating section).

Of all the dating apps, you had to mention the one I'm banned from! Such a shame. Bumble is by far the best one. 

On 26.5.2025 at 7:56 PM, aurum said:

It also helps if you have some sort of project or business that makes people want to network with you. Like if you're a good musician, other musicians will want to collaborate with you. Things like that.

Writing is my life purpose, so I should eventually find some kind of community there, but I'm such an amateur and don't have nearly enough confidence for that yet!

Edited May 29 by Kid A

[Kid A]

On 26.5.2025 at 8:31 PM, Schizophonia said:

I would like have more friends too.

That shouldn't be too problematic to achieve. You're young, funny and intelligent!

[Kid A]

On 26.5.2025 at 9:26 PM, Natasha Tori Maru said:

No, people tend to fade out into their own lives. Marriage and kids create a divide that is hard to bridge. 

Tell me about it! Nearly all my friends are fathers now. Like lack of common interests weren't bad enough... 

[Kid A]

On 26.5.2025 at 10:00 PM, Xonas Pitfall said:

Hobbies, common interests, and shared values are the best! Why would you even want to talk to someone you have nothing in common with?

In my experience, even friends you have little to nothing in common with are a blessing. I tried living without the friends I have now and it became completely unbearably lonely in the end, and I'm a mega-introvert.

On 26.5.2025 at 10:00 PM, Xonas Pitfall said:

Good Luck! 

Thank you!

[Schizophonia]

3 hours ago, Kid A said:

That shouldn't be too problematic to achieve. You're young, funny and intelligent!

Oh thank you Kid, you're nice.

 

To thank you i have candies in my van.

Edited May 29 by Schizophonia

[Kid A]

8 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Of thank you Kid, you're nice.

 

To thank you i have candies in my van.

🤣