Why do people say "grow up" or "Your too old for x"

[Peo]

My parents always say i am too old for a, b, c and d. Why do older people say that your too old to play with toys, one night stand, partying (Nightclubs/raves), watching porn and certain hobbies. I hate it when people say "grow up" or "your to old"

Why can't we adults in our 20-50 years do what we love, instead of fitting into certain cultural norms. Like why is it wrong for an adult to play at the playground or with toys? I don’t believe we have to sacrifice certain hobbies in life to become more mature. Personally I will never quit porn or weed, I don't care how old I am or what other people think of me. Also if I had a lot of money right now I would start buying toys and lego sets again. I miss being a child I get older. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying I want to be unconscious and not grow. I do believe spirituality and personal development is very important in life. Also being financially comfortable, but we should not give up hobbies we love doing, just because it looks immature or childish from society's perspective.

I always get judged for enjoying hobbies that look childish. 

[Yimpa]

This thread might be of service to you:

 

[Carl-Richard]

Do you actually not have any answers or are you just venting?

[Mannyb]

@Peo

Your honesty is refreshing—and powerful. What you’re expressing is something a lot of people feel but are afraid to say: that “growing up” doesn’t have to mean shrinking your joy.

 

Many older people project their fears or unfulfilled paths onto others.
They equate maturity with conformity, seriousness, and suppression—because that’s how they were taught to survive.
But maturity isn’t about giving up what lights you up.
It’s about being conscious of why you do what you do, and living in alignment with your values, not society’s outdated scripts.

 

If building Lego sets, vibing at raves, or enjoying personal rituals keeps you connected to your aliveness, then that is spiritual— it’s true.
What matters is not how something looks from the outside, but how it feels from within.

 

Real growth means reclaiming your inner child, not abandoning it.
And freedom means living a life that’s authentically yours—even if it doesn’t fit in someone else’s box.

 

So build, dance, play. And let them judge.
They might just be watching you live the freedom they never gave themselves.

 

[Yimpa]

3 hours ago, Carl-Richard said:

Do you actually not have any answers or are you just venting?

No answers are required. Do not underestimate silent contemplation.

*wakes up*... I'm actually venting about how limiting and confused the adult human brain is!

[Mannyb]

@Yimpa

Heard. No fixing. No framing. Just space.

 

Let the silence stretch wide enough to hold the whole thing.

 

Even the confusion is sacred.

 

[Peo]

@Yimpa Off-topic: Your profile picture is very cute. Wish i had a cute cat like that. 

[Applegarden8]

I want to write/record an elaborate series about it. I have some answers and techniques that helps me relax from the projections of society.

The "Grow up" criticism comes from a very insecure place. It signals that if you will fall into place "like everyone else" you will be safer and will not be considered a threat in a violent group think society. This is not the meta or status quo anymore. That's why we have more degree of freedom and possibilities to live our lives. "Grow up" is guilt and fear based conditioning. There is no such a thing for grow up. I was told "that I am a grown adult" and should do or know something because of it many times. Trump also is an adult, Putin also is an adult, why not criticize them for their short-sighted and childish ideas about how the world should be governed and if they truly wished the best for the world they should just resign. "Grow up" means "I don't have time to internalize why you do the things you do and I don't have an individual and holistic solution for you, yet I am insecure about what you do or how you think and I don't want to associate with that, so I want to change that within you so you are more like me."

Also "grow up" means, the person who criticizes you are not in tune with their emotions. This tells you that there is more nuanced less materialistic way to be happy. You don't need a lot of stuff "grown people" have, "so please don't disturb me by entertaining an alternative narrative" that you can look for happiness by exhausting your desire of sex, playing video games, eating something tasty, living by yourself, not having children, etc. Of course some of that is delusion, but some things truly resonate individually to you as to what you should do with your life. And making other people feeling guilty about their own life is not productive at all and makes them an undesirable companion or friend. I have some people in my life that project a lot of guilt in this way and I should absolutely call them out for it if possible in the same sarcastic and shady way they comment so they understand what they are saying and I will do it more and more. Telling people to "grow up" is the most disgusting and shameful thing you can do in a life or reality with no reference point or abslute guide as to how you should live your life where you have different resources and experience than every other person alive today.

The solution is to remind yourself to not feel guilty about who you are and when you need to you are going to quit whatever is not serving you anymore and trust your own innate intelligence.

That is a major downside of relationships. There can be somebody who constantly nags that you should be something you are not.