Schizophonia’s Journal

[Schizophonia]

@Sugarcoat

Nothing to do, as planned I can't play this weekend, but I could play next time.

If you're looking for a cool game, even if it's just to play alone, Portal 2 is available on Steam for less than 1 euro right now; Minecraft is ok but it quickly gets boring.

I also recommend the Paradox Interactive games, even if it's rare that girls like them, even if you're an alien.

 

[Sugarcoat]

5 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

I saw the modification of the message to please me 😂

Nevermind, ty you're sweet.

lol 

5 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

 

I understand, not a big deal.

It’s not fun to have no emotion

 

[Sugarcoat]

1 minute ago, Schizophonia said:

@Sugarcoat

Nothing to do, as planned I can't play this weekend, but I could play next time.

If you're looking for a cool game, even if it's just to play alone, Portal 2 is available on Steam for less than 1 euro right now; Minecraft is ok but it quickly gets boring.

I also recommend the Paradox Interactive games, even if it's rare that girls like them, even if you're an alien.

 

No problem

I like Minecraft survival I’ve been challenging myself by going into caves and progressing a lot 

but thanks for the suggestions

[Schizophonia]

4 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

It’s not fun to have no emotion

Next time I'll put some MDMA in my suitcase ahah.

Jokes aside I understand, you explained to us enough what was happening.

It's in March that you try Risperdale, right?

6 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

No problem

I like Minecraft survival I’ve been challenging myself by going into caves and progressing a lot 

It's nice to pass the time but it's quite repetitive.
So in the end I just end up squatting in the caves too and then rage quit after doing something stupid like dying in the lava in the neither or blown up by a creeper with my stuff on me.

6 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

but thanks for the suggestions

👍

[Sugarcoat]

8 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Next time I'll put some MDMA in my suitcase ahah.

Jokes aside I understand, you explained to us enough what was happening.

It's in March that you try Risperdale, right?

You’re sweet too. 
You know I’m open to try whatever.

Yea I won’t bore you with my problems

Yes in march I try risperidon , I wonder how that will feel. I’ve probably said this before but I like the calming effect olanzipine has and would like to have that on that med, and not wild akathisia .

8 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

It's nice to pass the time but it's quite repetitive.
So in the end I just end up squatting in the caves too and then rage quit after doing something stupid like dying in the lava in the neither or blown up by a creeper with my stuff on me.

👍

I die a lot in the caves so I understand you😹Yeah it can be quite repetitive and frustrating when one constantly dies so I’ve been switching it up by playing some Starstable too which is this calm horse game.

Edited February 15 by Sugarcoat

[Schizophonia]

37 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

You’re sweet too. 

It's normal.

I am a nice guy. (to say with a lisp*)

Quote

You know I’m open to try whatever.

Yea I won’t bore you with my problems

You don't.

Quote

Yes in march I try risperidon , I wonder how that will feel. I’ve probably said this before but I like the calming effect olanzipine has and would like to have that on that med, and not wild akathisia .

That's interesting, keep us informed.
I've rarely seen people like being on neuroleptic lol but well.

Will it also be in combination with Prozac?

Quote

I die a lot in the caves so I understand you😹

You can find a village and stock up on cats to scare the creepers, or wolves to attack the various hostile mobs while you do your thing.

Quote

Yeah it can be quite repetitive and frustrating when one constantly dies so I’ve been switching it up by playing some Starstable too which is this calm horse game.

I just googled it.
It looks like some kind of Wizard 101 for girls.

The mobs look like they're on MDMA lmao, what is that.

Edited February 15 by Schizophonia

[Sugarcoat]

1 minute ago, Schizophonia said:

It's normal.

I am a nice guy. (to say with a lisp*)

Soft boy valentin

Quote

1 minute ago, Schizophonia said:

You don't.

 

Good

Quote

2 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

That's interesting, keep us informed.
I've rarely seen people like being on neuroleptic lol but well.

Will it also be in combination with Prozac?

Quote

 

I will continue the prozac yes

Im unique in all ways you see ...

Why people dont like being on neuroleptic if they help their psychotic symptoms? calm the mind etc , increase breast size (most important detail ofc)

 

I will keep you updated

Quote

3 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

You can find a village and stock up on cats to scare the creepers, or wolves to attack the various hostile mobs while you do your thing.

 

Wtf i didnt know, so you mean you tame those animals so they support you? thats cool thanks

Quote

4 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

I just googled it.
It looks like some kind of Wizard 101 for girls.

The mobs look like they're on MDMA btw lmao, what is that.

 

Wizard 101 means ? haha

Mobs as in horses or the people? lol they can look a bit funny yea. Its a very calm game

[Schizophonia]

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Soft boy valentin

Willy disapproves.

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Good

I will continue the prozac yes

Ok

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Im unique in all ways you see ...

That's my alien.

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Why people dont like being on neuroleptic if they help their psychotic symptoms?

Precisely it is not very effective most of the time, for unpleasant side effects.

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

calm the mind etc

Loss of energy, creativity, and low mood; it's a form of chemical straitjacket.

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

, increase breast size (most important detail ofc)

For my greatest pleasure 

But more seriously it's not very useful if it decreases the libido, because ultimately the goal of feeling attractive, even if it's unconscious/repressed, is to be able to exploit this libido.

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I will keep you updated

👍

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Wtf i didnt know, so you mean you tame those animals so they support you? thats cool thanks

Yes, exactly.

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Wizard 101 means ? haha

It's an online video game, like your.

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Mobs as in horses or the people? lol they can look a bit funny yea.

Yes lol, maybe it's a misuse of language.

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Its a very calm game

What does it consist of?

[Sugarcoat]

21 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Willy disapproves

Soft boy is a compliment 

21 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

 

That's my alien.

 

 

👽

21 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

 

Precisely it is not very effective most of the time, for unpleasant side effects.

Loss of energy, creativity, and low mood; it's a form of chemical straitjacket.

For my greatest pleasure 

But more seriously it's not very useful if it decreases the libido, because ultimately the goal of feeling attractive, even if it's unconscious/repressed, is to be able to exploit this libido.

👍

lol 

I didn’t know it wasn’t very effective most of the time. Abilify was horrible it gave me bad akathisia like a constant need to move and feeling uncomfortable so if someone gets that I understand they don’t wanna take it.

I can feel how it blocks the dopamine in the brain

My libido during day time is gone but for some reason when I sleep and in the mornings when I’m half sleeping I can feel a bit sexual and have sexual dreams so that’s nice. I don’t know how much the medication affects that

 

Edited February 15 by Sugarcoat

[Sugarcoat]

27 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

 

It's an online video game, like your.

Yes lol, maybe it's a misuse of language.

What does it consist of?

Ok

There is a large area that you play on, and as you evolve in the game you unlock more of the area. You do these tasks that people give you to evolve in the game, simple tasks that get progressively harder. The game has a story line that you get to follow when you listen to people and do their tasks. So you get to know the story behind the area and what’s going on as the game progresses. If that makes sense. So you use your horse to go around in the area and do the tasks. You can also do competitions with your horse like running and jumping etc. 
 

This is the map of the area . 

Edited February 15 by Sugarcoat

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

Soft boy is a compliment 

Well, for your greatest pleasure.

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

👽

Pinch*

So unique. 

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

lol 

I didn’t know it wasn’t very effective most of the time. Abilify was horrible it gave me bad akathisia like a constant need to move and feeling uncomfortable so if someone gets that I understand they don’t wanna take it.

I know someone on cyamemazine, apparently it is particularly geared towards anxiety.

If you want talk about it with your psychiatrist.

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

 

My libido during day time is gone but for some reason when I sleep and in the mornings when I’m half sleeping I can feel a bit sexual and have sexual dreams so that’s nice. I don’t know how much the medication affects that

 

Be careful who you fantasize about though, I'm still with my machinegun in the astral plane.

look mean*

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

 

There is a large area that you play on, and as you evolve in the game you unlock more of the area. You do these tasks that people give you to evolve in the game, simple tasks that get progressively harder. The game has a story line that you get to follow when you listen to people and do their tasks. So you get to know the story behind the area and what’s going on as the game progresses. If that makes sense. So you use your horse to go around in the area and do the tasks. You can also do competitions with your horse like running and jumping etc. 

 

It works like GTA lol 😂

How long have you been playing this game? What are the task like? They're like mini games ?

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

 

This is the map of the area . 

It looks super big.

I don't know how this affects gameplay.

[Sugarcoat]

1 minute ago, Schizophonia said:

I know someone on cyamemazine, apparently it is particularly geared towards anxiety.

If you want talk about it with your psychiatrist.

I’m thankful for all suggestions 

2 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

 

Be careful who you fantasize about though, I'm still with my machinegun in the astral plane.

look mean*

 

I’ve seen you there I swear 😳

3 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

 

It works like GTA lol 😂

How long have you been playing this game? What are the task like? They're like mini games ?

It looks super big.

I don't know how this affects gameplay.

I’ve been playing it maybe a week or so , so I’m still very much a beginner 

The tasks vary, but in the beginning they’re very simple, and everything is tied to the storyline of the area, it could be like a horse got lost from its owner so it needs help back, or you need to collect something that they’re gonna use to build something, or you need to ruin some stones that block the way so you can unlock a new area, it really varies but it’s all tasks connected to the storyline.

7 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

It looks super big.

I don't know how this affects gameplay.

As a beginner I haven’t unlocked all the areas so I can only move around in some parts but as you progress you unlock more areas 

[Schizophonia]

20 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I’m thankful for all suggestions 

I think that if you like these products just for anxiety you can ask to change to directly take anxiolytics? Like buspiron, an atypical antidepressant like trazadone, hydroxyne...
There are benzodiazepines too but they are very strong and addictive, it is at the level of a hard drug.

Quote

I’ve seen you there I swear 😳

Ahah what was i doing ?

Quote

I’ve been playing it maybe a week or so , so I’m still very much a beginner 

I saw on google it's an online mmorpg, you can show me that in coop if you want  When I have the opportunity/time.

They also say it's a swedish game btw.

Quote

The tasks vary, but in the beginning they’re very simple, and everything is tied to the storyline of the area, it could be like a horse got lost from its owner so it needs help back, or you need to collect something that they’re gonna use to build something, or you need to ruin some stones that block the way so you can unlock a new area, it really varies but it’s all tasks connected to the storyline.

I see.

Quote

As a beginner I haven’t unlocked all the areas so I can only move around in some parts but as you progress you unlock more areas 

I guess it starts at "South Hoof Peninsula". It's completely empty.

Edited February 15 by Schizophonia

[Sugarcoat]

55 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

I think that if you like these products just for anxiety you can ask to change to directly take anxiolytics? Like buspiron, an atypical antidepressant like trazadone, hydroxyne...
There are benzodiazepines too but they are very strong and addictive, it is at the level of a hard drug.

That’s a good idea. But I kinda like the “dampening” effect on the psyche that the anti psychotics have. So they’re special in that manner.

”it is at the level of a hard drug” I don’t mind 🤓🤓🤓

56 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

 

Ahah what was i doing ?.

I was joking that I saw you in the astral realm with the machine gun . I’ve dreamt about you but I don’t remember much what it was about.  
 

 

57 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

I saw on google it's an online mmorpg, you can show me that in coop if you want  When I have the opportunity/time.

They also say it's a swedish game btw.

I see.

I guess it starts at "South Hoof Peninsula". It's completely empty.

I googled mmorpg and yea it’s like many people online at once playing their character as a horse rider . What is “coop” here in Sweden that’s a grocery store 😹but yea I can show you sometime if you want. 

yea I googled and it’s a Swedish game . That’s cool. The text is in Swedish 

No the game starts at “moorland” 
 

 

[Schizophonia]

Day 22

Sleep is ok, but it's restless; I wake up here and there and have a lot of bad dreams, again not horrible stuff but reflecting my shadow.

I've visited several big cities in Europe in the last few years:
London was the most impressive, it's definitely not the safest city and it's certainly even less so now than when I went, the cost of living or just the costs as a tourist are extremely expensive, the food is really not great; Like everywhere there are good restaurants, but you have to find them and again, it's expensive, there's a lot of street food, it's stylish on youtube videos but most of the time it's disgusting lol, so you'll find yourself eating in fast food chains like starbucks, steak houses etc. most of the time.
The weather is also broken on the ground   It's worse than Stockholm or Berlin. The best thing about London is that it's nice to visit, it's really impressive, maybe the most impressive city after New York, but it's probably prettier than the latter.
Automatically there is a very wide variety of shops and restaurants, it's a good city if you're rich and consumerist, but there are also a lot of hotels.
There are parks but they are quite ordinary, and in fact often not pleasant to use because of the weather.
It's secret but that's why I don't trust @Michael569 too much, to become both voluntarily vegan and a Londoner he must be a mentally ill person who lets off steam on the weekend by throwing acid on people, or eating redheads; I don't see how it could be otherwise.

 

Paris is cheaper than London, there is no street food because hygiene standards don't allow it so you won't be able to make stylish Instagram shorts about it but there are good places to eat that aren't too expensive everywhere, starting of course with bakeries, which give London crap an uppercut.
It's also much more beautiful, maybe not as impressive but more beautiful, the architecture is more stylish.
We could criticize that public transport is of lower quality and that there are very few green spaces apart from the Bois de Boulogne.

 

Stockholm is very nice; it's clean, apparently particularly safe, on a human scale, the food is expensive but the hotels are affordable, the public transport is good, and I have a delicious hot alien waiting for me there.🤏 🤏 ; My obese's vanilla Haagen Dazs had better watch out.

More seriously, the downsides are the rather mediocre weather, the lack of green spaces, the lack of local gastronomy, the lack of architecture, and the lack of cultural singularity in general, it's quite bland. In short, it's a bit the opposite of Paris on both the good and bad points. From what I've seen for those who are interested, the night world seems quite modest; but I'm not used to it so maybe it's just me extrapolating.

I also visited Gothenburg and it was nice too, maybe even prettier in my memory.

 

Berlin is a bit like Stockholm, only basically bigger and prettier.

 

Toulouse is the city where I have to go sometimes for my studies, I also automatically lived there; Apart from the presence of a big company (Airfrance) it's quite poor, not very safe (one of the cities with the most crimes in France), it's full of Arabs and LGBT for some reason lol, and there's no nature at all apart from tiny rotten and scary parks here and there. The restaurants are pretty mediocre most of the time unless you know good addresses, but the city is ultimately quite spread out so the metro will often not be enough. It's not the worst city to live in, but it's not great compared to other cities I've lived in.

 

Strasbourg is my favorite city; it's quite accessible, there are good restaurants everywhere and for not too much money, it's clean, it's probably the most cycling city in Europe with Amsterdam, it's chill, it's magnificent, it's almost the perfect city in my opinion.

 

Barcelona is my other favorite big city, technically it's even better than Strasbourg but I keep this one as my favorite city for the comfort of knowing how to speak French.
The weather is perfect, it's cheap and it's beautiful, unfortunately I only went there for 3 days.

 

Perpignan is a super ugly, poor, gypsy-filled, and super dangerous shithole. I walk a lot and I've never been in a city with so many lunatics per square meter, no wonder they ended up putting a far-right personality as mayor, but it's not like it changed anything.

The city next door where I lived, Canet-en-rousillon, is very decent; there's not much to do automatically but the vibe is nice and it's pretty safe, there's also the beach.

 

Edited February 15 by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

That’s a good idea. But I kinda like the “dampening” effect on the psyche that the anti psychotics have. So they’re special in that manner.

I read somewhere that it's a bit like getting drunk. 

From memory this was a post about quetiapine, but it may also be the case for olanzapine.

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

”it is at the level of a hard drug” I don’t mind 🤓🤓🤓

Ofc the first thing you would do is swallow a whole wafer and see what it does. 😅

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I was joking that I saw you in the astral realm with the machine gun . I’ve dreamt about you but I don’t remember much what it was about.  
 

I dreamt that you gave me your big cute smile before you dropped the blouse, but I woke up before I saw heaven. ☹️ Fucking life.

 

More seriously I dreamt about you here and there but I don't remember particularly the scenario too. As long as you don't spy on me telepathically, I'm fine.

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

 

I googled mmorpg and yea it’s like many people online at once playing their character as a horse rider . What is “coop” here in Sweden that’s a grocery store 😹

lol indeed.

I mean in cooperation, multiplayer.

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

but yea I can show you sometime if you want. 

It makes me happy.

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

yea I googled and it’s a Swedish game . That’s cool. The text is in Swedish 

If it means the Swedes don't have to go crazy because of the climate and the meatballs and come back and pillage Paris, that's fine with me.

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

No the game starts at “moorland” 
 

I see.

It must have a fairly long lifespan.

[Sugarcoat]

6 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

read somewhere that it's a bit like getting drunk. 

From memory this was a post about quetiapine, but it may also be the case for olanzapine.

I don’t really think it’s like getting drunk. While we’re on that topic , I might drink some tonight

7 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

Ofc the first thing you would do is swallow a whole wafer and see what it does. 😅

What is a wafer?

8 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

 

I dreamt that you gave me your big cute smile before you dropped the blouse, but I woke up before I saw heaven. ☹️ Fucking life.

 

More seriously I dreamt about you here and there but I don't remember particularly the scenario too. As long as you don't spy on me telepathically, I'm fine.

Lol

my telepathic powers aren’t so strong

8 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

 

 

I mean in cooperation, multiplayer.

It makes me happy.

If it means the Swedes don't have to go crazy because of the climate and the meatballs and come back and pillage Paris, that's fine with me.

I see.

It must have a fairly long lifespan.

Ok understood. It’s like Roblox where each one has their character. You’d have to create a character to play

Sweden is good we don’t need to pillage🤓

I don’t know how long the game is

[Schizophonia]

@Sugarcoat I have to relax me, i will let you alone. 

8 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I don’t really think it’s like getting drunk. While we’re on that topic , I might drink some tonight

 You go out i imagine.

[Schizophonia]

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

 

What is a wafer?

The aluminum packaging that contains the tablets, there are several in a box, generally.

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

Lol

my telepathic powers aren’t so strong

9 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

 

Sweden is good we don’t need to pillage🤓

for now 😬

[Sugarcoat]

3 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

@Sugarcoat I have to relax me, i will let you alone. 

 You go out i imagine.

No problem you go relax

no ill be at home