Finished the LP course

[Jannes]

The trans friend of mine just posted her status on WhatsApp that the health insurance is gonna pay for her genital operation. She is getting her dick cut off. 

Does it make me (behing my open minded and good willed persona) uncomfortable ? Idk 

[Jannes]

I think I just fundamentally havent come to a conclusion about what I think about trans people. You are born with specific physical traits and changing them through surgery is costing resources and impacts your health negatively. Thats a fact. That people treat you differently because of your physical appearence and that there is a difference between soft dude phenomenological experience and women phenomenological experience is also a fact. 

Well I throw the word fact around a lot to get some stability in my thinking. 

[Jannes]

That my package with the table tennis blad takes more then a week to arrive is though. I am checking everyday what the satus is. But given that I cant really play this week anyway it might even be for the better. 

[Jannes]

Well wht I have to keep in mind is, you are not just born with a certain physical body but also with a certain psychology. Like what you are sexually attracted to. And maybe also how you feel about yourself in terms of gender. How deep is that illusion I wonder. 

[Jannes]

I feel like at least half of the reasoning of my old. theatre club leader to not respond was for PR reasons. It could explain his neutralness in his response or his willingness to only talk to me when I am staying part of the old theatre club.

PR control is something I picked up on quite late. 

[Jannes]

I need to eat more. The medication surpresses my appetite but I need carbs to think properly so I gotta remind myself to eat. 

[Jannes]

Goddammit, nobody is in the guided group anymore so I got out as well but now my sheep mode is broken. I need someone to tell me to be productive. 

[Yimpa]

@Jannes Be productive or else.

[Jannes]

38 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

@Jannes  Meow.

 

[Yimpa]

xD 

[Jannes]

I opened a table tennis video on my phone yesterday and feel how a jam is getting some holes which is the beginning of the end. I blocked youtube on my phone but I dont think I can easily block videos from a random blog. And it felt so good to watch NOOOO. It was a video highliting hte best momets from a match of Wang chuquin. It was so useful to see his chinese and also motivating. 

This is a though spot. 

What I learned though is that sometimes a temporary setback can give room for a new uprise. Not sure if it counts when I have this in mind beforehand though. 

[Yimpa]

I Wang you!

Ding-dong!