Finished the LP course

[Jannes]

 

[Jannes]

Whoohoo my new Body Doubling Launge actually works which is great. 

[Jannes]

Tomorrow I have another training session with my RV trainer. 

I dont like him.

In the last email he gave me the wrong name. Not sure if that was intended. 

Complete red flag wtf, if I told that anybody. 

Well I dont really care how well we get along personally, I just need RV to work and for that the basis is still intact. 

It becomes increasingly hard to explain to myself that RV is real though. Whats saving me a bit is that it does seem like I am making some progress. 

[Jannes]

That was a surprisingly nice coaching. 

Got a new technique for getting out of my head while coaching

He also offered to give me more frequent coachings when I need it, next coaching will be in about 2 - 3 weeks 

..

My focus seems to be good (which is interesting), I am not viewing long enough before getting into the interpretation though which is the big thing. And my interpretation also isnt on point. 

[Jannes]

That would be a helpful game. 

An "open source democracy starter pack".

Oftentimes when a regime is taken over, its not that easy to put a new, non corrupt government into power. Its all just chaos. 

If you had a blueprint to follow to get the building blocks for making a democracy, that could transform many countries. It would maybe even motivate protests earlier, because they know that they could get into the building of a democracy at the end of a regime change and not fall into deeper chaos. 

[Jannes]

It feels like I am fucking up so badly atm. I have got this girl in my social circle and she seems very interested in me. I also thought about it, but I am not fully emotionally interested and sexually only kind of. We are cool, there is trust, but there isnt really the vibe and chemistry. I would probably run through open doors with her, if I escalated but I am just not sure if I actually want it. She stroked over my arm yesterday when whe chatted and I just didnt really feel good about it. 

She will probably look for someone else now .. that seemed to be in the air when I arrived yesterday. 

And that will kind of hurt because I am partially invested. 

Maybe I can talk with a friend about it. 

[Jannes]

Just now, Jannes said:

It feels like I am fucking up so badly atm. I have got this girl in my social circle and she seems very interested in me. I also thought about it, but I am not fully emotionally interested and sexually only kind of. We are cool, there is trust, but there isnt really the vibe and chemistry. I would probably run through open doors with her, if I escalated but I am just not sure if I actually want it. She stroked over my arm yesterday when whe chatted and I just didnt really feel good about it. 

She will probably look for someone else now .. that seemed to be in the air when I arrived yesterday. 

And that will kind of hurt because I am partially invested. 

Maybe I can talk with a friend about it. 

Not following my survival instincs feels so good. Letting her go, not holding onto it. 

But of course its anti survival. 

Letting the war on survival go, aka embracing death, feels like bliss. 

[Jannes]

https://lichess.org/de/training/DBEI3

[Jannes]

Just now, Jannes said:

https://lichess.org/de/training/DBEI3

A nice puzzle