The Princess Diaries

[Princess Arabia]

Some of these spiritual practices and rituals can help the body in some way shape or form and can be tremendously useful in feelings of peace and serenity and help to overcome certain traumas, etc. Great, but they won't get anyone further towards or away from the Absolute. Nothing will. 

[Princess Arabia]

The person (that energy) is restless. Not at peace. It chases states. Chases highs when it feels low. Always has the tool kit out. Always at the buffet table choosing from the array of assortments laid out for it to feel a particular way. Nothing will ever satisfy it for long. It's always more or more intense. Then it attracts those seeking the same. It's a never-ending cycle.

It will always be awake. Never asleep and at peace. It cannot not want. It cannot not seek. It cannot not want to know. It cannot not want more knowledge. It tries to be silent and remain still. Meditate, attend retreats, does practices and processes it's way into being. Sleep is it's only recluse. Once awaken, it comes back into existence - seemingly. It's not there, but it thinks it is. 

It seeks it's true nature. It listens to gurus and invests in belief systems and ideas about how to feel better about it's existence. How to maneuver it's way around the dis-ease. It tries all sorts of things but is never truly satisfied and never truly feels fulfilled. It curses it's surroundings. It curses the others it imagines. The others aren't fictions. It is. Fiction can only seem to arise when the observer sees realness. It sees itself as real so others are real. 

Happens here too. I'm not exempt. It comes and goes. Sometimes I see energy, sometimes I see a person and sometimes I see a cardboard box. None of that is real. None of that is actually happening. Something here knows. The person doesn't. There is no person. The eyes reveals that. I can tell no one is looking through them. Who is the I that says that. No one. 

Something knows but it's not knowable. Knowing cannot know itself. It just knows. Something knowable needs a subject/object relationship. There's none in wholeness, none where there's no separation. None in Absolute Unconditional Love. Love is no separation. That's what Love is. It cannot be felt. It cannot be known. There's no one to know it. All feelings of love is just that, a feeling. 

This is already. This is home. There's no where to go. It's chasing it's own tail. No one is doing that. It's everything. It's also confused and lost. No one is. That energy is. It's awake and trying to find it's absence. It seeks to not be. It takes drugs to disappear but that's artificially inseminated. It will always cone back because it's not there to begin with so how can it really go away. Cannot get rid of something that ain't happening.

Sob sob!!

[Princess Arabia]

You don't see birth and death needing processes and practices to implement themselves. Nothing is saying oh my I need to birth this baby how do I go about that. I should go on a retreat for 9mths to realize how to birth this baby or you don't see death staring one in the face and them saying oh my I need to meditate to bring this death on or go talk to a guru to help me die. 

This sounds ridiculous but there's a subtle message underlying all that. Everything in nature is all just happening all on it's own. Even the notion that there are drivers in the driving seat with free will and choice is the appearance of that energy. Nobody is doing anything. Nothing is being done. It's all just free-flowing timeless energy boundless and free appearing to happen. 

There is no God that accepts or rejects anything. No God dreaming about anything. No one aware or conscious of anything. No experiences or perceptions happening. No one knowing anything or to even know anything; it's just knowing. There's no one to give orders to itself about anything like I'll just do nothing. No one to stop anything, make anything happen. It's going nowhere, didn't come from anywhere, can't get behind, Infront of, closer to or away from. It's immediate with no space, no in between, no cause and effect, no reason or purpose but can appear as such. 

No one to read this and say this is all crap; that just happens but by no one. No one to deny or accept. This just is and it's all appearing in no time and nowhere and to no one. 

Edited October 15 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

Everything doesn't make up the Absolute. Everything is the Absolute. Everything is whole and complete in it's own right. They are only appearances anyway.

[Princess Arabia]

You weren't there before you were born, you aren't there in deep sleep and won't be after death what makes you think you're there now.

[Princess Arabia]

I don't have to go anywhere to experience the Absolute. No processes or practices. No substances or meditation. The Absolute is too immediate to be experienced. Meditation is nice. Practices and processes are good for the body, substances can be eye-opening and a nice experience but there is no substitute for all that is. No need to limit the Absolute. No need for concepts and ideas even though that's it too. It cannot be escaped. 

One isn't special because they practice and process and abstract the shit out of what's immediate. It's all that. Nothing is exempt. What do you think other is. Other as in those that don't practice and process and meditate and go to retreats or do drugs or study or whatever. Do you think because you've turned the Absolute into a story that you're special or have done anything special or unique.

The crack addict is the Absolute. The monk in the Ashram is the Absolute. The porn addict is the absolute. Put a profile picture up of dog shit and you are depicting the Absolute. Infact that's the Absolute being a profile pic of dog shit. Having a profile name Gangsta Lee VS Unborn Tao or Enlightened one makes no difference. One isn't more pure or more spiritual. The Absolute is being everything. It is not close and it is not far away. You will be chasing till kingdom come trying to get there. It is already the case. The Absolute is chasing it's own tail. No one is. The Absolute is practicing and processing itself. No one is. The Absolute is spinning it's wheel, no one is. It's so fucking Absolute it cannot be separated or known or even experienced. It is all there is and no one will ever feel fulfilled or complete because it's impossible to be more complete and fulfilled than completion and fullfilment itself.

 It's not here, it's not there, it's not everywhere, there is no destination, no point, no location. It cannot be pointed to as it's what's doing the pointing. There are no wins, there are no losses. It's the meaning, it's the no meaning, it's the rejection, the acceptance, the surrendering, the ignorance, the stupid, the wise, the guru, the hooker, the policeman, the secretary, the drug dealer, the everything and everyone. There is nothing and noone. It's the complaint, the one saying don't complain, the moaner, the Saint, the murderer, the baby killer, the nurse, the nun, the whatever it is. 

Edited October 18 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

People will run me down or oppose to what it is I said and keep rambling on that which doesn't even make the slightest sense or can even be possible; but when I pose a question such as how can my eyes see the same thing your eyes see from two separate bodies, no one can come up with an answer other than rambling on some more stories or spiritual mumbo jumbo.

The last three threads I started was enough proof for me to realize certain things. Not really proofs but enough for confirmations. No one answer was given, everyone was all over the place and no one could really give any definitive answers. 

Where are you located in the body. You are everywhere, but still have problems. I am not the body, but I am aware of the body. Are you aware of the makings of the body. Are you aware of your nose hairs. 

What are you conscious of. I'm conscious of my direct experience and direct experience is king but a dog will seemingly sense out scents you cannot even begin to know is there. A cat can seemingly see things at a distance you cannot and a bird's eye view is so stunningly broad and can seemingly see Florida and Cape Cod simultaneously. All of this and more suggests no one is seeing, sensing, hearing anything but these are just happening all on it's own. 

Just a few questions that cannot be answered can be revealing. People talk about awareness because some guru teacher taught about awareness. What are you aware of where there's no separation, no location, no center, no boundary, no time or space. It's an illusion and not really happening.

[Princess Arabia]

I'm not phased by those anti non-dual rhetorics. They are just coping mechanisms for the pain felt from separation. Those that speak against non-dualism is usually from a misunderstanding or a way of coping. It is a very broad field and even some speakers don't know what the hell they're talking about and have made it into a practice. 

I speak one way, you speak one way, neither is wrong or right. Some will say yes there is no self....but...where does the but fit in, coping mechanism. Let's not deny our humanity....coping mechanism. It's very subtle but can be seen through when understanding is present. Some will paint a nice picture on why we should be this why and not that way, or we should have compassion for those who are hurting (because that's the only reason why the compassion is needed) and to show how this non-dual stuff can hurt rather than help. That phrase alone shows COPING MECHANISM. 

We need to gently break in those who are starting to realize how deluded they've been their whole lives and not hit them upside the head with brute force. They need compassion and you need to have embodiment of something that cannot be embodied in the first place before you can talk about this stuff and not just what you've heard online. As far as i'm concerned, we were all babies at one point and everything was taught to us by someone. Every direct experience is known and translated by a previous knowing or one wouldn't even be able to translate that experience. Every person is coming from a place of knowing and all perceived knowing (which is illusory, BTW) came from other. 

I don't care what others think about what I say about what I say. It doesn't really matter anyway. Everyone on that forum is deluded, including myself so makes no difference. A bunch of scaredy cats and narcissists and whimps and neurotics trying to hold unto a reality that isn't real and looking to other for confirmation; and when that gets threatened, a wall gets put up and now they start threads to gather the army to fight against their non-existing opponent. 

Edited Friday at 04:30 PM by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

If one is clearly grounded in who they are and the reality they live in they wouldn't feel the need for compassion in this sense and the need to relay spiritual messages in ways it doesn't hurt others and I don't mean physically but mentally. Telling someone they don't exist and them being hurt by that shows they're not grounded in their existence in the first place. If I have to baby-sit others by trying to break it to them slowly but surely that their existence is imaginary then that speaks for itself and there's no need to even bother. I don't say what I say much for teaching anyone anything or trying to change anyone, the words are spewing themselves and no one needs to be taught about who they are and what existence is. It's either it's talked about or it's not. I'm not concerned with anyone agreeing or not agreeing with what's being said here. Who cares, certainly not me. They are just words left up for interpretation. 

[Princess Arabia]

This "you are awareness" junk profile picture that everyone has fallen into is the dumbest spiritual notion I've ever heard. I used to believe that crap too. I used to chant that stupid Moojii chant "Awareness I am, awareness I am, awareness I am...OHM

This shit. It never lasted long though because something about it just didn't feel right no matter how much I chanted. People are looking for relief so bad, they'll fall for anything from any long-bearded man on the interned that became popular from feeding their egos and made them feel better about their non-experiences. Love you Moojii, nothing personal. Big up to my Jamaican/Polish guru, but no thanks. 

I am awareness because I must be something if I'm not this body/mind. I can't be what I'm aware of so awareness must be what I am. No it's not. You are nothing. Nothing being a body where a sense has risen out of to feel like a separate person who has free will and choice, autonomy, a life of their own and will die someday and who lives in a vast universe filled with others. That's exactly what moojii is feeling also and why he feels the need to teach and tell others about who they are because he learnt it from someone else too.

There is only NOTHING and nothing is being everything and all there is is nothing appearing and all that's appearing is all there is which is nothing. That sense is awake and when it goes to sleep, there's no sense telling itself it's there and no one there that feels like a self. When the body wakes up, that sense arises with it and it is not aware of itself because it is not really there. The same as a rainbow the colors seem to appear but they're not really real, the same with this sense, it seems to be a person, but it's a mirage, it ain't happening. 

[Princess Arabia]

The heart isn't shouting at the kidneys asking the kidneys how to beat. The liver isn't asking the tongue what it should do. Every organ does it's thing all on it's own. Except.......people who think they are people with a life and autonomy. Everyone has a question on how should I this and how should I that.

[Princess Arabia]

People don't want the truth, they just want to feel better. Notice this. Anyone that gets in the way of this, is the enemy.

Edited Friday at 08:49 PM by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

It's always funny when I see someone telling someone else who they are and then the debate keeps going. No one knows who they are. Cannot know.

[Princess Arabia]

Why the fuck does one need years and years of a self-enquiry practice to figure out who they are. 

[Princess Arabia]

Why do you look to another to tell you who you are. They don't know either. They also bought into an idea of who they think they are and now are trying to sell that idea to you. Do you need someone to tell you that you have a hand or a foot or an eye. No, because those aren't constructs, you are. 

[Princess Arabia]

I'll tell you what insanity is. Insanity is awakening; awakening to whatever. Nothing can awaken to anything because all there is, is nothing. If nothing claims to have had an awakening it is temporarily insane until it isn't. Now, awaken to that. 

[Princess Arabia]

People will say everything is infinite then say they know such and such. How is it possible to know 'anything' infinite. It's not that we know nothing, it's that nothing can be known.

[Princess Arabia]

The seeking energy, doesn't care about much other than seeking out things and ways to ease it's suffering and tension and will stop at nothing to get that job done. It doesn't care or even know what it is. Challenge that, and it gets irritated to the point where calls you names and places an ideology on a simple question. It doesn't and cannot know what it is because it's not even there.

[Princess Arabia]

How the fuck do two people have sex, she gets pregnant, accidental or not, you pop out the oven as a new born with no blueprint for life and dependent on your ignorant ass parents or whomever just as ignorant as the next, didn't ask to cone here but you're expected to figure it out or you'll pay the price for two horny fucks who just wanted to have some fun.

Tell me, huh, tell me. Why the fuck are we telling people they need to figure out life if they want to be happy, get it right or else, give them work to do to not be a loser like their horny ass parents who don't know their ass from their big toe either and had to figure out life too because their horny ass parents didn't know Jack shit either and let's just go all the way back to phantom Adam and Eve.

Why the hell is it up to the unconsenting(sic) child to now listen to your dumb ignorant ass telling them either they suffer or live in bliss but they have to be conscious and do the right thing. They didn't fucking ask to be here so why is it that they should have to go through this hell of a hole in suffering. Why the hell do you think it's up to them to make the right choices now since they were plopped on Mother Earth with their own fingerprints to keep track of them and their behavior.

Don't you see something wrong with this fucking picture and if they want to exist this hell hole, it's a fucking problem and others will try to deter them while their life sucks too but they want company to feel the suckiness. 

Stop telling people what they should or should not be doing with a life they never asked for on how to be happy and stop asking how do I be happy. No one can tell you how to be happy and stop trying to control the emotions of life because they're not there for you to control. I can't believe I'm talking like this. This is insane. Life is insane. Nothing is right. It's all fucked up. Having you believing you're supposed to be doing something to feel a certain way or else you'll stay miserable when you didn't ask to come here. Needing gurus and bearded men to market themselves telling you how to get enlightened so you don't have to suffer your parent's choices and be in heaven. 

Nobody sees anything wrong this because they're too busy trying to feel good or better about their existence. Nobody complains much about why the fuck do i need you to tell me who I am and how to live a life i never asked for and if they do, others are telling them there's always hope for the never-coming future or they want to institutionalize those who want to exit and call them crazy for wanting to leave this fucked up place and cheer on new-born unsuspecting babies for entering this hell hole. 

Or is this really the case.

[Princess Arabia]

You are the ever changeless, the untouched awareness that isn't scathed by anything and yadi di dee yadi dah, is the same as there is no you. Gotta attach to something, right. Gotta be something, right. It's the only other thing i can attach myself to to seem like I am; and since it can't be proven or disproven, it's a safe belief. No one can knock that ghost down; no one can disprove that phantom dream story. 

No sense in saying let someone knock you upside the head and see if you're still unscathed because that's just another 'if' story that doesn't exist either. 

"I've had my awakening" is one of the most deluded spiritual stories ever told. No one owns anything. Of course, I own my pocketbook and dress and skirt and one can go to court to re-claim their stolen possessions and so on and so forth, but you know what I'm saying we don't really own anything. Well, no, you don't know what I'm saying, but I won't get hung up on all that.

How the hell do you have an awakening for real. None of what I'm saying in this journal I've awakened to; infact, these are just words typing themselves. Funny, because those are just words talking to themselves too, "I've awakened"....no one is behind those words. Well, someone might say then why are you making a post talking shit about it then if no one actually said that.  No one is, and there will be an apparent continuation of words talking that will seem like someone is doing that because there's no one to stop doing what no one already isn't doing.

Edited 6 hours ago by Princess Arabia