The Princess Diaries

[Princess Arabia]

Women don't typically see men; they see the guy. That particular male. Men see women. Body parts. Looks. She likes him. He tickles her fancy. The look just happens to be there. She looks good to him. He's attracted to her looks. That's why for women, it's not so much men are this and men are that when they're criticizing men. It's, that guy did this to me and that guy did that to me, even if they're talking about men in general. They're not really, in that mind they're imaging a particular guy. For men, they're usually generalizing, seeing it as all or most women. It's very rare where it's personal for men. They like you that way, for marriage, long-term, etc because you like them dearly, you make them feel a certain way, it's not so much the female. Very rare a man has to persuade a woman into marriage. He already knows for the most part, she'll say yes and if not, it's because she's not ready for marriage in general and it's not him. Men like to lock down a female he knows is very much into him. Doesn't want her to get away.

[Princess Arabia]

"If" is not a reality.

[Princess Arabia]

It's not a denial of duality, it's an exposure that it isn't real. Not really happening. Fear, anxiety and panics are an effect of that exposure. We fear because something there feels something isn't real. A threat is only a threat when there's someone or something that feels threatened. Why it feels threatened is because it feels, has a sense, that it is happening to it. If that sense wasn't there, we'd all be dead. Not necessarily physically, but the sense of an I, personhood, individuality, separation would cease to exist. The circumstance would still happen, but no one there to perceive a threat or be fearful. It's how the sense of self sustains itself. 

[Princess Arabia]

I could still be talking to my momma right now even though there's not a body there. The same thing would happen as if she was apparently still here. "Hi mom", no body and there's no answer. "Hi mom", a body and she answers back "hi". Now I'm believing she's a person that answered. Now, everything's fine and I believe my mom is alive and well, well in fact, she was never there to begin with; just a body replying back "hi". I don't and won't hear that reply now saying "hi", back because I believe she's dead. I have proof. I saw a body in a coffin and there's no body in front of me. 

I was hallucinating her the whole time, now I'm not anymore so I won't hear a reply back. The body isn't here just as that donkey isn't here in front of me so why would I be talking to either. I see both and now I can have a rapport with both. Truth of the matter is it was just a body to begin with. Just as I see a smashed car, I see a dead body. Because I associated my mom to be a person in that body, now she's dead and the car is just a smashed car. There's no difference. That's why people can still hear voices and no body in sight. The body isn't speaking or hearing. It's just hearing and speaking happening. Voice voicing. People aren't crazy. Perceptions just aren't appearing. We misunderstand and now they're lunatics in the psyche ward. Schizophrenia is one such thing. I'll leave this alone for now, as it's a fresh insight I just had and it's all over the place. Jesus, this shit is coming to me in pieces.

Edited August 13 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

Everything is flowing smoothly. Suffering is going smoothly, murder is going smoothly, disagreements is going smoothly, fights going smoothly, hurricanes going smoothly, doubts, malice, hatred, kindness, discrepancies, joy, happiness, somewhat happy is going smoothly, somewhat sad is going smoothly, that cut on the hand is nicely placed there, do you see a cut on the hand trying to be a cut on the foot. That bleeding body is flowing smoothly. Never seen a bleeding body not be a bleeding body. It's all perfect and complete and whole.

Being poor is going nicely, rich, not so poor, not so rich all in itself complete. Whatever it is completeness. In between is being in between with no effort. Trying to fix oneself is going nicely. Are you struggling to try and fix yourself, no it's glowing smoothly and perfectly. No results is perfectly being implemented. Results is flowing smoothly. Corruption has no problems being corruption. I don't see corruption trying to be something else. Perceptions are nicely being implemented, whatever they are. Everything is whole and complete in and in of itself. 

That car accident went smoothly. I am yet to see a car accident that's not a car accident. Point is, everything is perfect, there's nothing that can be fixed and it's all Absolute. Duality is an illusion and it's not really happening. It's being perceived as happening and is also Absolutely non dually happening and also Absolutely everything. All perceived separation is illusory and even that is Absolutely perfect. The problem arises when that sense arises and says there's a problem. That's also Absolute perfection. There's nothing but freedom, liberation and Absolute perfection. Even the notion that it isn't so is Absolute perfection. BUT FOR NO ONE. That's the tragedy and that's all perfection. Ever seen a tragedy not be a tragedy. Life is not for anyone. If it were it wouldn't be unconditional, perfect, liberation and freedom. 

[Princess Arabia]

The sense of self doesn't realize it isn't real. No amount of do this or do that in spirituality is of any use or any good. It appears to happen. Teachers, mystics, sages, gurus, etc, all there. Students, all there. All empty and void of any meaning. No value but only to the non-existent separate self. Nothing wrong with any of it, but there's no being more fortunate or less fortunate because there's not a separate entity there for that to be happening to. Oprah is no more richer than I am. There is no Oprah and there is no I. That's all illusory and the dream. Now, do I perceive it differently, of course. I wish I had Oprah's money, but that's life wishing that and life saying that. The sense of separation will feel differently and perceive differently, it can't help it even if we change tge context and put another story in it's place. I'm not over here saying all is well and nothing needs to be different and how I'm the same as Oprah and blah blah, of course not. That's meaning and purpose involved and arises in the self. No one can stop that. No one can apply nonduality and no one can see or experience the Absolute perfection that is already.

How can that be. Impossible. Why? Because that's also Absolute perfection. Sadness is absolute perfection, trying to apply nonduality is absolute, it's all absolute. There is no escaping this. Your suffering is absolute. Your wanting to escape suffering is absolute. It's all encompassing. Anyone telling you about God is Absolute. Whatever they're saying is Absolute. Agreeing or disagreeing is absolute. Saying there's nothing to do then, is Absolute, not saying that isn't absolute because not doesn't exist. Show me something that's not. Absence is all there is. Once it's shown, it's no longer. How? Why? Nothing known exists because absence is Absolute being present. How? Knowing isn't a collapse, it's subject/object related and both are dual and suggests separation. This is why nothing is really happening and NOTHING is all there is.

That's the freedom and liberation that's being saught, but not really, as that's also not really happening. It's a fucking paradox and a mindfuck but not really because there's really no mind. Nothing is being mind which cancels itself out as in collapses into nothing.

Edited August 13 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

The body seems to still go through transformations in deep sleep. Night sweats, Rapid eye movement, trembling, wet dreams, etc. No one need be present for the body to do it's thing whether deep sleep or awake. 

[Princess Arabia]

It's not so much that men get along with women more when they treat them like kids or speak to them like a third-grader, it's that men get intimidated by smart women so having this kind of rapport puts them, the men, in a safe place where she responds back playfully and not show her intellectual side if she's a smart woman. That's what makes him feel bonded and not bring up feelings of insecurity. Meet her at a level I'm comfortable challenging and doesn't have to compete with. Women are responders; so she's responding to the playfulness, and the playfulness in the situation speaks for itself and does the work all on it's own.

Edited August 15 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

No body tries to be sad or unhappy. It's all about trying to make the self happy. What state are you in now; rest in that. That's it. Searching for happiness suggests you're sad. Trying to maintain happiness is a fool's endeavor. Sad? Ok. Happy? Ok. No difference. Only what you tell yourself. Tell yourself nothing and that's peace. Be peaceful being sad, be peaceful being happy. Chasing happiness and happiness runs. Run from sadness and sadness catches up. What's wrong with feeling sad. It doesn't last and neither does happiness. 

[Princess Arabia]

It's very simple. Nothing is being everything. That's it.

[Princess Arabia]

Suffering is not a blessing spiritually speaking no more than how happiness can be a curse spiritually speaking. You want to be happy? Go ahead search down happiness but when you find it prepare for when it goes away and suffering returns. That's when happiness really hits. The lack of it, that is. You're not running from suffering, you want happiness back. Stop chasing happiness and you'll never suffer.

[Princess Arabia]

I keep crying realizing there's no one in these bodies. It's like a realization that hits for real. A kind of knowing. It's become quite obvious even though not obvious at all. This forum doesn't help either. In real life it's harder to not be fooled, but the forum makes it obvious. It's not like I can say, I won't talk since there's no one in these bodies, there's no one here either. 

[Princess Arabia]

Every time I look at this forum, there's an issue with the non-existing ego. You're going to tell me there's someone there behind that mask. The dream can't seem to go away. It can't because it's just a dream. End of dream, end of person. It's sad, yet, it isn't. Only to this me. 

[Princess Arabia]

The reason why humans love to call God a "he" is because they think they're real, they see themselves as a person so now everything they relate to is in relation to them. God must be a person since he's made in my image, they're probably saying. God is this, he is this, he has qualities now because they see qualities in themselves. They can't help it. Even if they intuit that God is not a person, which I'm sure they really don't see God as a person, but it's just an automatic response. 

They have created an image of God and now relate to it as a "he", even an "it". I understand language is limited but that's besides the point. Just look at how people express their thoughts about God and relate to it (yes, I said it), as if it's different from them. No one really knows what this God they're talking about is. They were born into it or was taught and now believe it's a thing that can be related to. We can call energy God if we want but it's still energy. Energy has no qualities and cannot be related to. It isn't personal. It sees no one. It's everything. There's no God that rules over anything and there's no God that created anything. It's all energy and energy is all there is. It even parades around as a "he" God.

 

Edited August 25 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

If I see anything claiming to be truth, if I see any arguments for God that doesn't involve a cockroach or a bird or a lion or a wall or a bench, I'm out - metaphorically speaking. I'm so through with this narcissistic, neurotic approaches to God and life and it's human bullshit self-serving, egotistical delusional God deception nonsensical narratives. Everything about God and it's existence is revolved around humans and our delusions. 

The only reason I'm still into Spirituality is because I just love the concept; and, yes, it's a concept. Not much more in life that interests me other than the art of food making. I just love to see people turn food into art. I call it art because that's exactly what it is. Turning a mushroom into a burger is art. Putting together a colorful salad with earth's food is art. 

Spirituality in the sense of nature and how anything is possible and the dynamics of existence is a passion of mine. So-called humans have turned it into something to get something out of, to use and abuse for their own gain just like anything else we put our hands on. If there's no personal value involved, they don't want anything to do with it. They aren't roaches or birds or elephants so when it comes to anything spiritual, those creatures don't matter, it's only about the human and what it can do for them and which guru is telling them things to ease their God forsaken suffering. It's pretty pathetic. We have turned spirituality into a personal agenda and we suffer more because of that. Now we invent all sorts of shit to try and counteract that. We invent all kinds of concepts and ideas to make up for what we've done. Shadow work, self-inquiry, trying to realize who we are, terms like spiritual bypassing to drag the crabs back into the pot. We're so clever but we miss the fact that it's the cleverness that is really over-shadowing what's really going on here.

I'll tell you what's really going on here. Nothing is personal. Life doesn't see you. It doesn't give a shit if you're suffering or not. It doesn't give a shit if you realize God or not. It doesn't give a shit if you awaken to anything or not. It doesn't give a shit if a hurricane comes and blows you and your entire family away or not. It doesn't give a shit if you get sex or not. It doesn't give a shit if you're angry or sad or pessimistic or happy or in bliss. It will show you that nothing belongs to you. It will give you shit and take it back. It will show up how it wants to no matter how much you practice life and turn it into a process. It will not dedicate anything to you. It will tell you to kiss it's ass. 

There is nothing here for you. You have no purpose, rhyme or reason. Yes, you can get from life things and more things and some more things. Then what, all that leaves you with is wanting for more, and more and more. Is that really a gain. Is that really life giving you anything if you can never be satisfied. Life is actually against the human. Not intentionally, because it doesn't see a human but because the human has turned it into a self-fulfilling deceit. It's so greedy, it doesn't realize it's causing it's own demise. It can't help it and it's not it's fault. That's the fucking tragedy. These words won't even register to a human. It won't even realize what I'm saying. It'll think I'm being mad and angry or talking stupid shit while it goes about life thinking it's in in control. It suffers along the way and blames the world and other humans for it's suffering.

Instead of trying to realize God or awakening to what you're not, how about sitting back and wonder why the world is as it is. Why are few so rich and many suffer. Why when a problem gets solved, here comes another not too far behind, why is it left to you to figure life out when you were just a baby with no life blueprint on how to live life, why does it take a stranger on the internet to tell you who you are and not your mommy and poppy, why are so many making millions from that ignorance while you remain poor and meditating away to reach God realization. I'll tell you why, because there's nothing to any of this stuff. It's all empty and means nothing. There's no one here and life us just doing life, even the one that thinks it's a person life is doing that.

Life is cruel. Life is suffering. There's no way around that. In life there is nothing personal and it's for no one, Nothing has even been done to you or for you personally and this belief is what's fucking everybody up to the point of depression, anxiety and needing therapy. Drug addicts and alcoholism and everything else of this nature is borne from this false belief that we are humans with a soul, consciousness, awareness and have a purpose and that we matter.

This is the only thing I've recognized, realized, that it's not personal and that sense of personhood is a fucking thing from hell.

[Princess Arabia]

How the fuck am i going to think I'm something other than what i am. Why is it such a mystery. You are not the body. You are not the mind. What am i then. The empty space that houses the body and mind. Can't believe some people actually fall for that trick. I'm an empty space. I'm laughing just thinking about this shit. I am awareness. Even bigger bullshit. Can't you see that you're aware. Who is aware. Me?. The human? The empty space? Awareness? Who are you. Who is it that tells me who I am. Are you empty space telling me I'm empty space. Are you awareness telling me I'm also awareness. Are you aware of me shitting on the toilet. If you're awareness then I have to be awareness and I have to be aware of everything. Is that how it works. Or I'm just aware of what I'm aware of and know about.

Who is aware of the killer that killed the next door neighbor. The killer? He's aware of himself. He's not the killer? He's only aware of himself smashing that guy's head to pieces. They locked up awareness. They locked up a body/mind and awareness is aware of that. Awareness is aware of the killer in jail. So if I'm not the killer(say I killed someone) and I'm only aware of myself killing somebody and they catch me and I'm punished then I'm alright because i'm just the empty space of awareness being aware of my stupid actions. So who killed the guy. Who should be punished. Not that empty space fo sure, can't catch that. Awareness is going around murdering people and getting away with that shit because it's empty space. What the.......

Ok. That's a bit silly. Who am I. I'm nobody. I'm a sense. Something that feels like a somebody in a body but no one is actually there. No one can do self inquiry because there's no self to inquire into. It's that stupid energy inquiring into itself. Who am I. You're nothing. It's just a body. The body is doing it's own thing. There's no one in the driver's seat. It's so silly doing self inquiry. You tell me I'm God then tell me to inquire into the self. Self inquiry is the most deceptive form of spiritual practice if I ever saw one. Who is inquiring and into what. Then I need another no-self to teach me how to inquire into my no-self self. Is that teacher God, telling me how to inquire into God or is he Mr. Awareness Empty Space teaching another empty space how to inquire into empty space. Ok, I rest. I'm so silly.

Edited August 26 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

Speak it, my friend.

 

Edited August 26 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

If I'm pure awareness, why do I need to practice self-inquiry and any spiritual practice for that matter. Who is the one trying to find this out. Who is the one that is going to know that it is pure awareness. Why do I have to practice what I already am. Is a cat also pure awareness. Why am I not seeing cats and dogs in the mirror wondering who they are. Looking like, hmmmm, I wonder what is this that's licking my paw. Who is this beast in the mirror. Only humans who think they're special would invent some notion like self-inquiry.

 I'm going to continue to unwrap, debunk, question and go to the core of all these spiritual teachings till I can't go any further. Not to try and prove something but to see how contradictory they are and, in my opinion, are only there to soothe the false egoic structure and the one that thinks it's real into feeling better about it's illusory existence and to bring about some ease of the dis-ease that has plagued it for most of it's non-existent life.

[Princess Arabia]

Your computer didn't lag, that game didn't stall, your phone didn't act up, that game didn't glitch, etcetcetcetc. That was the absolute appearing however the fuck it wants. Everything is fresh and new. 

EDIT: Soon as I wrote that,  my other device wants to act up as if to answer me back saying STFU; I'll show ya.

Edited August 27 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

Life fucks wit you, then it gives you drugs to cope and provide therapists to talk you through that mess. Then it fucks wit you some more, then takes a break and keeps you busy from seeing it's shit with a bribe. Something to keep yo ass happy for a little while, while planning it's next fucked up shit that takes you away from that 'happy high'. Then it starts plotting again. The pendulum swings higher to the sadness scale the happier you get, so try not to get too happy now. It'll say "how did you like that roller coaster ride, was it fun". Then tomorrow ask "how would you like to swing today, high or low or in between", but because you are life itself, you have no choice you just have to take whatever fucked up shit it gives ya.

Try saying you'd like to be happy today and see if you can make it through. Now anxiety kicks in because you're on watch to make sure nothing fucks up your happiness and you tippy toe around everything and everybody smiling all day because you say happiness comes from within but by nighttime comes you want a drink or a smoke from keeping up that charades all day and need to release some of that sadness that was choking up underneath from some fucked up thought you had during the day but tried to ignore it because you want to stifle sadness to be happy. Now you're neurotic and getting on everybody's nerves because you're off-balanced because the body is now confused with what it wants to do and what it feels. The end.