The Princess Diaries

[Princess Arabia]

I'm so fat and I feel awful. My life is a mess, and I don't know what to do. My husband and I don't get along and we fight every day, At work the people I work with are making me so unhappy I don't know what to do. The neighbors are so friggin' noisy and keep me up all night. I'm so suicidal.

FIVE YEARS LATER:

I'm so fat and I feel awful. My life is a mess, and I don't know what to do. My husband and I don't get along and we fight every day. At work the people i work with are making me so unhappy I don't know what to do. The neighbors are so friggin noisy and keep me up all night i'm so suicidal. 

TEN YEARS LATER: 

Repeat.

TWENTY YEARS LATER 

Repeat.

FORTY YEARS LATER 

Body dies to reveal there was never a person there to begin with and the story was telling itself.

Edited July 10 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

We're trying to hang on for dear life. We create problems, we find solutions, then create some more problems. We look for issues. We find fault in people. We're doing all these things to feel. We wanna feel something, doesn't matter what it is. As long as I feel, then I know I'm alive. We self-sabotage just to feel. The feeling is the secret. We seek out others to help validate our own existence, no matter the cost. This "no one" message isn't taken to and well received. Who wants to hear that, so we invent all sorts of things to keep that going. Freedom is being that, God is being that. Same thing. The Divine, the Absolute. It's all there is. How can there be problems if God is all there is. The dream is very persistent. That's what's hanging on for dear life. All sorts of story inventions. The best stories ever to keep masquerading as a separate individual. 

You'll hear them on the forum, this is duality and we are humans living in a relative world with human problems and blah blah blah. Saying people are spiritually bypassing and ignoring the human side of things and whatever else. How can something not be what it is. We are either constantly reminding ourselves we are human or not human. Whichever one. Seems like were constantly trying to uphold an identity. As if we're not sure, as if it will fall apart if we don't acknowledge it. Trying to hang on. 

Some are constantly contemplating on their existence. Constantly trying to feel better about things. Constantly with the tool kit, banging away. How can I this, how can I that. No matter what it is, it's usually on how to feel better and have a better experience. This one just isn't good enough. This one sucks. Always. Never consistent. Good for a short while, then back to the tool kit again. What's worse is the amount of knowledge available to us now via the internet. Now we know what we're looking for; have an idea of how to make this happen. More expensive tools are needed to figure it out. There are no shortages of "self-help" tools. Hanging on for dear life.

Then we look to annihilate it. After we build it up, we look to rear it down. Even in the mix of trying to annihilate it we search for things to build it up. We seek out personality tests and give the self fancy names; mjtb type, or whatever initial then we seek enlightenment in the same breath. I'm so done.

[Princess Arabia]

Imagine you had everything you ever wanted. Anything you could ever want for eternity. Really imagine that for a few minutes. Infinite cars, women, money, sex, houses, jewelry, friends, alcohol, drugs, entertainment, pets, whatever it is even if its spiritual as in higher consciousness, awakening, whatever you seek now in the spiritual work, imagine achieving it; all of it........WHAT NEXT. What will you seek then, look for then. If you had 10 hundred trillion dollars at your disposal and didn't have to work again; and not just, that everybody else had the exact same things. Everybody in the world had access to infinite cash and infinite everything FOR EVER. What next? 

You still have the same body but it never dies. The world still looks the same the only difference is nothing is lacking for anyone. There's still war and murders and rape and all. Please don't say well why would anybody rape if they have access to infinite women or steal if they had infinite money, etc, Rich people still steal and men with wives and who are getting and having sex, still rape. Just imagine not wanting for anything for ever and ever and it will always be like that for everyone and at all times FOREVER. Imagine all that with a body that never dies. Having all the riches you can possibly imagine and everyone has it too, forever because you never die, day in and day out every year for eternity, imagine this. Really sit with this reality. 

Suicidal yet.

[Princess Arabia]

There's a loophole in these teachings. I used to think self-inquiry was the best teaching and the closest to what really is the case until I investigated it further to see it speaks to the dream and the one that sees separation. How can what he's saying, which is the teachings of Nissargatta, be the case when there's no separation. Who is aware of what. The thing is, these teachers are also seemingly stuck as the dream so therefore they teach to the dream as the dream. The one that thinks there's something it can do to recognize a true self. There is no self, period. No higher self and no lower self. Call God self and that self is all there is. Everything is all there is so how can there be an awareness of something but only in the dream. How can no one see this. It's so obviously blatantly in our faces and is missed. Actually, it's not in our faces, it is the face and maybe it's so immediate and that's why it's overlooked. A lot of stuff that's quite obvious is overlooked. The one steady factor in all of this is the one looking. Take that away and all that's left is what is. Insisting on someone being there has seemingly and apparently corrupted these teachings and made the observer believe in a future; a future where there's something to achieve and get and hold unto.

There's no one observing anything. Seeing itself it just happening. Seeing is itself being itself. Seeing without a person behind it. Stevie Wonder doesn't need to see to get Grammy's and perform as beautifully as he did. He's not doing anything. It's all simply just happening on it's own. Playing the piano happens all on its own whether the person is blind or not. Same as everything else in life. So there's no one to observe anything. It be aware of anything. There just simply is no one. That 'teaching' wouldn't fly so well and isn't marketable and not very well received even though there's no one to receive it, but it offers nothing so why bother. Even when I say it, I get asked what is the point. The dream wants to jkeep itself alive. 

Edited July 10 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

We get into self-inquiry or even other forms of practices that says we are not the body but yet we claim to objectify the person. Can we objectify a chair and see the chair as a person to be used. No, we already see it as an object, yet we don't claim the body to be what we are but get all worked up about someone objectifying us. Jf we are not the body, then what is the body, and if it's a thing/object where there's no person attached to it, who are we objectifying. See we make no sense at all with all our neurosis and trying to be a somebody in a dream world. This is why I questioned all of it. You are not the body but you take offense to someone seeing you as a sex object. All of what I say goes to me too as I'm also guilty of all this nonsense. It's the reason I'm able to 'see through it' (nothing to really see through). So there's never a pointing of the finger here. I wouldn't recognize something if I'm not familiar with it in some way shape or form. It's like talking from concepts only and not experiential even though there's no real experience or experiencer.

You see, this shit is such fuckery that it's impossible to grasp and figure out and why i say I'm deluded. I'm happily deluded. I never want to get it all or get it somewhat. I want to stay deluded. I'm not deliberately deluding myself or not trying to figure anything out, but there's something here that really doesn't want to deconstruct entirely because it knows it's

(Never figured out how to get this stupid thing back up when I accidentally hit the wrong button it keeps going further and further down, Jesus)

 

 

annihilation, so it does and sees enough just to keep staying as a deluded individual. Not to do corrupted shit but as to not go entirely insane. Something here intuits this. It doesn't know it. 

I worry and cry and feel for people and feel empathy and compassion and advise and do all these things and more to keep the dream alive. I even make myself sick to make it appear even more real. There's no one doing any of this but that's the felt sense that thinks it's doing it. The sense goes in and out in and out but it's trying to stay in and that's what's keeping it alive. Every bit of writing that's claimed is that sense trying to stay alive. Every bit of talking to someone, responding to someone and feeling pain is an attempt to stay alive. Its not really there but it wants to continue to appear like it is. It gets frustrated because something knows its not real but it tries to hang on. It wants others to notice it, to agree with it, to believe what it believes, go do as it does (you do that but I wouldn't do that) you see that all the time how one will say how someone does something that they wouldn't do. It's an attempt to stay alive, to fit in. Why are you doing that if I wouldn't; you're my confirmation piece, please don't be that way because that's not how I am - notice that. Just about everyone does it without realizing why; criticize and judge others for doing things then say in the same breath "but i wouldn't have done that." Watch out for yourself doing it and others. That's not a bug. It's not a bug how we tend to think everyone is going through the same things were going through. We invent and imagine others how we see ourselves, would like to be or wish we weren't. It's fucking crazy. 

Edited July 10 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

It's shit like this that made me start to question existence and curious about shit. Why. I know it's the drug but why. I don't ask why much about anything anymore. Not because I have the answers but one truth answers them all.

[Princess Arabia]

You're not in jail right now or in the asylum or have gone mad because you're living by the senses. Lots of people are in jail right now, especially because of some drug or alcohol because the sense of self disappeared for a quick second and they weren't "themselves". 

"Oh my, I just lost it." What do you think they lost.

Edited July 10 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

The reason why the world seem so cruel and needs fixing is because the observer, the me, the I, the separate energy, all seemingly appearing to happen as such, has projected its sense of realness unto it. It doesn't fit into its fairytale paradigm of safety, comfort and whatever else it seeks to allow for certain feelings; the world it imagines doesn't fit into that. It sees a bunch of other me's acting up and being irrational and whatever else it projects and it's the only reason why and how the world cannot be perceived any other way. 

[Princess Arabia]

The Absolute is lost itself. Trying to find it's way back home not realizing it's everything. It's not really lost because that implies a position, but it seems to be. Everyone on this forum is the Absolute talking to and responding to itself. It cannot know itself. It's like a little baby trying to figure shit out. It won't get anywhere because it is also everywhere and nowhere. Why do you think you keep asking who am I, why am I here, looking for purpose and meaning. 

[Princess Arabia]

We have taken the fun out of life and now we're trying to put in back in. That's what happens when we demonize feeling bad and sadness. Children don't do that. They get sad, they cry, pout, throw temper tantrums and move on. They're happy again, miserable in an hr, joyous in 2hrs, crying in 20 mins, who cares, they're not fixated on always being happy like adults are.

We read books, watch videos and ask advice on how to be happy. Why. Can't wait for it's turn. Why force ripe it. Maybe lighten up a bit and take that bug out your ass and one might feel happy about that. Stop judging and criticizing everything and everyone so harshly and yourself too and maybe we can see the joy in life again without having to go purchase it in some novelty.

[Princess Arabia]

There's nothing to fear but your stupid thoughts. The thoughts you claim as your God and righteous one. The only Divine being in your world. Your idol, your bully and what you worship everyday all day to the point where you need therapy and advice and a retreat to go let someone tell you when to listen and not listen to the floaters. You will listen to that sucker before listening to when I tell you there's no one in that head. You will go find that someone and worship that someone before hearing these words. You will blast me, talk shit in that no head of yours, project it on the forum, and listen to those creepy crawlers before you will just read these words and ignore them or just laugh away and say 'she so crazy' and have fun with this stupid nonsensical message.

No you won't, you will be traumatized by this message to the point where stories and images will get embedded in that brain of yours for future reference when someone does or says something to you that reminds you of something else you went through, and why you're having such a reaction to it in the first place and anything else you react to negatively.

Those thoughts of yours. That's what you need to fear. Those thoughts running through your no head as you read this message will traumatize you in a way where you won't even know that's why you're angry at the neighbor or the man that said something you didn't like or your co-worker to the point where you feel the need to smoke or grab a beer or take a vacay. Trying to run from yourself and taking yourself wit ya.

That's all we need to fear, these ghosts that run our lives and torment us to no end to the point of therapy and feelings of despair and distress. You are a ghost running around trying to locate yourself into existence while fearing your nonexistence and absence while trying to find relief from all the exhaustion you put yourself through to the point where now you're wondering who am I and why do we suffer to the point where stories are made up and ideas about why suffering was invented and how that's to awaken us from our miserable lives that was caused by these stupid thoughtless ghosts running around in the ether that has turned us into captive slaves and now we take it out on everybody else including this stupid message and listen to more thoughts that will enslave you some more into old age and finally annihilation from your thoughtless self.

That's all you need to fear, those stupid thoughts.

[Princess Arabia]

The closest analogy I can give to what this immediacy is and in trying to describe the word immediacy in the context of what THIS is,.is to see how fire and wood turns to ash and that all three are embedded into one. The fire and wood being the ash. Not separate or close,.it is what the ash is. All of it is immediate with no space that separates them. Something like that or maybe when we eat and digest food that turns to poop. The whole.process.is immediate and not separate. 

This is what this reality is like and how Absolute is being everything and with no separation. It cannot be known or grasped or hold unto. Cannot know the fire in the wood and the food in the poop it's too immediate.

[Princess Arabia]

Pretty much what Actialized quotes #246 is saying, and how I interpret it, is that all there is is what is without the ideas, stories and constructs about what is. Maybe not constructs because everything basically is a construct but what we tell ourselves about what appears. 

The feelings about it, interpretations, biases, agendas, trying to fit it into our little dream world, etcetc.all of that comes with trying to maintain a separate self that's not really there. 

The thing I see conflicting about his message is it seems to suggests one is actually doing all that and can undo all that to see God when God is also being all that. It cannot really see itself but be itself. All the human bullshit.comes from there being a phantom observer energy that thinks it's observing what's appearing and has localized itself and now it sees and labels and categorize everything in relation to it and there in lies the stories and ideas anout life and delusion and neurosis is a result. I'll leave this here as it's only my take and also just an idea and interpretation of what is, paradox is this is also what is. This is why I say everything is perfect but to and for no one. 

[Princess Arabia]

Spiritual teachings has just about everything backwards. The biggest of them all is awakening. What the person is actually seeking is how to stay asleep; how to not be there, it's own absence. It's that already.

Edited July 12 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

I'm more suspicious about things that make sense to me than those that don't in the existential sense. I reserve that for practical things like fixing a chair or designing a table. If it makes sense, I'm deconstructing it until it doesn't, but still seems to make absolute sense.

[Princess Arabia]

The more spiritual practices one does, the more condensed and contracted the illusory self appears to be. Why wouldn't it. It's confirming that it's actually doing it and the more results it gets, the worse. It's kind of the same thing as force-riping a fruit. Leave it alone and it ripens itself. Nothing ever happens, but in the appearance is what I'm speaking of. Doesn't really matter as that's innocence and boundlessness appearing as condensed and contracted energy.

[Princess Arabia]

Saying animals and pets are simply being and with no worries about what's next and how the human mind projects worry and suffering unto itself is a misunderstanding. Saying a cat doesn't give z shit about tomorrow and only cares about the present moment it's in while us as humans need to learn how to do the same to suffer less or to be less whatever the teaching is trying to imply is a misunderstanding. A rat is a rat, a cat a cat, a dog a dog, and a human a human. Animals don't have a sense of self and it's only natural for them to respond to what's happening the way they do, so does every other animal that this applies to. 

To expect a human to react how a cat reacts is misleading and a misinterpretation. Humans are being humans just as a cat is being a cat. No teaching on the planet can teach a human how to be cat and respond to what's happening like a cat does. Those kinds of teachings are very attractive to the sense of self energy that seeks a better experience; but it will never be satisfied with it because they won't achieve lasting results. Sure, mindfulness and certain types of meditation and whatever else we do will achieve relief but not permanently and thus the seeking forever continues. It's a predicament that energy is in and can never get out of unless it totally collapses which we call death. Notice how practices and processes never ends and usually requires a stronger intensity the more one does them. They are like drugs to the body. 

[Princess Arabia]

Spiritual trends are in. In with the new out with the old. What is everybody talking about these days, lets try that. 

[Princess Arabia]

No man left out, not even animals. Nothing as a matter of fact. Why should humans be special. Why is that bottle over there on the table that is a part of the whole any less important than I am supposed to be. Is it because I'm sentient and it's not. Is it because my beingness has a more important role in here this and serves other narcissistic beings. Is is because I have a vagina and other beings can get pleasure from that to satisfy their needs and wants. Is that why I'm more important than that piece of rug. Is it because I can teach someone how to cook and show them how to create delicious meals from scratch. I still need that unimportant knife or pot or oven mitten to attain my goal. Whatever it is that I think is so important to me, so important to attain in this life, I still need the services of an unimportant object to do it; to accomplish it like a pen, maybe, or a piece of paper or a chair or a fork, I don't know, whatever it is.

I can't accomplish anything all on my own so I need other things. I might even need dirt, depending on the feat, maybe if I'm a gardener or cement if I'm a builder. I mean, so many of what's considered just things and unimportant humans need to accomplish their so important goals. To do this, to write in an online journal, I need this stupid laptop, I also need to pay for internet and whatever else is needed to be able to do this. Can't do anything all by myself, yet humans seem to pride themselves as being so important but need dirt to survive. 

What is so special about us. We can create Amazon and make billions. We can be President and rule over others, we can own a building, we can invent all these things. We still need unimportant things to accomplish these tasks, so why are we so much more important than the things we need to accomplish our human endeavors. Why is a human more important than the window he looks out of in the morning when he wakes up. What if he had no windows in his house. That would be so devastating and would feel like a prison and maybe get depressed. That window that makes such a difference is deemed unimportant and doesn't compare to a human's so-called life but without it, it's hell, feelings of suffocation in that house might arise, but the human is considered more important than that window.

This might sound silly and I could go on about this and write a book about it, in fact, I will make more posts about this because this is intriguing to me. Why are we so important in comparison to other species. I mostly mentioned objects in this post, trivial things like pens and dirt and windows and haven't gotten to other sentient beings yet but regardless, why are we so important. The real question is why do we seem so important. Idk. I'm trying to get to the bottom of this. 

Is it because without us, this sucky world wouldn't exist. Without us, food wouldn't be available and without us, cars couldn't be built for us to get to work to make money so people can make this sucky world go round. We still need the unimportant things like metal and whatever makes a steering wheel and whatever make up a brake panel to accomplish this feat. We need so many things to make this world go round, but humans claim they're more important than a cockroach or spider. That spider probably does more for our eco system than any human can ever do; and, in fact, that human probably causes more harm to it than that spider. That's just one instance of which there are many even though there are many instances where humans play very important roles. 

Why is that drug fein less fortunate than I am; than you are. Why is the garbage picker who doesn't know how to work to support himself for whatever reason any less important than say a celebrity. Why, if someone never heard about this work or awakening or enlightenment, why is the enlightened one in any better position than anyone else. What if it's a feat that's hard to accomplish but it can be done, and if done, able to see God and all that jazz and whatever else humans claim that enlightenment can do on an existential level, why is the ordinary man who never even heard of enlightenment, why is he left behind in this magnificent feat. Why did God seem to reserve certain things for some and certain for others. Why are you so fucking special, huh. Why did your God play the selection game and choose you to be able to listen to some stupid guru sitting on a throne with wise words while the garbage picker scrunges for food. Is it because you had better schooling. Better human opportunities. That doesn't seem fair. Life isn't fair. What good is a God then if he picks and chooses who gets better treatment or who gets to have opportunities like this one where someone claims they can teach how to get to know you. Why am I fortunate to know this work and follow certain things if I want to get to know the Supreme high. All I need do is do as I'm told, and I get access to the most precious thing in existence. The Divine. Why is that. Why limit yourself God. Why only be accessible through other unimportant human beings who claim their own importance. Why the fuck should i have access to you but that 5yr old in Somalia scratching off ants and cockroaches from their feet doesn't.

 No man left behind. Any teaching or message that leaves a man, object, thing, particle, bacteria, cell, that lamp, anything I see, taste, touch, anything that takes up space like I do anything including dirt and spiders and rats, if it excludes those things I'm not in. Sounds ridiculous, right. Well, what sounds more ridiculous to me is how everything is here but humans claim importance. We want enlightenment and awakening over a chair or a mouse. Why isn't the mouse wanting to be enlightened, he doesn't matter? Only human's get saved from this hell hole. All the stories we make up as to why we're more important and more intelligent I don't buy it. Not that we don't seem to be but the reasons behind it and the stories we tell, I don't buy it. I don't buy that we're more special and more intelligent. I cannot buy into all that. Something doesn't add up.,,,,.to be continued. Nothing left behind. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Princess Arabia]

Seems to me that humans are the only species with a mental dis-ease. Seems to be the only species that gets agitated, I don't know maybe apes and gorillas do too, seems to be neurotic narcissistic, psychopathic and all types of neurosis. Humans seems to be in a dilemma to me. Seems to be the only confused species. Shit, an ant knows what it's doing more than a human does. The human is being a human and not saying it should be any other way, but I don't see anything special about us. In fact, I see us to be the most unfortunate. We seem to get depressed and suffer out of all other species. Se seem to self-medicate the most. Seem to not blend in with nature the most. Seem to still be animalistic in nature.

We claim everything to be ours like entitled fools. Everything. We were born with nothing, will leave with nothing, yet everything is ours. Even the very coffin, some of us want to pick out before we go. Men want to spread their seed and have babies for the sole reason of leaving a legacy. Except for famous people, no one gives a shit and no one but the immediate families will even remember you when you're gone half the time. Women think their virginity is a virtue and men will pay millions for it. What kind of insanity is that. Just to say you're the first. This is how neurotic humans can get, yet we claim importance. 

I look at a magnificent tree, a beautiful tree basking in it's own beingness. Not a care in the world. I look at a beautiful woman, strung out on drugs, or did a lot of plastic surgery because of insecurities and I look at a handsome man all withering to death and feeling lost and lonely and I look at a millionaire still feeling like offing himself because he doesn't know what to do with all his money and he's miserable inside and I look at a beautiful mountain and the stars and the moon all just being themselves in tranquility and not a care; but we say humans are the most important and intelligent and can get enlightened and awaken to the most precious thing there is in life but are running around like lost cattle trying to seek happiness and peace. This is the species that we say is the most intelligent and special. We kill each other and massacre children and murder women for narcissistic reasons in wars that are never justified and we worship animals and narcissistic fools and place them in positions to rule over other narcissists and psychopaths, yet we claim to be the most smart and intelligent. No wonder we seek enlightenment. Something has to be done about this mad species and we have to seek something that will take away the pain and suffering that being an important and smart and intelligent species carries with it. How special is that.....to be continued.