The Princess Diaries

[Princess Arabia]

For there to be silence there has to be noise present. Silence cannot exist on it's own. For there to be noise, silence has to be present. You notice silence when there is noise. You say it is noisy because of the absence of silence. You are noticing silence in that moment. You focus on money or the lack of it when you have none. When it is noisy, silence becomes noticeable. When it is silent, you're noticing or focusing on noise. There is no escaping this, everything, nothing. All your practices are null and void. Do them for their own sake. Can you sit in silence for one session and get a lasting effect. No, that's why you keep doing it. It's like cocaine or crack. The body is being disturbed by all your practices. That's why it jolts, gets headaches and goes haywire at times.

The effects feel very real. It's like a night dream where we get sweats, panic attacks, or watching a horror movie and jolt when we see a terrifying scene. Same thing. The movie isn't real, but we still feel the effects. So don't think I'm taking this lightly or am saying it's all nothing so don't worry or be concerned. It's a serious matter in this way, but after you've seen a horror movie 50x in a row, would you still have the same reaction. Probably not so expose the body to these kinds of things so it doesn't get shocked with effects after effects as much and with less intensity. The rope wasn't a snake but you thought so and got scared. Become familiar with this and the effects will lessen and the body won't contract as much when faced with certain things. This body here was traumatized when it started to realize there was no one driving it and it went haywire. Spirituality is serious business in this way. Same as how you feel real same way the body takes threats to it's existence and the effects are felt by you.

[Princess Arabia]

This is what I believe but I don't know because I just don't. If there's a belief that there is a person there that needs to find it's own way in life, navigate the world to fit in it's construction of itself, believe it's in control of it's destiny and follows rules (not societal, but universal), that will become true for it and it will have it harder in life in the sense of things going it's way. If one sees life as just happening, no expectations, no strategically navigating with effort, doesn't care what happens to it in the sense that it doesn't matter how anything goes or how circumstances plays out, that it will see things play out in it's best interest most of the time and life will go more smoothly. It might not be luxurious or fancy or they become rich or anything like that but just enough to allow for smooth transitions to be able to be comfortable enough and at a pace where it's steady with no major pendulum swings either way.

For instance, if one is chanting mantras, doing all these practices and trying to navigate reality using whatever means where it thinks it needs these things, then it will always need these things to make things happen but whenever things happen they won't be smooth or they'll be followed up with more things needed to be done to make another happen and life will be strenuous and overbearing and energy lacking. Vs, if one allows, surrenders, and doesn't try to do but just flow, things work out more smoothly and in it's favor without much input or use of energy.

Not saying that either way is the case but because of the dream, the effects will be that way because of how the energy is flowing and being. In other words beliefs carry the show. Even in wholeness and oneness and where there is no separation. What we're experiencing anyway is not really real and realness cannot be touched so the effects can seem to change and influence the dream reality where there is a real sense felt.

I think thoughts and resistance plays a role as much as beliefs and even though I always say there's no you or person in these bodies, what I'm pointing to here doesn't negate that and is in a category of it's own. Meaning the no you can still be influential to itself. Almost like a lucid dream. 

I think the more the me seem to emerge, the more complicated it's dream world becomes and the less it emerges, the less complications arise because it doesn't get in it's own way. All still seemingly and only appearing but only to the one observing and nothing really to do with what is.

In my case, I've noticed that the less I care about an outcome, the more it goes in my favor and the more I resist what is, worry about something, interfere with thoughts, ideas and actions out of fear and doubt, the more complicated things become. Don't know if any of this is related or have any correlations and even if they do, it would still be only because of a seeming reality that has emerged for the one observing it and is all illusory but real to that observer. 

 

[Princess Arabia]

Why do you think you have senses. It's because no one is in the body to sense things on it's own. Matter of fact, the senses aren't really sensing anything; it's all energy flowing.

[Princess Arabia]

Hope is resistance to what is.

[Princess Arabia]

Do you have to detach from your nightly dreams to look it at and give a report of what was dreamt. Your dreams are Absolute. Everything encompassing. Nothing moved, no one witnessed or observed the dream. It was boundless, timeless, limitless and direct.  No separation. You need not do anything just sleep. Same here. Things happened in the dream, though, didn't it. Same here. Boom.

[Princess Arabia]

When you really pay attention to life and what is going on here, you'll see that all that's happening is an expression of energy. This is why forums and social media are so popular; they provide a medium to do just that.

Practical daily living and everyday activities are expressions of energy. The body doesn't do too well in stagnation mode. Sit somewhere for 24-48hrs and don't move and see how stiff the joints become. The body looks to express itself. See if you keep things bottled up inside of you as in anger, hurtful feelings, and so on for too long or have them pile up, see if you don't feel like exploding or have the urge to want to release it somehow.

Loneliness is an effect of this. People feel lonely sometimes because the energy isn't able to express itself. We get angry at times because the body and mind is in conflict with each other and the expression comes out unaligned. This can also feel like envy, dismay, disappointment, jealousy. It's all expressions of energy. Feeling bored? Stagnated energy. Excited? Overwhelmed energy. Don't get too excited or you'll overwhelm the body and throw it off and probably shock the nervous system too much. Then it has to work harder to get back in balance or the need for dopamine will take over. The energy needs a balance to work smoothly. This is why voltages is a thing and you can't put something meant for a certain power outage in a socket that it can't handle. 

Strokes are effects of this too. Not sure how that works but it's the wrong appliance in the socket, so-to-speak. Reality is neutral but the effects can be felt in different ranges and depending on the person's tolerance levels, age and things it's been exposed to. 

When you make a post about your trauma, life experiences, both good and bad, that's energy expressing itself. The forum is the outlet. People in your life are the outlets. We are all outlets for each other. 

This is what you are; energy expressing itself.

Edited June 2 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

I'm using the word Awakened here but I don't see awakening as something someone achieves or does to make happen. 

When one gets tired of the human personality, awakening happens.

When one realizes there's no doer, awakening happens 

When one 'surrenders' awakening happens. 

When one sees that life is unfolding as it is and for no particular rhyme or reason, awakening happens.

When one doesn't care about what happens to them in the sense of personal gain, awakening happens.

When one realizes there is no autonomy, awakening happens.

When one realizes that other is not themselves awakening happens. There is no other. Not as a cliche and spiritual hum bum, there actually is no other. I'm typing this for no rhyme or reason and to no other. I won't get into that. 

When one realizes that suffering just is energetic just as a storm is energetic, awakening happens.

When one realizes that happiness is also energetic just as suffering is energetic and  both are equal when collapsed, awakening happens.

When one doesn't care about living or dying, awakening happens. It's not up to anyone, so care is not a factor in this way.

When one has lost everything, awakening can happen. 

When one realizes that problems will never go away because problem is simply problem caused by no one, awakening happens.

When one realizes that awakening is not something to get or achieve no more than life and death just happens (appear to), awakening happens.

When one realizes there is no master, guru, spiritual teacher or Sri, that can transform being and that they are only expressions of energy, awakening happens.

When one realizes that their realizations are illusory awakening happens.

When one realizes this post makes no sense, awakening happens. 

When one realizes that Nothing is all there is awakening becomes null and void.

When one realizes all this, freedom relaxes into the opening and isn't clenched and contracted as it once was.

When one realizes that it really doesn't matter and that it's all freedom and liberation, there's no awakening because that's suggests something to awaken from and that's a position and there are no positions in this endless, Boundless, timeless, unlimited whatever you want to call it, there is no awakening.

The homeless, talking to itself, doesn't care or even recognize itself talking madman down the street is also awakened to nothing and is a more freeing expression of energy than anyone can ever imagine including that man.

THIS IS AWAKENING. AWAKENING IS TIMELESS. IT IS NOT A THING TO LOOK FORWARD TO OR ACHIEVE. IT IS NOTHING. Sounds woo woo and blah blah? Good. 

 

Edited June 2 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

I wish I could get rid of thoughts much less sit down and carefully mind them. What is mindful meditation. Why am I minding thoughts. That, to me, seems like defeating the whole purpose of so-called enlightenment and awakening. Let me sit down and watch these thoughts, mind them like a little baby and monitor them to make sure ........make sure what - not sure.

I don't have to mindfully watch my yawns, sneezes, coughs, burps, blinks. I don't have to mindfully watch when I pee and take a dump. Those happen all on their own. Why am I being mindful about thoughts. They are a natural phenomenon. Nobody worries about their pee and bowel movements unless they become a problem. Then we go to the doctor to see what's wrong. 

We go to retreats for the mind because we consider there to be something wrong. A mindful retreat is the same as going to the doctor for a problematic bodily function. A fully working body, doesn't need the doctor unless it's just for a check-up. The mind is not problematic. It is a natural phenomenon. All is mind. A mindful retreat cancels out the retreat. All is mind and I'm going on a retreat for the mind. Jesus, how did I get so trapped in this mess called spirituality. It's the most delusional thing there is, in my opinion. Make it make sense. 

*Please note: I'm not making light of spirituality nor it's practices. I write these things out in this way because maybe something clicks one day. Maybe by writing out these observations, it may bring clarity for or against something. As far as I'm concerned there's nothing wrong with doing any of them. This is my way of reasoning and thinking for myself into God knows what. Most of the things I write here I will never say to someone who clearly finds their work and practices of help and of value.*

I love spirituality, just not in a way where I feel I have to fix myself or do anything to become anything to be saved, enlightened or awakened. I love it for it's own sake. 

 

Edited June 3 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

Why are we complaining about the dating world. Nobody owes us anything. Go home and sit and your couch and jerk off if you can't find a woman to date or if you find women appalling. Same goes for women. Figure it out. Nobody complains how stores aren't giving away free shit and how they have to work to pay their bills. Everybody expects a free ride when it comes to dating. This is not about paying for but working for. 

I have to work my ass off to get what I want. I don't go around expecting men just to hand me shit. When I say women should just be when it comes to men, I mean do the work on yourself and attract, don't chase. Work on yourself, do your homework on your own, figure out or learn how to attract the people you want in your life. Then do nothing. If no one approaches, do some more work. When I say work, I mean find out what men like, what the type of guy you're attracting looks for in a woman, become that woman. 

For men, same thing. No woman owes you anything. Go work on yourself and become the man women will want to be with. Stop listening to those pill ideologies. Stop holding unto your stale beliefs about women. Not all women are like what you believe them to be. People with no drama aren't on social media parading around and talking about how the opposite sex ain't shit and exposing the bad views they have about the opposite sex. People are out here dating and having sex like crazy. The ones who aren't sitting on the couch ruminating about how they can't find anyone and how the opposite sex is this and that. I can't tell you how many couples i see on a day to day basis. They're not concerned with new age dating drama, they know what they want and they go after it. They're out meeting people off or online. Doesn't matter. Half probably don't even know anything about red or blue pill bullshit. 

The men complaining about women have an entitled attitude. Nothing in this world when it comes to relativity is perfect. Why pick on the dating world. So what, politics sucks, food industry sucks, health care sucks, work force sucks, wage slavery sucks, you still buy that soda to support diabetes causing and teeth rotting company called Pepsi or coco cola and help to make them billionaires but you complain about a taxi fare or a happy meal for a date. You complain and complain and complain about everything as if the world owes you anything. Leave women and men alone. Let them be. Go find what you like and stop complaining about the ones you don't. 

[Princess Arabia]

So Silence revealed itself to me. I'm more clear on the matter now. This is why I write these things out. Somehow, I've noticed that things that get queried, asked about, talked about, wondered about gets answered somehow or reveals itself, it's like Solipsism at work in a way. You don't know how many times the clues of that has revealed itself in subtle ways, but It's just a hunch. Anyway this isn't about Solipsism but here goes. Silence is probably the only Spiritual practice needed for truth to be revealed.

 

*Silence reveals your true nature.

In silence, there are no concepts present, no thought about anything, no idea about what life is who I am. All descriptions, labels, stories, definitions, distinctions, boundaries, ideas, are absent. All that is left is being what you are, free from any notion about what that is or what that will lead to. There isn't even a notion of time there, so there is no idea of next or before either. There is no personal identity there. There is no notion of gain or loss, ignorance or awakening it is just a pure being what you are. This is the practice to know yourself, be as you are, rest as you are, already and always, and your true nature stands revealed.*

 

This was revealed and an opening resonated with that. 

I will continue to deconstruct every practice until I get to the bottom and can't go any further, then and only then will I be able to see for myself the truth. Not Absolute Truth because I still think there's no such thing since it all is, but the truth of why I'm doing what I'm doing and not because I was told to. This, to me, is a true spiritual practice. All said above is the truth of the matter and I see now how silence is the key.

Edited June 3 by Princess Arabia

[kbone]

@Princess Arabia

Exactamente.

The self is a movement as mental constructs of memory within Awareness/Stillness/Silence (ASS) that one is, so there's really no one to awaken. Such movements, thoughts, things, concepts come and go within/as THIS ASS which one already is. The search was always about attention being locked within the movements, seemingly moving linearly through space/time, unaware of THIS which always was/has been/forever will be (this too is just a mental 'conclusion' rippling as an expression). To search for and find what was actually never lost, always HERE/Present, is an odd dealio indeed to the mind, but not to THIS. Only the mind doth protest, but a mind informed by the realization tends to giggle at the trip that IT is. 

Edited June 3 by kbone

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, kbone said:

@Princess Arabia

Exactamente.

The self is a movement as mental constructs of memory within Awareness/Stillness/Silence (ASS) that one is, so there's really no one to awaken. Such movements, thoughts, things, concepts come and go within/as THIS ASS which one already is. The search was always about attention being locked within the movements, seemingly moving linearly through space/time, unaware of THIS which always was/has been/forever will be (this too is just a mental 'conclusion' rippling as an expression). To search for and find what was actually never lost, always HERE/Present, is an odd dealio indeed to the mind, but not to THIS. Only the mind doth protest, but a mind informed by the realization tends to giggle at the trip that IT is. 

Ok

[Princess Arabia]

An insight came to me today. The human seems to be the only organism, thing, person....whatever that seems to carry this separate energy that thinks it's a somebody with free will and choice and blah blah blah. We have heard it been called 'contracted energy'. That's what they call it in non-dualism. 

Now, when a woman is pregnant and is about to have the baby, she experiences contractions. We all have heard about this before, and mothers can contest to that. Maybe this is the cause of the 'contracted energy' in humans. Usually there's also pain and suffering involved in the birthing process and maybe that's why this energy experiences pain and suffering. Animals seem to experience pain too but remember the mother also has contractions.

Maybe there is some similarity there. The energy is innately contracted and it arises within the body from the mother's contractions. It tends to seek relief and is a seeker by nature. All the characteristics that come with this energy is what being human is all about. Maybe. Food for thought. I find this insight interesting even though it's just a story and there really is no contracted energy, only appears that way. 

[Princess Arabia]

If there was someone in the body, a me or an I, there would be no need for the use of these pronouns. These pronoun's uses are there for narratives to place them within the body as a representation. The only reason there's a person in the body is because you put it there. Now you have to name it and call it 'me' or 'I' to make the distinction. You, them, us, our, their, etcetc are all a representation of what isn't there but is abstractly placed. All the pronouns. A 'you' must come with a 'your' and a 'them' must come with a 'theirs' and an 'us' must be accompanied by an 'ours' and a 'me' must be accompanied with a 'mine'. 

It will take a special kind of thinking to get what I'm saying. A something that's actually there doesn't need a name, doesn't need to be pointed to and doesn't need to be seen. If something is seen, it's already not there. Heard, not there, smelt, not there, touched, not there. That's what the senses are for. They are there to give the illusion life.

Can you see absence, the absence of something, no. You need eyes to see it. That's another 'sense'. Just like hear, touch, feel, taste and smell are senses, absen(s)e is another sense. That's the real sense. That's why we seek, we seek our absence. 

No self, nobody, no this no that...it's all absence. Not non existence, but the existence of what's not there but needs a sense to pick it up.

 

[Princess Arabia]

Notice people that post (start threads) constantly, excessively like maybe 3or 5 posts a day, then on to the next one the next day, maybe 4 or 5/wk or more, just posting excessively in a short period of time like maybe a month or two usually disappear for a while after that. Maybe even forever or a year or many months. It's something I've noticed.

When I say I excessive I mean to the point where it's noticeable. Not like one every day or 2 or 3 a week or so but as I mentioned above. Never fails. I would say to myself I bet this person doesn't log on for awhile.

That's energy exploding. Like a hurricane or tornado or tsunami. Then comes the calm. It needed that expression Lots of pent up frustration. Needs to go somewhere. This is an excellent place to relieve tension. A place for safe expressions. Judgements and criticisms here aren't taken too lightly because that's like criticizing someone's expression. It's taken personally and as an attack. I know I've felt that way before. 

I've even noticed that since I've started this journal, my responses, threads, posts and comments on the main forum have reduced dramatically. Energy is being expressed here. It's pretty stable and not eruptive and loves to talk to itself. Express itself in writing. Some days it's more, some days it's less and some not at all.

Edited June 4 by Princess Arabia

[Princess Arabia]

https://www.actualized.org/insights love this too. Leo is on fire lately. I love when he talks about Reality, even though I may disagree sometimes or haven't seen what he's referring to yet. Relatively, of course. This post is relatable, understandable and says a lot. 

[Princess Arabia]

The word "my" should tell us that that's duality and a dream. Reality screams this shit.

[Princess Arabia]

The bum on the street, talking out loud to himself constantly, the ones you see that are always talking to themselves no matter when you see them, they mind their business, they look at you like you're not even there, they may dig through the trash, laughing out loud and smiling and looking like they're having a conversation with someone, you might see them for years doing the same things, they are actually in silence. You, my friend, who are constantly in your head, worrying about this and that, contemplating about that and this, every second there's a thought, thoughts haunt you everyday, you're constantly in quiet mode but the thoughts are rampant, you, my friend, need a retreat, you need meditation, you need to learn how to quiet the mind or how to not identify with thoughts.

Notice how those bums are always smiling, never looking worried. They talk all day about nothing and thoughts aren't there.  Their thoughts are being spoken out loud while their insides are quiet. Outside doesn't matter, it's what's inside thar counts. 

I always talk about bums because I find them to be more directly in tuned, less neurotic and more sane, happy and content than the rest of us in a weird kind of way.

[Princess Arabia]

How you gonna reach God. God is Boundless, timeless, unlimited, not a thing, is everything. What is there to reach. That's a position. Why are we trying to box this, i don't know.

[Princess Arabia]

So I went on Leo's blog for a quick look and now I have to stop and go grab something to eat for my stomach and come back with my feet up to be prepared for some real food for the mind.