How To Connect?

[Miguel Oliveira]

Hy people!

Getting to the point. I had OCD since 12 but got worse at 16. I did get many medication, terapists, hipnotherapy.

3 years ago I start to see some light and getting some pain and heavy feelings on the chest.

I follow Leo since more or less the beginning of his YouTube channel and helped me getting a lot of realizations.

Right now and since I get better I have difficulty connecting with people. Since forever I like to talk with stranger make them laugh but recently and looking to the past I never have a "real" deep connection with friends like I see people around me having. When I meet people from my "friends" I start to talk but they not seem engaged at all to talk, they don´t have that feeling to talk with me, they just hear, accept but don´t connect with me, I can´t keep them interested. I know that can be the words I say but, intellectualy I know many, let's say "tricks" to have a good conversation but in the end applying that things I can´t connect at all.

Even the people I spend the most of my time (I live with guys that I know at almost 10 years and know I´m in college with them) the relationships are shallow, I talk but not exist that deep connection like I see them having with people that literally they spend less time, some less some more, but the deep connection, the friendship, the playfull things, the conversations are there but in my case, even spending so many years with them that connection isn´t there.

Since I know some conversation techniques and frameworks for sure that 80% of the "no-connection with others" is based on the feelings that I´m giving to them, the vibration, let's say, that I put out.

I have some self image problem, for example, when I go out and see successfull people and really other "ordinary" (sorry about the term) people I sense that I can´t and I don´t have a life, like I feel like I´m not like the other people (successfull and not successfull), I feel like I don´t fit on this world, that I´m not a part of the community, that I don´t have a life and life just go by me and I can´t enter the human community.

 

This text got big but I can´t get a video explaining the deep stuff, the vibrational stuff, the "ego" stuff. They just present us with conversation techiniques but don´t get to the root of the problem and if we do that techinques the results can substancially appear but don´t gonna get that deep emotional realization that we are connecting cause the deep "problem" that exists in us wasn´t fixed!!

 

Thanks people!!

[Lai]

Miguel, maybe you are stuck with the same old crowd.  Find new places and new friends, and give yourself a chance to get past this barrier.

[Miguel Oliveira]

@Lai Yeah, right now I´m go out with new people but when I talk the connection isn´t there, they aren´t engaged. On the other hand other guys on the group when they talk on the first time the others are right away connected and invested on the conversation

[mostly harmless]

My question would be how interested are you in other people? 

I propose a little experiment: Try to find out what you could find interesting about any of the persons around you by asking them. You can also connect this to things that you are currently occupied with. Let's say a holiday is coming up and you are not sure where to go. So you could ask people about what they could recommend. Maybe they had an amazing holiday at some particular country or city. Typically when people feel honest interest in them, I think it's very likely that they do connect. 

Also watch this