Aquarius

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Posts posted by Aquarius

  2. Posted · Edited by Aquarius

    I feel like Ketu is trying to tell me something. I work so hard on making this work, and on making and creating and maintaining this work.

    People are after me like always, maybe I should stop telling this to myself like a mantra and to break free from the cycle for once. 

    What's so funny though? Diving deep once again. 

    I need cleanse in all manner first things first though. 

    Fly like a dove, fly like a raven, quit the politic with some fly conversation

    I'm a natural dude (?) and I'm in a natural mood

     

    credit to bbash / f j for last 2 lines

  3. Posted

    Okay now time to talk like a human being. 

    I don't even remember what I did today, I was so caught up in my mind's whirpool. I just can't continue it like this anymore. Not to say it was all for nothing. It's part of the process. 

    The gift of the visions. So lifted out of my own pile of bullcrap. There be guide, there be angels, near.

    I feel like most music is toxic, intoxicating, unhealthy, or simply bad. I have to put myself on a mental diet. 

    I feel like a major bad habit got released through awareness. I just really walk a lot. 

    My mind always gets caught up in the abyss then I suppress is with something super unhealthy. It's a control/avoidance mechanism.

    I think I can replace it with sound treatment. OR to occupy my mind with something better and greater than myself. 

    I don't know if I'm punishing myself or if I'm being challenged by my good friends, or if there is such a thing as enemy.

     

    I always like to believe there is no evil in the world. 

    I refuse to see evil, hear evil and speak evil. Does that make me a monkey? 

    Where the... does this road go? 

    Woah time to turn take the roundabout around this. 

     

    Okay so I can't believe there are beautiful things in my mind. Doves and bayleaves and white messages. I decide the content too. 

    I want to stay here but time to get moving. 

  5. Posted

    Everyone only talks from their own perspective, no need to even state that. If you overexplain yourself than that means you are insecure in your own words. 

    Why are you asking this question? Just wondering.

     

    A fool can be confident too you know.... A wise man who is confident is more subtle and implicit. Implicitness and smoothness is what might attract you, not the confidence. 

    Imagine someone insane being confident. That's just creepy. 

  9. Posted

    16 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

    I  never said that it's not fine. I've said many times it's completely fine for women who do it for men. But I don't do it for that reason. So generalization is a bad thing. I like my face better with makeup. 

    I don't care if men look at me or not.. 

    Every woman has her own preference.

    If men like looks it's ok. But I don't care about it. I want a man who appreciates me for me, for my personality. That's why I don't focus on looks. 

    Because I don't want my looks to attract him. It's my preference. 

     

    I understand now, thanks for clarifying. I wasn't generalizing, I was talking about myself. 

  10. Posted

    13 minutes ago, integral said:

    Ya know the other day, while repairing a computer for a 72 year old grandma, she starting flirting with me (Im 32, young). My thought process was, well i dont want to deny her what she wants, seems unfair, everyone needs sex... 

    She could of been a 11 foot, 6 testicals, slime dripping alien and it would of made no difference. Its going to get the job done.

    If she wanted a strange alien long term relationship of what ever sort, no problem, makes no difference, just go with the flow. 

    Yes I agree, you're young. Just be careful, ok? 

    Not sure who you talking to, but I'm digging the vibe. You're a good person.

     

    I've gone through so much bad stuff, all because going with the flow and not taming my animalistic brutality. Sometimes you can hurt other people's feelings while not being frank with yourself, you know what I'm trying to say? It's very valuable that you opened up like this, at least to me, idk why, probably because I'm meditating for 10 hours minimum every day and I don't even know how globe the earth is (???), but yeah...

    Timing is key, either way, I'll add that to that. Also what you do with your time. And I also don't think you desired that relationship with her, you just didn't wanna hurt her feelings. You can be easy-going without giving in to feeling sorry for someone.

    Maybe I misinterpreted everything. Just putting my thoughts out there.

  11. Posted

    3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

    @Aquarius  I am being honest. I don't need a man to be a woman. I don't get it. 

    I don't have anything against women who do things for men.. I'm not demonizing them. 

     I am simply saying that I do things for myself, for my own status as a woman. Don't see anything wrong with it 

    I don't let society dictate how I want to be. Zero is making it sound like if i do makeup it meant for men, when it's not. 

    Just telling my honest truth. 

     

    Status is part of societal hierarchy. Zero just tries to awaken you to a wider perspective. He doesn't mean to hurt you or make you sound bad or needy.

    And if you ask me, you sound like you want to be seen as an alpha woman. Or at least you really fight to be heard. That's great but... I say, just tell your truth how it is, and let it be. Leo would probably call what we do a mental-masturbation. Idk, I'm not him xD 

    To be an alpha woman you just have to trust your instincts and walk away proudly and with dignity when it's time. Alpha women do not care to prove their truth. They lead by example. (for someone that questions me, I did read a book on alpha personality, so don't tell me I'm making this thing up)

    I don't think I'm an alpha. Meh, couldn't care less, -- but that's probably a lie I tell myself. Honestly I just wanna be more independent. I'm already making the first steps in independent thinking. Very at the beginning though. 

     

    It's also a question of wisdom, not just alpha-ness or independence and respect. A wise person will try to see the perspective of the other one, even if it's sometimes difficult to grasp. It's a gift to be able to see through other people's lens, but it can be also obtained by training it.

     

    My mind is very scattered. I do try to focus on this now though. Preety, I do hope I said something helpful, I'm just trying to help really. Maybe you don't need my help, but then again I'm just expressing my own vision on the situation. Sorry if I ever sound harsh or rude, I'm just very raw and brutal when I speak. Head in the clouds probably too (maybe on another planet actually woosh....)

  12. Posted

    9 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

    Not at all. But I don't do it for that reason.. I do makeup for myself. Zero is trying to imply that all women do makeup to impress men. But that's not true.. I am not doing anything for men (not that there is anything wrong with that but I don't do it for that reason). 

    He doesn't realize that everything is not for men. 

    Again. There is a need for it. I have the need for my feminine expression because I'm a female whether a male is present around me or not. 

    My womanhood is not affected by his presence or absence. 

    I'll still do makeup whether you find necessary or not. 

     

    Some women do make up to impress men. And that's not wrong. It's totally fine. And most of it is unconscious and subconscious, so sometimes we have to look inside ourselves. I actually do make up because I think men won't like my natural face. I'm always told I look too masculine. My body is fine I guess. But other girls call me chubby which doesn't help my self esteem. But yet it helps me lift myself up from my own misery. Not meaning to say you are miserable, but I am miserable sometimes, and now I'm talking about myself, not you. If I don't live a normal life and just meditate all my life. Also talking about my own life.

    I do believe you though when you say you do it for yourself. But you do it for yourself. Why do you do it for yourself? What is the gain/benefit? 

    When I do make up for myself I like to think that Mother Nature is proud of me lmao. In all honesty, I'm weird like that.

  13. Posted

    9 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

    Only when they want it. Their whole life does not revolve  around a vagina. 

    Women are good at control and composure. They don't need nofap and nowap.. Lol

     

    Nobody is forcing anything on anyone. Who said life revolves around genitals? 

    But love and attraction is part of life and it's good to embrace it. Don't close yourself into yourself like that. :( 

    I've been there where you are and it's not a nice place to be.

    And Zero is not doing a good job by trying to make you to come out of your shell like that.

    And seriously you guys can stop fighting because we all have our own pace and our own struggles and evolution. We all have our own natural pace and you two clearly have different positions. Try putting yourself on the other's place. No need to argue so much, it's all very simple.

     

    Men want a girl who can take care of herself and look decent.

    Girls want a man that respects her and understands her emotionally and listens and actually hears her.

     

    Not everyone plays game either. Some just live life and move with the waves/tides/flows...

    I do miss dating though. I mean I'm still young...

    Can we all be honest with ourselves?

  15. Posted

    13 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

    When I do makeup, I'm not even thinking about a man. I hardly bother to look a man in the eye. I want to look good for myself.. So I feel better about me. I want to look nice. It's all about me.. 

    Call me self centered. Call me selfish. 

    But it's not for men. Men instinctively think it's for them. 

    Just like a man going to gym for a fit body, he isn't doing it for women, but to look good and keep himself fit. 

    You think everything in male female terms. Especially too much bent on the masculine side. Everyone's got their own reason to survive and live. 

    Who cares if a man likes something or not? Why even care about that? 

    I can show Tons and tons of single women. They are quite happy.. 

    In fact they love the independent free life. Not every woman is aiming to be a wife or mother. 

     

    I don't aim to be a mother but I want a nice guy and lots of cool animals. So yes, while I am happy being single, I also enjoy expressing myself through make up and clothes.

    But is it wrong to want to be beautiful for someone you like? I'm asking sincerely. 

  17. Posted

    12 minutes ago, zeroISinfinity said:

    To tell you actual Truth of how man think. 

    We are all about looks. 

    *Young men are predominantly looking for looks over personality/status/etc,. 

    But yes, biologically that's correct. Symmetry and golden ratio is all over nature, It's science. I think it might be true. 

    And who says being beautiful is a sin, right? 

     

    Beauty is so versatile though.

    Charm, attractiveness, physicality, sexuality, sensuality, purity, naturalness, efortlessness, symmetry, elegance, etc.

  18. Posted

    9 minutes ago, zeroISinfinity said:

    @Aquarius Nothing against anyone. Really. 

    If you don't find your own life important who else will? 

    Wide picture and every perspective even if you don't like to hear it. 

    Bad guys can be quite helpful. 

    Good bad guy I love her. 

     

    I think I don't respect myself quite enough. 

    But even if I did idk why others don't respect me. 

    I have so much to tell sometimes but no one will hear it. Or they confuse it with the bs new age weirdness. Or marketing stuff. I've been called a Microsoft Robot by my ex when we were still in the dating phase when being myself, purely myself. Maybe it's a communication thing. I never get it quite right. And when I find someone I vibe with they can't go with my own pace. I'm taking it too fast, giving it too fast.

    The information I mean. I should be more thorough probably.

     

    And alrighty what you mean by wide picture?

  20. Posted

    14 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

    @Aquarius I don't get these people on here. She is actually very beautiful. 

    If I were a man I'd die for her. Plus she is elegant and eloquent. 

    I think it all depends on perspective. I think she is beautiful and intelligent.

    If I wanted I could list the flaws I  see in her, and the emphasis is on the I/eye (???/ of the beholder?), but that wouldn't be fair because 1. I don't know her personally, and 2. it's none of my business to trash people or to gossip. I just simply appreciate her and wish her the best in her career path. I do see she is working hard and trying her best. She's a decent example.

    I tried making podcasts like 3 times now and I end up creating wonky and freaky shit every time. :/ oops. I could learn a thing or two about communication.

    I won't give up though, I bet there are people who appreciate my work. We all find our tribes in the end. It's a matter of time, discipline, persevering...

     

    For me the problem is that there are people who keep fucking up my work. Purposefully. And I don't know why. Maybe I'm just a very vulnerable person, easy target. Or just pure imagination. But I do have people attacking me almost on daily basis, based on gossip. It's not cool.

  21. Posted

    15 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

    I have a question for any women reading this. Feel free to answer if you want, but be honest.

    Let's say you are with a guy that every woman wants to be with (and by that I mean having sex with him, raw attraction, not for some other vague reason). He has also an OK personality (he's not Mr. Exciting, but also not Mr. I'll Abuse you or Mr. I'll Be Your Servant). Let's hypothetically say that said guy is loyal and stay with you for the rest of your life.

    Isn't that the perfect guy?

    For me it's a turn off if every woman wants her.... that's suspicious. Like idk, if she's every woman's type there's something going wrong in there. Sounds like either a red flag or something sneaky.... Idk somehow it sounds scary. Maybe I'm just having a certain degree of carefulness when something is way up high there... If he's ok and honest then sure, might give a try, but I get so much jealousy and trash from other females for no apparent reason either way.... and younger than me too. Like wtf girls, just live your life and let other girls live too. 

    Also what you made is a very hypothetic statement. What exactly do you mean by "every woman wants"? What does that look like in your mind? 

     

  22. Posted

    14 minutes ago, Lyubov said:

    Leave it to men to blame women for not spreading their legs for them and starting wars cause of it xD

    ok I made my one simp post

    But for real though, I think guys sometimes see the less desirable and unfair aspects of dating when they start trying to improve at it and maximize their chances with their most desirable partner and take on a sort of negative confirmation bias about how the entire domain is. yeah, some pretty perplexing stuff does happen sometimes where you feel like you were being vulnerable and she took it as weakness and was turned off. I don't even see any point in trying to understand it. It is a lot for one person to understand... yet alone this thread where plenty of people are trying to make sense of it lol. I think the best thing you can do as a man is just focus on yourself and create and create and create as much as possible the best qualities you want to experience in yourself and often times naturally this will attract your most desired partner. 

    if she took it as weakness she's not the right one, I tell you that for sure. 

    I think vulnerability is nice, but highly depending on situation, circumstances, context and personality types.......

  23. Posted

    11 minutes ago, zeroISinfinity said:

    @Aquarius First of all I don't give a shit about this human BS. 

    But you have be wise and smart if you want to play this. 

    To not wake up as 30 yrs old woman without family kids and good husband and normal life. 

    Same for man to not wake up 30 years old playing fucking video games and living in mom's basement jerking on porns and watching animes. 

    Yeah thanks for that. I need someone to shake me up sometimes. 

    Actually, the reason I am single right now is because I made very wrong choices with relationships and men. I treated men like men treat women.

    And boyyyyyyyyyy how sad it got. Lol I ain't even sad about it that's how sad it is.

    I'm just focusing on money career and mental stability nowadays. I don't want to depend 100% on a man financially, even though I got that option many times, but I am picky with men. I refused each time. I know my worth. And it's not high either, and I don't have sophisticated standards. I just want to respect myself for once. 

    Definitely not waiting till 30 to get a faithful man. I don't even know if I'll live till then.

    Not all of us are gifted in the same way, maybe I am creative and energetic, but I have to work on wisdom and orderliness. 

    It's all a long work in progress and I'm far behind others career-wise ._. 

  24. Posted

    5 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

    @Aquarius Yea criticism of Teal Swans work is one thing but attacking her or deeming her worthless because of her age or appearance is truly disturbing and extremely shallow in my opinion. 

     

    Woah girllllll congrats on 16000+ posts :) just noticed. I keep disappearing nowadays. 

    Yeah I mean she's not perfect, and I totally empathize with her. I'm as imperfect as it gets and I make do somehow. It's a dog eat dog world. Shallow is a fitting word for the way of thinking associated with criticism of that sort. She comes to bring a message, not to be a beauty model. But I think she looks very nice, idk how much of that is make up. I don't even care and nobody should. 

    The models we see in fashion magazines are retouched by photoshop and are rarely above 17 years old. And even models will tell you it's not about being beautiful. 

    I think there's also narrowmindedness. And fixations. Like only caring about sex, game, money, power... it's very one-sided. Yes, it's essential on a basic level, but you don't wanna get stuck there. 

    Sometimes you have to get out of the muddy waters to breathe some fresh air and smell the roses. 

  25. Posted

    6 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

    Hot as shit I bet.

    I'd rather have winter all over again. I love winter.

    Oh yeah. Winter is awesome. 

    Thinking of summer in our times makes me wanna work out all day and night. 

    Then I just end up meditating for 10 hours straight and speaking spiritual cheese on forums. THE GOOD PART IS THAT IM HONEST AND AUTHENTIC :D

    I'm going to congratulate myself for the authenticity this time, for honest you always should be. It's a must.