Forestluv

I’m not addressing you personally here. These are general observation of social dynamics. The above sentiment could come from someone at Green/Yellow trying to pull Orange up to Green. Or it could come from Orange resisting Green and trying to maintain Orange. These two positions are very different orientations driven by different values and desires. The Green/Yellow person may see the collective good in BI, yet may realize that it may not be practical to implement and there may be unintended negative consequences. The key here is that Green/Yellow values that collective goodness and will advocate for it. Such a person will want things to progress and offer ideas to keep the progress going. For example, they may see some drawbacks in the structure of BI and offer some ways we could modify it to address those concerns and make the proposal more efficient. For example, if BI is funded by rerouting social security funding - it could make both BI and social security programs vulnerable to future dismantling (since social security has much deeper infrastructure). If both B1 and social security was lost, this would not be good for the collective. We may say in this context that the current BI proposal is not good for the collective - yet let’s re-work it to address this concern. Or, a Green/Yellow may say that the most important here is the underlying value of meeting basic needs, yet BI is not the best way and offer other another option to achieve this goal. Orange will have a very different orientation. An Orange person may see the collective good in BI, yet not want to move in that direction because they are anchored in Orange. Similar to Green/Yellow, they may voice support for the underlying intention of the proposal and voice “concerns” about how it’s not practical or it will have unintended consequences. Yet Orange will not want to progress, so they will not offer energy and ideas to progress. Rather, they will delay, stonewall, drag their feet, undercut and make excuses. For example, over the last six years, the workforce at my job has gone from 150 years of being 90% upper-class white to being highly diverse - ethnically, socially and economically. This is had positives for the image and economics of the institution - which is attractive to Orange administrators. The problem is that the administrators are still all upper-class straight white men. There is a lot of grass roots Green, yet Orange administrators resist. They know they can’t resist by rejecting Green values, so they try to appear supportive of Green. Yet they aren’t. They try to appear as being pragmatic and concerned - yet they keep avoiding, delaying or resisting any new initiative toward progress. And often try to slip in Orange level constructs. Just like conservative Blue has “dog whistles” that Green has awakened to, Orange can speak in “code”, in which Green is awakening to. This dynamic can also be seen with corporate Orange Democrat’s resisting progressive Green Democrats.

Great question. True resolution won’t come from the same mindset that created the situation in need of resolution. That mindset keeps the mind engaged within that game and will perpetuate the game.

This is a lock. ?

And that is where ethics enters regarding personal gain, corporate toxicity and public wellness. E.g. Wells Fargo CEO John Stumpf. His behavior was certainly profitable for him at a personal level, yet was harmful at the societal level.

A good video on the conflict between mainland china and hong kong

@Bodigger I agree that personal responsibility and empowerment is an important factor, yet just one factor. Taken to extremes anything becomes unhealthy. 100% independent is unhealthy. 100% dependent is unhealthy. I find it healthiest having a balance between the two - aspects of independent and inter-dependent. I am an individual consciousness and within a collective consciousness. No one is 100% separate and dependent. At the collective level, there is a shared inter-dependence within a community/society. Denying that aspect of being cause a shift toward being a separate self from the whole, which leads to suffering. I’m not saying 100% collective is healthiest. I’m saying a balance between individual and collective is healthiest. Sometimes, people can shift too far toward individual, other times too far toward collective. I try to keep a balance. Right now in the U.S., I think the shift is too far toward individual/tribal and it would be healthy to balance that with more holistic collective consciousness.

Journaling is a useful tool for many people. There is a sub-forum for personal journals. You can start one if you like.

@theking00 I would keep in mind things you are into, You mentioned you like nature a lot. Perhaps find a meetup or activity that is nature-related. Even if you don’t find a date, you are still engaged in something you like and spending time with people with common interests.

Be careful with that quote. There are different levels of awareness regarding “you”.

I’d let go of beliefs that others programmed into me. Let go of those beliefs that are causing me pain by interfering with my desire and capacity to love. We are allowed to do that, it’s totally legal. We can get rid of old beliefs and see the world with a new pair of glasses. Then we can be open and follow our heart and true desires. I also grew up with racist parents. They mocked dark skinned people too. The same crap got conditioned into me. I got into a relationship with a black woman I really liked. And that crappy conditioning came up. I didn’t even know it was there, it just came up. She could feel it and I felt bad. Then I realized there was subconscious racism conditioned into me. It was all bullshit that and holding me down. I wanted to be free of it, so I got rid of it. Then I was free to love her.

@inFlow Growth is infinite ♥️ ?

I’d like to add that holding speculation as knowing is widespread. In science, we do tons of speculation. This can be beneficial in that it allows space to explore possibilities and to develop new models. Yet problems occur when speculation is held, portrayed or received as knowing. This happens a lot in science and it compromises the efficacy of science. Sometimes holding speculation as knowing can be mostly subconscious - other times it’s conscious and intentional - which raises ethical issues. I’ve been at science conferences in which fights over speculation vs. knowing turned into bloodbaths. It can be a battle to control the narrative and claim a type of power.

On some trips, not knowing what you ingested or the dose could cause a really bad dynamic. . .

I would vote for the highest consciousness candidate with a shot at winning, so in this case - most likely candidate B. However, if A and B were similar and I only had a slight preference for B and really liked C - I’d vote C to help support that party for the long run.

Letting go of one’s own POV and really understanding another’s POV, expands the mind and reduces suffering due to attachment/identification and separation. If you were a young attractive woman that had to deal with unwelcomed sexual advances from guys many times everyday and it made you feel uncomfortable and unsafe - do you think you would have the exact same opinion about masculine toxicity as you have now? Really try to imagine what it would feel like to be her and have to live with this everyday. If you can do this at a deeper level than the intellect, it will be mind expanding and you will be able to relate to a wider range of people. As well, one could directly ask women what’s it’s like and really try to understand her as if it was you. This isn’t an intellectual issue. You aren’t writing a thesis on this for school. This is a personal issue driven by emotions. You have a set of emotions that you are uncomfortable with. She also has a set of emotions that she is uncomfortable with. Try to imagine, experience and understand her feelings and what she has to go through. Women are the ones who bear the brunt of toxic masculinity. It seems to me they should have a large say in what counts as toxic masculinity. They are the ones that have to deal with most of that crap.

You missed the context. Notice how your mind wants to control the context and the narrative. You are seeing it through your POV and want to define what toxic masculinity is. I asked you to see it through another POV and consider what toxic masculinity is from that POV. Yet you simply restated your POV. And I’m still curious. . . Can you tell me some of the precautions you take everyday to protect yourself from sexual harassment and sexual assault?

Question answered in previous thread linked above.

You are seeing Now as a subset of infinite possibilities. Let’s look around now. Hmmm, no unicorns, no belly dancers, no giant spiders, no Coldplay music around me now. So obviously, not all of the infinite possibilities are happening right now. That is one side of the duality and a legit perspective. Can you also see that Now is infinite? This is not an intellectual thing. It is a direct experience thing. Now is infinite. There are no possibilities outside of infinite Now. However, this does not suggest the opposite is false. The key is to not be locked into oppositions - that if a thing is true, that means it’s opposition is false. Let go of the opposition and see the truth as itself - opposing nothing. Regarding coincidence. . . it’s a thought story. Drop that story and be amazed by the magic of synchronicities all around you.

@outlandish Yea, China seems primed for a red-level opportunistic takeover. I wonder if China has been licking their chops on this for a while and sense this is their opportunity to strike. McConnell and Pelosi issued strong statements against China adding in there will be consequences of China invades. Yet, Trump refereed to the protests as a “riot” - which plays to China’s narrative that the protestors are a violent mob. Trump’s most measured response was both sides-ism. What I find interesting is that Trump is pissed off at China over failed trade negotiations and entered a trade war that could harm the economy, farmers and his re-election chances. Yet he seems ok when China acts as an authoritarian. He could be using this to put even more harm and stigma onto China. He could frame it that China is doing crooked business with the U.S. AND they are immoral tyrants that harm their own people. Yet Trump compartmentalizes the two - China is an economic adversary, yet a fellow authoritarian. . . .It’s like two schoolyard bullies fighting with each other. One bully says “Hang on while I go kick that nerd’s ass and take his lunch money. I’l be back in five minutes to fight you some more”. The other bully is like “ok, whatever”.

The phrase “just approaching a woman” sounds so innocent. “Gosh, all I did was approach her. . .” It is context dependent. In some situations, approaching a woman could be very romantic. In some situations, approaching a woman could be heroic. In some situations, approaching a woman can be toxic. Try to imagine this from the woman’s POV. Imagine you are an attractive 25 y.o. woman and you have to endure more than 10 unwelcomed sexual advances from men everyday. At work, in restaurants, at parties, while shopping. . . Many of these advances are from creepy guys trying to get laid. Some give you annoying winks, some call you “baby”, some approach you with physical intimidation. Some rub themself on you. Even when you try to show disinterest by moving away, they persist. It feels icky and it happens 10+ times a day. It sucks. Now imagine yourself as this woman walking home after work, similar to the Gillette commercial. There are a group of men catcalling at you and saying you have a nice ass. This feels really uncomfortable to you, so you try to walk by them quickly and just get away from them. One of the men follows you and approaches you saying how cute you are baby - let’s get together and have some fun. .From the perspective of the woman, this situation is clearly toxic masculinity. If I saw this play out, I hope I would have the masculine courage to step in and tell the guy to back off. A question I have for you: can you tell me some of the precautions you take on a daily basis to protect yourself from sexual harassment and assault?

I wouldn’t consider any of those traits to inherently be “toxic masculinity”. Yet I can see in some contexts, something like “being a ruler” can get out of hand and become toxic. Do you think in some situations “taking the lead” or “being a ruler” can be toxic masculinity? Doesn’t it depend on the situation? What if a group of women at my work were organizing a retirement party for one of our co-workers. I notice there are no men in the group, so I decide to insert myself and express masculinity by taking the lead and being a ruler. I tell them we aren’t going to do the party that way. We are going to do it by my lead and rule. No flowers. No sissy farewell cards. No soft music. I want a pool party with lots of booze, drugs, women in bikinis and rock-n-roll music. I’m the masculine man leading and ruling you women and that’s how it is. In this situation, would you say that taking the lead and being a ruler would be toxic?

You have an opportunity here to expand your capacity to love. Yet you would need to acknowledge and let go of some conditioning in your mind and body. It can be uncomfortable, yet it is well worth it. Expanding one’s capacity to love is deeply profound and transformative.

I regularly express masculinity and have never been accused of being toxically masculine. As well, none of my male friends are accused of being toxically masculine. I’m curious what you consider “masculinity in general” to be.

Yea. Causation expands into an infinite number of causative inputs and collapses into One - as do all dualities. This is one route to get to One No-thing.

I was in a similar situation and couldn’t re-orient. I learned a lot about myself, yet it was a bumpy emotional ride - a roller coaster at times. If I entered a dating scenario with an agreement to be open, I’d have a good chance of orienting myself. Yet if I’m in a monogamous relationship for months, we develop connection and bonding, and I’m really into her and us - I can’t re-orient. Once that is established, I can’t just shift gears and say “OK, let’s have sex with other people now”. I just can’t do it - especially since it would be likely that she was the only one sleeping with other people. It would completely change the dynamics we had. Some people might see that as a good thing, but not for me - if I felt love and connection with her. I could prolly do it If we were more like sexual play toys with each other or if we start off with an agreement of poly. Yet once I develop a loving monogamous connection, I can’t shift. . . I wish you the best on your endeavor.