Strikr

24 > 25

ok in his message OP said he did meth and I barely noticed it my misstake ( I don't know anything about OP addiction ) he didn't say that he used it regularly, but yep meth is another kind of shit but that's good to show this guy if he is doing meth ( I watched his channel once ) I know someone who talked to me once about ibogaïne to help with his drug addiction ( opiated / but he was coming from an heroïn addiction ) isn't ibogaïne an African thing ? People who do those kind of thing have no monney for going in Africa ( generaly speaking ), although meth isn't expensive if I m right.. Not time for speak, all in the hot bath ? :p, yep maybe , the sword is better than word OP : I suppose LSD and inquiry alone about why you're doing meth could be a " good idea " if nothing mental worked.

I quit weed only by inquiry and consciously wanting to quit, maybe LSD helped having the starting point, but it took me 2 months to really engage the "quitting". It was back in my mind, and I watched a lot of view on why it's better to quit, and why I should "handle" my life more. weed isn't bad as everyone here think, it's part of growth for many people and it shouldn't be seen as an evil plant. It's just that most people mix it with tobacco, and I suspect tobacco ( or any smoking ) [ because smoking is a part of a ritual hard to loose, especially when you do it everyday for years ] to play a huge role in the addiction ( next time I'll use weed, it'll probably be edible if I can and in a low quantity ) I think the problem isn't weed or any product, it depend of your "why" it's a powerful psychedelic that has been misused by everyone, because it's not hard enough to take a toll on your psyche. it put you in the meditative states you can get from meditation without working or "taking your time", so everyone love it, but we can access a better state without any, when times comes. Weed should be respected as your body and stop weed will not solve the problem. if you have no reason to respect your body, you'll take another brick to fill the blank in your mind, believe me, I m an addict, but now I put all my addiction on music. When I need a dose, I listen music. You can't be completely free from all drug, cause the entire world is filled with "drug", your mind work on taking hits. ( everything I m writting here is of course from my own experience and knowledge ) I do not plan to never use it, in fact, I will probably still use it, but in a more respectful manner that has nothing to do with my addiction pattern. the problem is the addiction pattern, not the thing you take for it. I m still in recovery, but I don't have the need for weed at all, I mean, something change in my mind, I don't need weed to have this inner peace I was looking for, it's only the ritual part that is missing and it's started to cloud a lot, I don't think about smoking it since I quit, I try to quit 5 times, every time I quit those times, I always wanted to smoke almost all the days after I quit. It wasn't the same as "quitting for a healthy reason" ( and by healthy I mean nothing about health of body or lung, I mean in the mind ) it's a first good pace to recognize that you are in trouble with something, but maybe weed is just the surface of something else. Try to find what is this something else.

the forum is now running on himself he started to breath ... he is ALIVE !!!

the question is tricky for me right now I m still processing, I wish I could share it with you soon

lol he can put many wall around him, there is none or there is many, it's all dependent of his mind, it has no effect to have a "blocker", just control your mind ( yep it's very difficult work depending where you are ) I didn't used youtube ( or even internet ) for days when I was on my computer doing music even with plenty of internet at hand, it's not because you punish yourself that you'll control yourself

answering your question : maybe I m happy if some people can relate to what I m writting or even help me building a better understanding - create a better understanding for everyone of themself. ( I m not sayin I have it, that's exactly why I share those thoughts ) maybe it's useless ? maybe not. probably don't think about the goal sometimes hope it helps you find your own path and build your life to your own truth, we all try our best I m sure of it, we all are just clumsy sometimes to explain or do things. edit *

maybe, I m frustrated with a lot of things you know, I just learn to live with it, and accept my faith at the best of my capabilities.

please share me his motion if you do it haha <3 *people think I fall into a psychedelic marmite when I was a kid just like Obelix ! sooo I m already on it, I don't need more potion !* ( damn you'll probably not get that no one here it's my mind who makes a reference to a french comic, why ? I don't know but I want to keep it. ), ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asterix#Synopsis_and_characters )

20g a friend did first time, he never touched psychedelic again, I try to persuade him, no way he is fucking afraid. I told him to only use 0.5 g aswell instead of such a high dose

better ! I'll evily will push him to smoke weed with me, he will be like : "ho no no you're too much orange for me, get away from me you neurotic ! not this shit with me" and I'll be like, YOU GIVE ME HOT BATH IT S YOUR TIME FOR THE MEDIUM BATH !!

nice quote

ok word have no meaning I can't explain properly for your mind to grasb me, I'll only have a reflect on the word of the topic, it's non sense the answer I'll get. it's even worst now that I know that no one as answers for anything..

I'll add something to the topic, and would be glad to have insight or your guidance ( books, video, audiobook etc.. ) Yep I did a lot of it I like ASMR for a reason that he makes me feel really high without placebo ( I feel so so so relax with some video ), I even have a mic, and made some once ( but didn't post them ) The problem is like a drug, it start to loose the magic if I do it too much ( something like, or that's just me.. ) and as a musician I cannot listen ASMR all day, it's too much noise, so only for sleep. it helped me more than meditation ( that I never practiced purely ) but I use to smoke and listen 4 hours of music eyes closed everyday for 2 years. ( only focusing on music and not my thought ) I m sure it changed my life as efficiently as meditation ( it's just my way of doing it ) ( music without vocal, trance music a lot, like psytrance or edm like ) my new focus : - dream : subconscious : the impact of doing lucid dreaming ( and how to ) - mind programming / ( music frequency hypnosis ) - is thea a thing / how to use properly substance if I do ( as a musician ... ) - hypnosis on myself ( forget about death, fear, nihilistic topic ) does music with "frequency type: binaural and thing" does it really work ? or full placebo ? - what yoga techniques/meditation for autistic kind of/adhd/weirdo/intp shit and get motivation - why is it bad to be stimulated too much by society ? ( gaming, drug, etc.. ) is it a real thing ? - I don't want to be "blank" I want to feel as good as I was on weed, but without it ( and if possible, even better than on weed ) -> weed isn't the same since LSD, different, it's more "psychedelic" than "highy" . Even know 2 month later, just sayin LSD, put me into a states of mind that have the taste of LSD in my mouth ( is it still in my brain ? ) I mean, I can have this feeling, looking at my hands, everything can looks dreamy, and weed really push me into this trance states now ( do not really makes me effective as I use to be on it ) what LSD changed into myself ? ( I m reading a book about meta programming and LSD .. to understand ) - those are the questions now in the back in my mind if I ask him what 's the trouble I don't want to be out of trouble; Just want to choose my own. I don't want to be a monk or a shaman ( even if mystic told me that I was probably a shaman and a very emotional soul, like 3 different people that I feel good to be with told me so ( they was into psychedelic ) I used LSD because of one of them, ( not because of leo ) I wasn't really into psych when the first one told me that, so it sounded funny when they told me ) I used them; but not that much, 3 trip in 2 years. I Think it made me even more weirdo than before, but now I can handle it as a good thing, that's some form of victory I suppose over my mind, accepting the "me". still fixing years of cannabis use for sleep ( more than a gram a day ), thinking about using CBD oil ( is it efficient ? ) I don't want to feel "good" I want to own my creativity and not being overtaken by it. ( or creativity is a product from stimulation ? ) maybe I m not that "stimulated" as everyone looked like a crazy zomby to me, since I m born ( I m a daydreamer walker, it's written from more than 50 teachers, through all my life ) too much dreamy, he doesn't focus ! ( if in america I would have been on adhd pills ) I've seen a psych 3 years ago, wanted to fill me up with more than 80 mg. ( because I told him 50 wasn't enough ) I just try to see how far they would go, psychiatry is a big rat trap ( to me ) I m not sure that adhd drug is a solution. I used it, but it created new forms of problems even worst than what I called "worst problem", thanks god I only used it for a year and it was already too much I suppose. ( I used less than 30 mg and always with weed )

INTP does that mean anything ? why do you believe it anyway, it's like the science of spirituality, as biased as science don't you think so?

I was about to makes a topic until I reflect it's non sense to ask for real help outside my self, it's my meta work but 6 girls kissed me, I just have no social life situation and I live like a pure autist lonely wolf, I can't see people more than once in a week, and I didn't feel "love" for a girl since 4 years, or "attraction", lot of girl love me, but I feel no attraction for them at all sadly for myself. I m very difficult, and told people that I look for a reflection of my self ( since LSD I realize ) it's not that I m egoic on girl, it's just that nature make us attract our on part. Wanting true love was a misstake, it took me 23 years to get it, already too late in a sense thanks god I m not ugly I m just insane :') pray for me, this is exactly what I reflected today..

10 days for me aswell, no craving, would sell my body for a big joint though ( 3 days out of weed/nicotine tabacco filler) and having a decent night sleep would be fair. it's 8 AM for me I m still not sleepy and 25 years without fucking ! all bow on me please, my power is strong, I never masturbate a lot neither, more bio need and all the porn pic around the internet. when mind recognize shapes. All my problem is curiosity

psychedelic are not a drug, this is why it's better to say "psychedelic". drug are shit like heroine, coke, alcohol. I would say weed is addictive and could possibily fuck your life, but weed is great to use in a limited frame of time ( and not when too ignorant, like being less than 20 ) even at 20 you're ignorant. no drug should never be done before this age, even if you're a smart kid.. ( or in another kind of society, it could be, with different way of doing it, like in a healthy manner for cure the mind ) addiction on it is only mental, but it can be as hard to quit, as a guy who played 14 hours a day World Of Warcraft, and then he is asked to leave it. If you use weed to fullfil a blank in life, it will always be addictive and the answer. But if you use it for personnal understanding, no chance you're getting addicted on it, so I would say : half psychedelic alcohol basicly stop pain of thinking/mind, but stop everything, opiates makes the body not feel anything so easy to love it, it's very very very addictive and dangerous and should be only given to someone who is in physical pain. ( but it's hard to tell ) only good thing pharmacy try to be doing it's not black & white, and drug are only imagination made, an idea, not a divine solid thing, everything is a drug if you put the good human behind it playing on your phone, internet bidding, what the eyes can't see, the eyes don't judge, stupid.

but how can people take 3.5 grams especially the not euphoric one one of the guy I know did 20 grams his first time ( he is the kind of guy who takes 14 mdma pills in a row, so .. I know him, it's not "bullshit story" the guys isn't a boaster at all, he only told to me, because we was close as friend last year ) ( for real, he is not bullshitting, I know him since years, and I recognize lier ) he took once 14 mdma pills on a same row ( and I know his friends, no jokes ) he stoped mdma like this, and do it like very rare ( not even half of it now ) It was his first time using a psychedelic, I m asking my self why he did that, but his friend had a tons of mush and they decide to all takes a lot ( his friend was the insane type of guys ), they could only eat them there, something like ( at amsterdam ). He never did a psychedelic again, and told me he had "blacked out" I asked him many time how it was. but he didn't learn a thing only his friend told him how he was ( still moving ) he recall only the end of the trip, where the drug started to wear off. and that he was angry. today he is doing booze everyday, not individuate on anything, not trying to learn anything about psyche. ( 2 beer mostly or more ) and smoking mostly weed everyday with it, and playing video games. So psychedelic even in heroic dose can have no effect on someone who don't want to learn something from them. ( it's something to notice, instead or putting all the babies in the water ) I tryed to make it try it again, but on a very low dose, not easy, he is affraid af do someone know why, did he really black out ? I don't think he see anything but I m not sure, he told me it was just like blacked out ( told me 3 times on different months, yes I m annoying ), and the thing is, his body was working after he sleeped in a black out, only his friend talk about him bashing stupid non sense on people in the street ( something like ) it was at Amsterdam, so. haha

haha I don't even know how to answer the question, many things, read philosophy books, biology of human brain, social bonding, etc.. ( if you're not really into spirituality and this sound too spooki for your right now ) it's a web of knowledge and personnal observation that assure yourself that there is nothing. People who hated on me, I don't even think about them, it's like they never existed, and their own words doesn't even exist in their mind probably right now. when you know how human mind observe reality this sound trivial to worry about people thinking. When you understand your own bias toward people. ( but you should complete this madness with others things.. not just think "idgafuck" it's more balanced, but if people talk.. let them talk, if many talk, ask yourself if there is something wrong about what you're doing, or why are you hanging with those peoples ) "Lot of people like me, but if they hate me, I feel that pleasurable, they think of me, what loosers, I m working while they empower me talking about me." ( before spiritual realisation ) this is kind of the mindset, or just discover nature of reality and be aware that everyone is lost cause in intellectual manner. who can judge you ? a human being ? a society ? be "above" all those ants concept. Your mind is the realm. if you live through the judgement of others you can only walk backward.

yep, no one can cure yourself, everytime here someone point with his fingers, you fucking describe his hand, not even his finger. And the moon is not even a thing you consider haha : I would say, go in China, you'll see if girls don't like you. it's all a matter of bubble

yep only true for me, I can't give you the truth.. no one can, there is none. I can only give you mine. I have pointing the fact that I m not ugly on a basic, this is maybe "why", I m not saying you're ugly, and many ugly people makes it anyway, by cultivating other point of their mindset.. ( what is "ugly" anyway ) if you focus on your flaw instead of your strenght, everything you believe, is always true, if you can't love yourself, why a girl would love you ? who can love you ? instead of complaining, complaining, complaining. First work before "loving girl" is "love yourself" and it's the "secret", but if you hated yourself so many years, it's hard to persuade your subconscious, that you have "value".

humm you don't see the point, I don't play video games since more than 4 years.. only with some friends at their home. You just want to see how flawed my reasoning is, your choice. I m trying to push you to see others situation than yours, but you don't want to. I aswell want a girlfriend but don't complain anymore about not having one, time comes when my mind want it, not other way. ( I want a girlfriend "hard" I m very curious, it kills me to not know, and I never had intimacy : my old mindset ) I complain about not having girlfriend like many years.. ( no more ) it's when you don't look for girlfriend that you get one.. that's fucking idiot, but this is how it happen'd ( my kisses with girls ) Do you really think that having sex and having intimacy will last for eternity and cure your suffering ? I m not even denying that you need it. I m denying it will cure you at last but if you want it for cure something, you'll never cure anything, put a nicotine patch on someone who like to smoke 50 cigarets a day will do nothing. ( it's a "magic pill philosophy" ) See for yourself, I m not telling you to believe me, I m telling you, where does come all your believe about ' I need that to be happy, or this ' it's a fucking lie to yourself in hope to "cure" and this guy "win" his life aswell, good grades, girlfriend, still good in marketing and doing what he wants. what do you call a winning life ? ( this post has been edited )

I never had love neither so I can talk on this topic ( I m 25 soon ), see the limit of my nihilim ( nihilism even if "true" is a delusion as "love" is ) why fix your attention on nihilism and bad things, if that's the thing you don't want ? it takes time to cure this habit, it's a work daily for more than a month, it's about focusing on the work on yourself and never complain about no result, because result appear when you push for real and challenge your own thinking. If love is stupid, why nihilism is smart ? And you want to know something.. I m beautiful and many girls love me. I m just very very autistic and don't know what I want from a relationship ( the truth ) before I was saying "girl don't want me because x" now I can see the flaw in myself. You think people have better life because they have "sex" ? my brother is not "aware" or very spiritual, he has a BEAUTIFUL girlfriend, very kind and smart.. ( maybe too "normal" though ) but he have plenty of sex, guess what, HE COMPLAIN, he would prefer play video games and have his own time. ( and he has everything most people want ) and he is doing and want exactly what "lonely people" do. ( he even buy a big computer for playing games last week ) he even lie to his girlfriend to play more sometimes.. so .. happy ? I m happy to push on him now some "budhism philosophy" I think it helped him a lot. ( he was a very "angry kid" before ). And guess what, he has sex with girl since more than 5 years ( he is 22 y ), and I m still virgin ( I don't care really, like really, not like a lie to myself ) I didn't have for a reason, and thinking about "why" isn't doing anything anyway, there is no answer to a "why" for this, and every answer I can have for it, will be "negative" or "positive" depending on my thinking/emotion, not on a " personnal global reason" I have another friend who had many girlfriends and in love ( he loved his girlfriend for real ) ( for 8 years ) he masturbated everyday like 3-4 times ( he told us, he don't care, he is a funny friend ), but when he prefered smoked weed ( and his girlfriend had a problem with family drug, so she kind of left him after a year ) but .. life goes on it's a fucking joke, but you can understand that, the mind is the only thing that trick you ( and you subconscious belief ) how to fix ' bad belief ' by watching more "large" looser complain, winner improve, and I learn the lesson from another friend who played league of legend and was top 500 world top ( a game who has more than 5 000 000 player ). ( I've seen him change from "middle looser" -> like me and my team, to him GROWING HIS MINDSET, playing to win, complaining about HIS OWN failure ) he even created another account, he win 25 times in a row, without never loosing. ( he pushed 3 accounts to rank "diamond" just to show people, there is no "luck" ) guess what ? 90% of people on league of legend complain being with NOOB. When the only shitty noob is them and their mindset of looser. My friend played to win, when he had dumb people, what was his mind guess ? "I should be even stronger to cary all this stupidity !" He was an unaware enlightened player haha just knowing this friend told me a lot about what you can change, only by changing yourself, ( so even video games can teach you things ! )

Better way to deal with it .. is art not heroin. If you want to abuse one stupid drug. Do weed everyday.. Music cure the soul it's not a joke go for a try take a D.a.w for free if you have no monney and average pc'mac Drawing help calm.anxiety.. no joking. Heroin will destroy you. One of my dealer was an addict at 16 he told me on eyes to never do it very friendly after telling me why he do it ( parent hated him ). ( Yep lol he was selling mainly weed. )