Recursoinominado

@How to be wise Thank you for your answers, for sure i am making a lot of assumptions (which are only thought), i think it bothers me that the "i" i think i am never done shit. I often see your recommendation of The Work by Bryon Kate, i listened to the audiobook but never really did the work, you have some tips or a workbook that i can start without having to read the whole book? @Mu_ I love Alan Watts! Although i already knew about all those ideas, i never had a genuine grasp, experientially, but i see some of the depth of it and a motivation is growing in me to inquire about it. This concept of thoughts just arising is mind-blowing. @Serotoninluv This is kind of exciting, i am on this path for a few years and it is really a spiral, you come back to old ideas only to dive deeper and grasp more of it and i am seeing how i am being led to investigate enlightenment, contemplation, free will, thoughts etc. @Arkandeus That's deep, fuck. @Misagh What you said about the heart beating is a good analogy, in fact, most of the time, i don't feel my heart beating but it is. I would love some further explanation. @Shiva I understand this, my goal here is to grasp the depth of this topic to motivate myself in its investigation (direct experience). I am into spirituality for some time but only a couple of weeks ago i am starting to grasp the importance of self-inquiry and contemplation.

Brazil have a large population of extremely poor people when Lula was elected in 2002, hundreds of people (including children) died of hunger every single day, he was the first one to try to help those people and succeeded elevating millions above this situation and made a good govern overall. The thing is, he is no saint, although he helped millions (making he extremely popular), his political party (in which he was the leader to this day) is known to be extremely corrupt with lots of scandals for years on end and refuse to accept any blame. This made the other half of the Brazils population(mostly right wings, white middle class and rich people, mostly blue with some red) HATE him and his political party and vote for anyone who poses against it. So, in resume, Lula helped millions but, in my opinion, isn't a saint but, in fact, probably corrupt and power thirst as fuck(orange with some green). The thing is, this led to the rising of Bolsonaro(blue with some red), a dumb incompetent, racist, homophobic, military, angry, aggressive politician who says that "the minorities should bend over to the majority" which poses as a "new solution" to the heavy systemic corruption that we see in Brazil. Bolsonaro gave voice to those racist angry right wings who before would kept their prejudices to themselves, today they scream that gays will be killed and stuff like that. Its a bit scary to be honest, there are reports of gays, women, poor people and everyone that isn't in favor of Bolsonaro being attacked and even killed by his followers all over the country.

Brazilian here. Bolsonaro is red/blue, as most of Brazil population (this fact was exposed by the unstoppable rising of bolsonaro). It is a extreme reaction to green ideals, we are living in dangerous times, seriously considering in packing my things and try my luck at some better place, Brazil is much more fucked up that I imagined (and I wasn't optimistic before) , we are going to pass through some rough times before we evolve as a collective ego to at least orange/green(could take hundreds of years).

The addictive potential of weed is no joke, speaking from personal experience.

I had a HUGE ego backlash when it was over, spent months gorging in unhealthy habits, foods, drugs, couldn't meditate at all. Today i understand that i probably had a kundalini awakening there which forced my third eye to open way before my other chakras making me ungrounded as fuck (i was spacey, confused, full of anger, anxiety). Took me a year to learn what just happened because nobody could explain to me why i felt worse after the retreat and all advice i receive was "keep meditating" which i couldn't because it made the symptoms worse every time i tried. BUT, i highly recommend it, its a giant challenge, i had a glimpse of how fucked i was once i was stripped of all distractions and "forced" to meditate 10h a day for 10 days. It was hardcore to say the least. Later i went back as a server to work in the kitchen for another 10-days retreat and i plan to sit in another one next year.

This is beautiful, really close to my dmt trips.

Can be pretty intense, i had a number of weed trips that were harder to handle than LSD or mushrooms. I am in favor of weed but do not underestimate its potency.

Yes, it's a potent experience. Surrender, surrender, surrender, relax all your body, send love to the painful parts. When I did 4.5g of mushrooms, I practiced the above and had a Insight about surrender and relaxation = one with the flow of live and divine intelligence. When I feel a pain in some part of my body I just surrender and it usually desapears, especially when I feel back pains (those are mostly excess of kundalini energy in some blocked area). Lots of healing and insights comes naturally from this.

As my awareness expands, i am seeing more and more that i am full of shit. My shadow side runs my life and i just cover it with a spiritual, nice persona. As i go deeper in my path, i feel that i am feeling "worse" than before, although i occasionally have some blissful moments. Maybe it isn't the "same" feelings, maybe are deeper ones, my worst fears now, that's why it seems worse. This feeling is similar to the one i felt on the worst times of my life and decided to do something about it pursuing self-development (i was kind of successful with making friends, working out, picking up girls and only discovered spirituality several years later). I am trying to handle as best as i can, i consider myself as a relatively stable person (even tough i deal with fucked up shit al the time in my family situation) but sometimes i have doubts that i am going to succeed and feel hopelessness until i start doubting if i am not going to go insane if i go deeper. The thing is, this process is being done by itself, i have little to NO control over, i am really not doing formal spiritual practices but i have a contemplative mind, especially under psychedelics. Maybe it's what they call Dark Night of the Soul, i am afraid that is taking way to long that i can handle and is getting worse every day (at least is my subjective experience in my body).

This sounds awesome! Happy for you with a hint of envy lol Now i am motivated to practice self-inquiry. Tell us more about your experience, are you still feeling something? You can still "see" your realizations?

@lmfao That's a good reminder, rough nonetheless to keep a positive mindset amidst all the turmoil. @Outer I need to self-inquiry more, only do it when i remember throughout the day. But i notice that when i do it, i am instantly present. @PsiloPutty That's also a nice reminder, i will keep in mind that it's the healing taking place. @SgtPepper I am guilty of using my mind too much on this path but it also made me aware of everything i am.

Serious truth bombs, Leo delivering golden insights for free. I highly appreciate your work, @Leo Gura. Even best is how you make the effort to warn us about the trap of idealizing you (or anyone else), but do the work and experience for ourselves. Just realized that i am way less serious about enlightenment that i thought, i was thinking that i was special and somehow would eventually reach the goal spontaneously, not by being strategic about my spiritual growth like making myself meditate every day no matter the costs or read books for hours, taking notes and contemplating about it. Dedication and discipline IS a consequence of our love for something.

Well, I used rape in a ayahuasca cerimone but it was awful, vomiting, nauseated and felt nothing positive(it was after the ayahuasca effects worn off) .

Hahahahahaha so true

As a spiritual practice, I would suggest trying to relax in all situations, with all thoughts and feelings, even the ones you spoke about in this thread, this will transform your into a super conductor, nothing will stick and everything will be healed.

Enlightment isn't escape, it's the ultimate acceptance of all, especially what you call bad things.

1h and 50 minutes, in a vipassana retreat. The last 50 minutes were hell but when it was over, I was almost levitating.

Infinite, by definition, implies all possibilities, including suffering. See, if you reach enlightment, you get to know your infinite nature and you see is all a illusion, like a play or a movie that the actors don't know they are into a make believe story. When you see this, suddenly all is perfect and all is beautiful, even the worst situations like rape or murder. You know it's fake when you see on a movie, right? And, if you are aware enough, not only you won't be bordered by it but you will even appreciate it and call it a good movie.

Well, maybe if you are a infinite being, you KNOW that it is all an illusion and you are kind of bored, earth seems an amazing adventure.

Great thread, super important topic. It would be great if people share reports of successful opening their hearts, how they did it and what changed. I see to many techniques but I don't commit seriously to any of them them because I don't really believe it will work.

I will make an effort to trip more often

I noticed that when i use psychedelics, i feel smart, my vocabulary is better and can express complex topics in a comprehensive way for most people. It bothers me that when i am sober i have lots of problems doing the same things. I know that generally, people like their "drugged-self" more since drugs like alcohol, cocaine, and MDMA can make you less anxious, fearful and overanalytical but psychedelics are different, they can make you anxious if you can't handle your shit, especially in social contexts. I am usually introverted like most of you guys but when i use psychedelics (even weed) i can talk a LOT and in a smart way that even surprises me every single time (except when i am so high that i can't even keep a line of thought without getting distracted). Not only that but i get hopeful, courageous, empathetic, sincere, motivated. When i use ayahuasca i feel like a total BOSS, my voice gets deep as fuck, i speak like a man, full of confidence, i am proud of myself, is like a know who i am and that i can do anything. Normally i have LOTs of limiting beliefs (being dumb, destined to fail, not enough, incompetent etc), i know that they aren't true but i feel like they are and i am deep on this self-improvement path to transcend all limiting beliefs, i know its ALL in my head but when i use psychedelics they all seems to disappear at moments. I fucking love my "higher-self" Edit: I forgot one thing: i tend to have LOTs of deep insights when i am on psychedelics (including weed), its almost guaranteed. To the point that i was smoking way too much weed in order to generate insights, especially when i feel stuck in a problem. I noticed that i tend to contemplate about everything naturally but when i am on psychedelics i enter in full contemplation mode.

Thank you, i hope you are right

I saw this video, what a synchronicity! I am gaining awareness of my core wounds but don't know exactly what to do. I think I have all of them lol. I had a dysfunctional family growing up, today I totally lack self worth, boundaries, seek approval and so I fear success, failure, I self sabotage every single chance I get which is making me stuck in life. I don't feel that I deserve good things, always assume the worse and don't give any credit for myself for anything. This creates lots of problems, resistances, self limiting beliefs which I try to overcome but I always feel like I am fighting an uphill battle and if I stop for one moment, I fall back to my old behaviors hard. For some reason, I had a vision and a feeling that I was neglected as a baby by my mother (she always was highly dysfunctional, narcissist with lots of wounds that she projected on me).