thehero

I can't take it anymore. I feel so incapable. I've gotten a lot of neurofeedback and feel so much better but still it's so hard. I want to DIE. I feel so incapable......... i cant do it. it's so hard. i want to end it................. what do i do my fears consume me. i don't know what to do. FEAR runs my LIFE. i feel under constant attack under my mind. literally. it's like in the movie dunkirk i just keep getting bombed and bombed. I want to walk into the ocean like that guy and give up. i should be more specific. I'm afraid of my mind. it's a deep ridden fear. i'm so scared of myself. someone give me some tips.

@John Iverson I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO...... i have so much pressure to make money but the pain in my mind is CHIPPING AT MY SOUL. i cant breathe... should i stop my business to focus on my mental health? i need money badly... my parents expect it from me and if i dont get it im forced to go back to college for one WHOLE YEAR. i only have 6 months to make the money. help me. i feel so pressured and i cant do this school bullshit i am an autodidact now...

dude I'm the same way. I haven't let myself suffer in so long because of the newfound hope i've gotten from self development. but I suffer once every two months. and this suffering feels GOOD. SO GOOD. I remember back in my super high suicide days a year ago, I would intentionally hate on myself and pity myself and just keep doing it and it felt good to do that. I could see myself hating on myself yet I would still do it.... If I have a small problem I would be like FUCK IT I WANT TO DIE. and that feeling of self-pity and victimhood would feel good. It's like I preferred to suffer over being happy. Christ... I too would like to thank Leo for saving my life though. Without him and another youtuber, I don't know if I would be alive.