lostmedstudent

what have you tried so far in terms of diet change and pharmacological treatment? are you overweight ?

@Nahm it happens immediately following the comedown of the trip. , last the whole day. i took a nap then slept 10hrs the night, and felt better the next morning. i was taking the vitamins you mentioned and drinking water and eating fruits. whats BMI?

which vitamins and nootropics do you recommend? time for experimentation then thanks for the input everyone. seems like headache is pretty common with mushrooms.

@dflores321 I tripped at 9:30am after a good night of sleep. Ive tripped in the evening before and it doesnt feel like that time thanks @Leo Gura i will try some supplements. For me it wasnt even the next day. It was immediately after the come down of the trip . I tripped in the morning. After the comedown, I had to nap, then that night i slept 10hours and the next day i felt better. Dont thiink i was sleep deprived the day before either.

@exhale great advice. i appreciate you taking the time to read my story and write back much love

***This is a big deal for me but everything is relative so keep that in mind *** i am still recovering psychologically from this huge "relative" failure. i finished medical school this year and i did not match into my specialty of choice. i wanted to become a psychiatrist. unfortunately, it did not work out (it was a very competitive process). i matched in family medicine and had to face a lot of doubt and rejection during a brutal 5 months application period. i worked hard all throughout medical school to build my CV, extracurricular, spent 100s of hours drafting my motivation letter, working on my file, getting the connections, then i got rejected by 10 programs even before the interview. i traveled across the country to attend 10 interviews, and ended up in my 7th choice. it was a big slap in the face. it was one of the shittiest feeling ive ever felt. the day that i found out , felt like the world crashing down. we are now almost 3 months since, i dont know how many times i cried over it and there are still days where it hurts me to think about how things unfolded. i worked a lot on myself during the past 3 months, meditating, contemplating, accepting my reality, but the more i think, the more confused i get. So i stop thinking, because then i feel more at peace. but stop thinking doesnt help me move on because the psychological wound still sits inside me. overall i am better, but there are still days where i break into tears, days where i feel like a failure, i feel dark and lost. i have a few options ahead of me. i could try to match in psychiatry again (chances are slimmer, but present. i could even try forever, i can reapply every year... but how far can you really go... how long can you keep the hope up... or i could accept and move on. so far i have tried to accept to move on, but i dont feel happy. i havent started working yet as a family medicine resident, so my opinion about it might change. i might actually love it and be okay with it. (i dont hate family med, i just feel bad about doing something that i didnt choose). i can tell i have a lot of resentment towards this whole process, the medical system, and even my peers (many of my friends are in the same boat or worse than me). i want to know: how can i really dig into this emotional resentment and release it? there are days where i feel a ball in my chest and i just wanna cry but cant. how can i truly grow from this experience? i am still hung up on the failure? its 5 years of my life where i just did medical school stuff, 5 months of intense stress that ultimately brought this emotional baggage of not getting what i want. how to deal with this ?? the wound is deeper than i thought. how do i know where my heart is ? how do i follow my heart in this situation? @Leo Gura could you give me some words of wisdom and inspiration?

@Nobody_Here thank you its an eternal battle inside of me. i will see where my heart leads me but i do wanna give psychiatry another try. I feel like i didnt try hard enough you gave me a different perspective so thanks for that

@amyjackson @ArslanGhaffor seems like 2 bots here. @bejapuskas @allislove @Michael569

@Artsu what do you do for a living, if you dont mind me asking ?

@BroccoliSalad Hey thank you for sharing your story. I resonated with so many of the things you said partly because i was in the same boat of indecision when i was in medical school (in canada), not knowing what i want and feeling like my life is heading into an unknown/wrong direction. I have always had the dream of going to california as well, but never even had the guts to actualize it. So kudos to you for having a clear vision of your future! I had a lot of parental pressure, and given the promising job / salary / socio-economic prospect that becoming a doctor offers, i decided to continue and i have now graduated. I wanted to become a psychiatrist as well, but things did not turn out the way i wanted and i am now a family doctor. I can't say i regretted not dropping out, but i cannot say this is the life i want either. However, i am in a very fortunate position because i am financially independent and i can afford taking time and a step back to re-evaluate my life. I think you already know a lot more about what you wanted than i did when i was in medical school. in the end of the day, no one can tell you what to do. you just have to follow your heart. My advice would be, can you somehow move to California FIRST with your dad, then figure things out from there? It sounds like the easiest way, especially when your dad is a citizen and has settled in USA. you'd at least be in your dream location. The thing about medical school and becoming a psychiatrist is that its so time consuming (4 years of medical school + 5 years of residency). are you willing to wait 4+ years to find out whether you even have a chance of going to the US for residency? iF you don't match to a USA residency (which is highly possible), or if you don't match into psychiatry, what will you do? from what you wrote, it seems that you have a lot of options ahead of you in terms of career (not limited to medicine), but moving to California seems like a bigger back ground goal. Given your interests in more creative things and mainly psychotherapy, i would say medical school is somewhat closing the doors for you, as you are way more likely to build your dream career going through another route (psychotherapy, researcher, psychologist etc). Although medical school might give you an advantage in terms of visa, but we are talking 4 + years from now, so many things can happen in that time frame. Not to discourage you from medical school either, because if you keep an open mind, medical school can open you up to new career prospects you never considered before. You might discover something you never would consider interesting before. but again, it seeems like you already have a clear notion of what you like and what you dont. Ive met colleagues in medical school who are in just so they can become psychiatrists, so its definitely not wrong to go in only for 1 specialty. Anyway, i think you cant go wrong if you just follow your heart good luck

it all looks nice on the outside. but i dont actually feel that way. there are days where i feel really out of alignment with my life vision, days where i feel like im a total imposter and alien compared to the rest of the medical community. for the most part. i have been struggling a lot, questioning everyday whether this is what im meant to do. theres no real difference between you and me. i have never worked my entire life until i started working as a resident. so before that, we were in the same boat. and we still are in the sense that i just followed the path that was layed out for me. and now i get paid. so i didnt carve out a path for myself either. the pôint is, dont compare yourself with others, because everything looks more glam from the outside. you are doing great and dont stop believing yourself!

hey, dont blame yourself like that. you did the best you could given the circumstances and information you had at the time you made the decision. everything is okay. if you didnt drop out, youd wonder forever what if, what would happen. grass is always greener on the other side, dont lose hope! keep it up! there are people in way worse situations! things will be better eventually and everything is happening so you can learn and grow from it! dont look at things so negatively. i know its way easier said than done, but you have to believe in yourself! <3 <3 <3

haha i feel you! you are a great writer! it feels like im watching a movie or reading a fiction about your life! id totally watch your vlogs hahah. keep up the good work!

thanks for sharing this. you write so beautifully

and what happened after you tried nofap? why is it that some people can come 6 times in a row like you and other cannot ? its not healthy i imagine to come this many times ?!?

how do you know 15min does it the same as 2h

so i understand a guy can build up his attractiveness by doing pickup and socializing with girls in public. so what can a average looking or even below average looking girl do to find love or partner??

here is a video i made documenting my progress with my own insights, for those interested

@WaveInTheOcean thanks <3

but when we die, the world goes on for everyone else on this planet no? or do they not exist because its only a projection of my mind. i cannot imagine it to be any other way than if i die, my parents will live the sorrow of my death and their lives will continue.

its astounding the things people spend their time on....... lol

so you dont think people are poly-amorous by nature?

i have never experienced a simultaneous orgasm. i imagine it to be quite common. for those who are able to achieve it, can you share some tips?

@LfcCharlie4 thanks !!!!!!! i tried his cheesy brocoli soup yesterday was super simple and easy to make! thanks for the share!!! appreciate it

@mandyjw yup i usually stretch right after my run for 30min! i feel very tight in my legs if i dont stretch @loub thank you!! i will incorporate that in my daily routine! i do yin yoga type stretches everyday thats a good explanation for what im experiencing , not feeling discouraged yin yoga focuses on breathing, this one you linked says to hold the breath, why is that? how long do you hold it for usually?