kieranperez

Happy for you. But that’s also you. People have a unique matrix of issues that require different routes involving different types of solutions. The mistake is to make blanket statements as though contemplation of ones death will do for all or even most others what it did for you.

I don’t think most advanced saints, sages, mystics, yogis, etc. are going to be able to touch the heart of gang members, thugs, and in the hood in East LA or East Oakland or Neo Nazis and KKk members in Texas. Those people attract a certain people at certain levels of development. Hell, look at Christ. How did that enlightenment thing and massive universal unconditional love end up working out? Got him killed and didn’t fundamentally change the people who did that to him. Couldn’t even touch them.

“Never argue with a stupid person. If you do they will pull you down to their level. Then they will beat you with their experience.” - Om Swami

He didn’t even inhale dude. Chill

He had me at “a company is essentially a cybernetic collective of people and machines. That’s a what a company is.”

That’s terrifying good god

I’m not going to speak for anyone on here but I can say for myself how much I really fucking got from this video on ending wage slavery. Right now I feel really cornered in my life by my own doing from years of neglect, victimhood, half assing shit, talking shit about what I’m going to do, etc. Right now I really feel both excited and scared because I do have my life purpose and it feels aligned on a level far deeper than where my character is given my current level of development. However I don’t have a lot going for me for reasons that would take too long to get into. Im sharing this because I really hope we can really appreciate (not in some sort “oh thank you Leo my guru” nonsense) when someone says “YOU’RE ABOUT TO CORNER YOURSELF FOREVER! GET OUT NOW THIS WAY! ITS LONGER AND HARDER THAN THE SHORTCUT EVERYONE ELSE IS TAKING BUT THAT SHORTCUT LEADA TO A PIT OF SNAKES!” I dont know about you but I appreciate when someone shatters my expectations and they give me those chills down my spine from how naive, lazy, mayopic, and sloth like I’ve been and grab me by the hair and show me the work ahead. I appreciate it because it’s real honesty. It’s not what I want to hear, granted but at the same time, it is because if it wasn’t for a lot of this amount of straightforwardness I get through Actualized.org literally has me so much more aware of when I notice my mind wanting to start a business, take an easier and more financially secure path, etc. I see that and I literally feel like this inner emergency break being pulled before I go down that path or even when I start. I can literally see ahead for myself when certain shortcut ideas I get pop up or even when I see it for other people. I can see the dead end trap with their happiness, their career, relationship, initially successful YouTube channel, whatever it is. One of the key points I think I really took to heart that I think was unique from all the other awesome and important points was figuring it out. I can’t keep going here to the forum always asking questions and for help figuring out my problem. That’s being a pussy and not having any ownership to get out of the mess I’m in. Struggle through the creative process of giving so much in a way that’s deeply meaningful because that will be a struggle in trying to serve people who conscious value to their lives when they’d rather just be fed delusions that put them more asleep because delusion tastes and feels good and it takes persistence and a drive to want to help the world that much. Thank you Leo. I’m not going to execute on this perfectly at all as I have a lot of obstacles ahead (cognitive ones, emotional ones, spiritual ones, mental ones, financial ones, creative ones, hell even physical ones) and I honestly don’t know yet how I’m going to do this but I have my vision to be an original sage (which I actually think is an under appreciated characteristic of great sages) and not just wannabe Buddha, Ralston, Christ, or Leo or whoever you wanna throw out there.

This is such an important topic and trap I’m finding myself at risk of going into for sure. First recommendation: read the memoir in @Leo Gura‘s booklist in the enlightenment section. That monk is a great example of what it means to have both a positive and a healthy drive towards this path. Not going into this path of enlightenment from a place of deficiency, which leads me to my personal 2 cents on this matter. I think it’s worth chatting yourself on Maslow’s hierarchy on this and analyze within yourself where you are mentally and emotionally. Idk how deep you really want to go with this path but I urge you to really look within honestly and question how much out of this do you want and really contemplate and do some homework on what people actually do and go through in this path so that you can be honest and disabused about any fantasies about this path. Once you really contemplate and start to get an idea, really look within and be honest with yourself and ask ‘is that something I can handle right now? Is my character right now strong enough for that?’ It’s important to be honest about this because I think going into this work when you’re still coming from a place of lack and deficiency can really limit growth towards enlightenment and actually cause more harm than good. Also because the risk of zen devilry is really high too. I think if you still have a lot more room to grow with stuff like certain emotional issues, self-esteem (self-respect and self-efficacy), confidence, trauma, shadow stuff, etc. pursue meditation and contemplation still daily but really strengthen and also heal your character before you go all in and balls to the wall. Build the momentum. I hope this helps! All the best! And remember, this is just my perspective and certainly not my only one. However, I find it to be a very relevant and important one.

Want to create a megathread for those who are really committed to this path and could really use help with some assistance from a master. Would like this thread to be made focused specifically on apprenticeships NOT intensives, workshops, etc. I only know of a few to get this started: Peter Ralston’s Apprenticeship: http://chenghsin.com/apprentice-program-consciousness.html Peter Ralston’s 3 Month Program: http://chenghsin.com/workshop-threemonthtraining.html San Francisco Zen Center: http://sfzc.org/tassajara/zen-practice-and-training-at-tassajara/work-and-stay/apprenticeship-programs/work-practice-apprenticeships Peter is someone you can email with questions. These people are available. I couldn’t believe the first time I emailed him, I heard back in less than a day. I personally am not much of a fan of the San Francisco Zen Center but that’s more because I live 3 blocks from it and quite frankly I’m tired of it here in the city and I know that the Zen Center here can’t really be all it can be because it has to play nice within an Orange city (also Green but SFZC is located in a very densely Orange part of SF) and put on a very tame and cute Stage agreement welcoming community. However, I hear that the apprenticeship itself (which you can take quite far in duration and depth) is much different. Also, it’s free.

So right now I'm finishing up with the Life Purpose course, have really been taking time each day for a few hours to really listen to my intuition and I'm really sensing the amount of change I need to make to the structure, setting, and way I live my life and who I am. I mean, orders of magnitude of change not only of the external but of course more so the internal. Basically what I've been coming to more and more and more is this inner need to become a sage. However, I don't like using that word sometimes because I think it deceives other people and even me when I say that. I don't want to be a sage because I want to be this "great" person or something. I really mean that I just want to get to the bottom of life to the core of it all. The more I contemplate my death the more I'm like 'I can't live my life the way most people live. I can't just die not knowing this stuff. I need to actually understand this world not on the absolute level but also on the relative.' I really spend time thinking like 'what does it really take to do what Jesus did? Or Buddha, Da Vinci, sages of the past and even of the present? What do I need to do to understand life, reality, myself, etc. to that degree? Where this get's tricky and really emotionally unsettling and discouraging is when I bring myself back down from my vision of what I can intuit might be possible for me back to where I am now. I mean, I don't have much money for myself personally, I work at a part-time job in retail that I absolutely resent, I didn't go to college, I live at home with my dad who I have no relationship with anymore and, if I'm really honest with myself and all of you, I'm like a man-child almost there (I'm 23 years old) it feels like because I just go back and forth between home and work and driving around and stopping to meditate for a few hours, reading, journaling etc. I haven't established a foundation of a strong hard work ethic in a long time (from years of failing in high school because I was suicidal then to failing in my sport, to a home that was spelled with almost daily threats of suicide from my mom and her own mental illness, I just began giving up more and more), I've really lost integrity with myself and my commitments/goals/projects/endeavors because of this habit of quitting, to just getting off 6 psych medications this year (1 of them, Adderall, I was on for 17 years), I live in the most expensive city in the USA to live (San Francisco) etc. On the one hand I can actually see myself being able to reach that sort of level in some sort of case (I'm not saying I'm going to create art like Da Vinci, or be a sage like that of Christ). What's stumping me is the common question of "how?" I just don't really know of where I can or should start given where I'm at both in terms of circumstances but also where I'm given my own personal development... which isn't far along at all. I've read the book on @Leo Gura's booklist on the memoir of the monk who gave up everything after hitting the height of his material success but I also have to acknowledge that I really don't have that foundation of confidence in myself, discipline, and the integrity with myself and my word to pull something like that off... at least on my own. I contemplate a lot about how I can start some sort of business to fuel this endeavor but I don't want to be like a bunch of other people I see now who just try to copy Leo in some fashion or another and I also don't really know what I really want in terms of my specific medium. On the one hand I really want to go all out on this path of towards full and complete enlightenment because I really want to know what this reality is and that whole lot but also because in my own research alone I see in people how much enlightenment can empower and enhance learning about different things and different endeavors in my life which can fuel my life purpose as a career. Yet... I don't want to trap myself but studying just one facet of non-duality but just going to a monastery or ashram and just following that and limiting myself to a particular culture's perspective of the Truth. I also feel resistant because (well 1. I'm afraid, but 2...) I don't want this to be a form of escapism all because I don't have a career, feel inadequate, etc. I know my drive itself is authentic, I just don't know about my path towards realizing it. I'm not asking to just "tell me what to do!" I'm more asking, how would you go about this? How would you really attack this? Down to hear whatever you guys have in mind. As always, thanks!

Radical Honesty, and both Book of Not + Pursuing Consciousness by Ralston See and get rid of all beliefs.

Shit isn’t gonna land in my lap from posting stuff and thinking that’s enough and then kicking back and relaxing Thanks though.

“Cows aren’t the only animal that say mu”

@Charlotte not to sound cold but this is for you to figure out. You’re asking someone else ‘is my life purpose authentic to me?’ That’s like asking of me ‘can you interpret my thoughts for me?’ When the, whole problem with that is that you’re the only one that can discover that. No one else here can know you better than you. I’m not making claims regarding consciosness and enlightenment and all that because that’s just another way of you avoiding the responsibility and need to uncover this stuff for yourself. Don’t subject your duty of finding out what your relative role is to someone else. That’s your job, and quite a fun, exhilarating, yet tough job to have. Stop asking people to supply more ideas on what selfishness is, evil, good, etc. YOU need to discover that. Even if someone gave you the answers to this stuff (which they do all the time), it means absolutely nothing because that’s their answer (that they hopefully discovered for themselves too). Create the impact you want to have based on something you’re passionate about and do it. Even if you go through the life’s purpose course, at the end of the day, the questions you face aren’t rocket science. They’re simple questions and exercises that people don’t take the time to actually ask (much less answer) themselves outside of paying $250. Transform yourself and transcend your selfishness AS you pursue your LP.

Why? I have all of his main books except The Genius of Being (about to though).

Leo referenced this in his video on Islam: https://www.amazon.com/Confucius-Buddha-Jesus-and-Muhammad/dp/B00DTNWIWI Free if you get it by adding a new audible account

Ralston talking about his story of understanding pain while having his nerve in his mouth drilled for root canal: ”What I found was that not onl was I able to experience the whole procedure without pain, I had the opportunity to play around a bit. As I say there I noticed that I felt I had to remain serious and control my mind. It occurred to me to ask myself: why? If I can keep myself from creating pain, why do u have to be serious about controlling it? I can also stop creating the distinctions “serious” or “controlling.” So I dropped that disposition, relaxed, and began flirting with the nurse. Still no pain” Im literally laughing my ass off at this level of mastery.

I bought the life purpose over a year ago and I honestly have spent a year off and on really working at this course. I've faced so much emotional resistance finishing the course. I've started, got through half, quit, start over, got a little farther, quit, started up again, finished even less, etc. Well I finally took some time and just admitted a week or so ago that I'm going to get the most out of this course and I'm not going to force my answers and the discovery process which was really what I was doing in the past. I just came to the conclusion that I'm going take however much time needs to be taken to finish this but I'm going to relaxed and if it takes another year then fine, because my life purpose is worth getting fucking right. As of less than an 20 minutes ago I can honestly say I've never been able to honestly and accurately describe myself and my authentic motives, top ability, the theme and impact I want my life to have, and strengths. So here it is... My life purpose: To use my higher conscious understanding to help people find out the truth of who they really are and guide them to their highest possibilities... Every word in that has been so finely chosen, tuned, and deliberate in it's sequence. The ability part "my higher conscious understanding" was really the final piece that solidified all this together. I've spent months really frustrated in such strong victim mindset about my abilities and eventually I was just producing mechanical answers to the process. Once I really uncovered that I literally just spent like a minute with my jaw dropped because it's always been that. This whole sentence describes and explains what I've always been about in some way shape or form since I was like 3 years old. How despite my changes in world view, specific passions for certain activities, etc. this has always been the same. My Top 10 Values: Truth/Consciousness Self-Actualizaton Independence Love Wisdom/Learning/Understanding Authenticity Grit Mastery Purpose/Vision Nature My Top 5 Strengths: Bravery & Valor Perspective Wisdom Honesty, Authenticity, and Genuineness Appreciation of Beauty & Excellence Love of Learning I wanted to share this for 2 reasons: Thanks @Leo Gura for all the amount of unusually high amount of value you give that has actual become a norm for us on here. Can't describe my appreciation for what you do and will continue to do. To share with people that this is something worth getting right. I bought this course over a year ago and it took me till now to finish to get this right. When it comes to your life's work and your ultimate intent, take all the time you need to get this done. I had to deal with so much stubborn and crippling victim mindset just to get through this course where I'm literally in tears and about to apply for another shit job just to make more money to move 'and then figure it out later.' If you're still one of those people that's too stubborn to invest in the only life you'll have (or be able to consciously look back on), cut that shit. This is so worth it regardless of how successful you actually become with your life purpose.

@Leo Gura @Max_V I've actually really been struggling with this myself in terms of finding my medium. My ZoG is contemplation and explaining. My domain of mastery is consciousness work (however I could definitely and also probably very do-ably fit in my passion and already solid understanding of distance running in there too) . The thing about connecting spirituality/consciousness work with my life purpose is that it just feels deep down like this sense of imposter syndrome of 'who am I to talk about spirituality and enlightenment teachings and giving people advice when I'm still a downright newb? Isn't this just me pretending to others and even myself that I know and grasp more than I actually do?'

I live in SF in Hayes Valley just 3 blocks or so from SF Zen Center.

I really want to share this exercise, which is really more of an idea, that I’m going to start using in my life for building a strong positive drive. But first I want to eleborate first on who this will REALLY benefit: those of you, who like myself, feel stuck, trapped, afraid, like a victim, more numb to current life circumstances, etc. This is really for you guys because I know where you’re at. I just created this amazing life purpose right now in my life with then help of the life purpose course. However, me being REALLY stuck in victim beliefs and fears and in comfort, I’ve grown sooo accustomed to just quitting, giving up on every goal and pursuit the moment I start it, and even when I start my effort really isn’t there because I just don’t have my heart in it because I don’t really see that I can do “that”. Not ‘I know I can do that’ or ‘I know I’m physically capable to technically do that.’ NO. No as in, getting in your experience that it’s possible for YOU PERSONALLY. However, it’s hard to even get to that point of really getting that insight that it’s possible because we’ve been conditioned and numbed to the circumstances of “ordinary life”. I totally get it. I know what it’s like to get a great life purpose that moves you and then the next day you’re back in your shitty job you hate surrounded by pettiness and next thing you know your caught up in it all over again. What I realize now for me in turning my life around is just how critical it is to really feel in your bones just your bones and heart how much you want something. I don’t know about you but when looking back when I was an early teenager when I found my 2nd real passion which was for running, I was so productive in it in my drive that it was literally insane. I didn’t fear running hard that much (except before the gun). I didn’t fear or dread running my guts out on the pavement, trail, or on the track. I wanted to do it so much and wanted the goals and dreams of this thing so much. I notice for myself now that the biggest reason (or at least one of the biggest) I struggle with productivity and overcoming lower self. When I introspect into that I notice it’s because there’s that doubt that I can get what I want to get done accomplished and even follow through on it. Now, I’m actually not a fan of doing things like affirmations or just visualizing the end because for me and I know for a lot of people they actually recognize all they’re just lying to themselves and creating more falsehoods and illusions. I actually feel worse when I do them. So what I propose is creating, or I should say re-creating, that want again because if we can really want something from a positive place strong enough, then that to me is a great place and oportunity to really start a powerful snowball effect. So here’s the exercise... Grab a piece paper, your journal, or your commonplace book Before you even start writing, start to contemplate and just intuitively feel this desire to do the thing(s) that you know you need and more importantly, want to do. What is that? Is that to working on your life purpose? What about your enlightenment work and meditation? What is it for you? Write down what you want in detail. Not the goals per say. But the vision itself. Feel how much you actually want it. Be articulate, detailed, draw if you want and feel drawn to (no pun intended). Feel giddy again. Do this everyday and follow this up with the actions you need to take to realize this but bring the energy you get from this into it. The Key: Don't force or be mechanical in this process. Don’t try to force a vision that may not quite be there. Cultivate the burning desire that’s there, not pretend or lie about it. So if your firey passion for life is only as hot as some damp coals whose fire is almost non existent. That’s okay. Just see a little deeper and feel the heat that you can. The keys are self-honesty, action, integrity, and honest inspiration, and the trust that this will create a massive fucking snowball if you work it. Try this for 30-90 days everyday and let me know how this goes P.S. If journaling or writing is not your thing (which I totally get) and you do better and meditating on stuff like this or really feeling in your body or hear, do that instead. The point is not the writing. The point is that you build the want. Don’t just agree or disagree with this theory all because it it sounds good, right, bad, wrong, on par or not. DO IT. I’ll be doing it with you

He was talking about Peter Ralston

I want to break your post down a bit because I do relate to the confusion of feeling like you need to give up your current top passion for something like personal development or whatever. First... You don’t know that. Plenty of people out there have this same mindset, your level of skills or greater, and still get nowhere. Get this notion out of your head. You’re not special. There’s no reason you’re more destined for success than anyone else in your industry. Replace delusion with hard work. Master it as best you can and let the chips fall where they do. Success in your industry not only requires being super good at your craft but also a lot of luck. Self-actualization is not about using some miracle techniques to help you achieve things that to a degree are out of your control. See Leo’s 2 videos on “The Big Picture of Self-Actualization” and “Vision of Self-Actualization”. My advice in the end though is to be persistent with getting those connections and and getting better. Assuming this is what your most passionate about, you’ll be able to sleep at night if you failed miserably but gave everything to make it work. Work your ass off and let the chips fall where the may.

@Leo Gura I’ve been contemplating what you said @ 49:00 since this video came out. Is that possible simply just from decades of meditation and yoga? I’ve heard Ken Wilber talk about how he’s maintained awareness 24/7 even during sleep and that has me wanting to know how I can go about actually getting to that kinda level. However, the part about being conscious after the body dies really is a disorienting thing to think and meditate on right now.