kieranperez

Depends on where that motive is coming from. Some might want to become a sage and totally liberated from a place of a status and need to achieve and what not. Some might pursue it because they’re so stuck in victim thinking that they think that this spiritual thing will be their way to finally “escape”. Some really are willing to geninuinely and authentically surrender (VERY rare) in order to attain liberation.

When I noticed it didn't really answer any of my questions.

For those on here who are very spiritually motivated and deeply into the higher aspects of personal development that are still stuck on Life Purpose here’s a question I sugges you ask: If you got full and complete enlightenment where the infinite became your norm and you attained “the end” (I don’t suspect there would be such a thing but for the sake of this example let’s go with it) - what would you do to impact the world? Imagine you got all that which you have been seeking NOW - you didn’t have to go to a monastery, a cave in India, take 5-MeO-DMT, none of that, it just happened - how would you impact this world? Remember you wouldn’t need to seek anymore because it’s just you. That journey is over. There’s also no more desire to work on yourself. So unless you want to mahasamadhi your ass out of this existence or just live as a hermit, you’re probably going to want to do something (however it would be from a place of love, compassion, consciousness, and Truth). What is that which you do?

Can't believe I've never heard of this guy till now. Look this guy up. If enlightenment is your life purpose do research into this man. His level of attainment, discipline, impact, artistry, and diversity is quite extraordinary and inspiring. He died in the late 90s. Great book to start: Living with the Himalayan Masters

First things first: you’re not the first one to have this problem... AND THATS AMAZING BECAUSE YOU CAN GET OUT Here’s my advice... WARNING - You won’t like it: Be honest about your addiction with her. Now... before you do (if you do) let me explain why I’m giving this as my advice: I know many addicts. Fuck, the moment I walk out my door here in San Francisco I see people shooting up passed out literally everyday. Addicts have low integrity with themselves and other people. Honesty exposes you. There is nowhere to hide. It’s the beginning of you taking ownership and spilling out everything. It’s cathartic. The cathartic process is frightening, terrifying, depressing, soul wrenching, and uncertain because you don’t know what’s going to happen next. For instance: Am I going to get kicked out? Am I going to get sent away to rehab? If I go to rehab am I going to be that guy that just goes in and out and gets used to leaching off the system? Will this ruin my future? What if I tell the truth and still nothing changes? Ruthless honesty with yourself and others and making your #1 principle in life Truth is crucial. THAT is your saving grace. Not in the sense that you need to get enlightened or something. Truth is like a plunger that sucks up poison. Think of those things that are used if you get a mosquito bite and you have that suction cup device that sucks up the poison out of you. Think of that device as Truth and what your sucking up is deception, the devil, all the excuses, traumatic experiences, neurosis, etc. However, the only way to get that shit out of you is to actually use the device (Truth/REAL honesty) which most people don’t use. And here’s the real catch: You’ve got to be the doctor and the patient which is to say no one can do the real heavy lifting for you and you have to do it. Please, if you need help, GO GET IT. You’re not a bad or weak person for getting help but the real inner work is done by you and you alone. You got to have the initiative. No external source will ever be enough without your unwilling and unrelenting initiative and commitment to Truth. Much love man ❤️ Hold on to Truth. It’s a painful scary ride at times but hold on to it and be the passenger in the ride and let the Truth you wherever it needs to take you. Stay out of its way and you’ll make it through. Have faith.

Wrong question and where I think you’re going wrong. Follow this bliss as what you’re describing seems truly authentic. What it sounds like your getting stumped by that’s really blocking this deeply intuitive creative capacity that CAN create massive value in the long run is that you’re trying to take this round peg (this deeper intuitive drive you’re describing) and trying to fit in this round hole (your current area of expertise and domain/industry). This is where I got stumped a lot. I wanted to take this new insight on what I’m really excited about and fulfills me and try to take that into my current domain of expertise and then get frustrated because I don’t know how to make them fit... Which isn’t to say these two thing can’t fit! Sometime they do go together but sometimes they don’t. Be willing and open to your intuition and where this bliss can take you. And of course, take the life purpose course if you haven’t taken it yet.

@Joseph Maynor it’s a clear read and that’s precisely why it’s so hard - you’re likely to overlook it. What’s hard about it is how patient you have to be reading and contemplating something so plainly written. In Ralston's sequel to the Book of Not Knowing he wrote in the introduction about how well written it was and how, because of that, most people missed what he was saying (though people are going to miss what he’s talking about regardless of how he communicates these things).

Good God HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Too much theory not enough practice. I know what you're talking about man. Got sucked into this trap. Just put the books down for awhile (probably for a few months), turn off youtube and all other media and other online sources you've been studying non-duality from and get to work on the meditation, self-inquiry, yoga or whatever work works for you. Relax man. This is a work in progress. Go back to baseline. it's okay. If this takes longer, it takes longer. It's going to take as long as it needs to take. The books and theory are great. However, from experience it get's in your head and actually takes into the form of turning into new webs of belief. You can even get cocky thinking you "know" more than you actually do or even get depressed because deep down you know you're not doing what you really need to do and that can really take a hit on your integrity and self-esteem. Also, find maybe a local Zen center, Buddhist temple, Ashram or some sort of place in your area and talk with a teacher. That to me would be a much better use of external assistance than books and more theory because a teacher (don't even worry about their level of proficiency or attainment right now) is a tool that reinforces your practice and helps you keep that momentum going. Get back on track and don't sweat it

Surrender (EVERYTHING) Honesty (example: if you're angry, don't just communicate your anger, contemplate the core of your anger and let communicate that - do that with every emotion, feeling, action, everything) Strong determination sitting Sit through boredom and all suffering... and then keep sitting through more Isolation

BIIIIIG TIP: Do every exercise the moment they’re presented and don’t move forward till you “get it” experientially. Don’t rush through this book. I repeat... DON’T RUSH THROUGH THIS BOOK. This books is so clearly written I overlooked so much of what I read. Each time I reread it (which you will have to do) though I remember reading it before, I begun to notice how much I didn’t soak in. This book requires patience. Don’t read it like abnormal book. If you need to meditate for an hour or more on a single paragraph 2 pages in, do it. Be patient with this book. Your results in this book are directly proportional to how patient and deeply chew each chapter, paragraph, and sentence.

Is lack of self-acceptance and development of emotional well being with ones current knowledge of themselves (prior to awakening) an obstacle? I’ve been meditating much much more and I find I hit this crack where I eventually break down crying. I’ve decided to commit my life to this and am commiting to surrender more and more but I feel like this might be something I need to balance with a lot of self-acceptance and compassion and maybe shadow stuff? It’s the feeling of I’m not strong enough and how I’m letting people down and hurting people because I’m pursuing this thing that feels so self absorbed. Does FULL surrender require a certain type of strength of character and resolve that one might not currently be ready for and instead have to build up? Healthier, less neurotic ego.

I know even people like Ken Wilber, Doshin & Junpo Roshi from Integral Zen, Shunyamurti talk about this facet of Green & Postmodernists (particularly my generation: white American millennials) being really stuck in victim thinking. I know Jordan Peterson tends to talk about this (or I should say, talks down to them about this) but this really does seem prevalent particularly to me as an individual but also in my area collectively (San Francisco... which, if you know anything about here there's a lot of this here) particularly among my age group. I'd love to know what the relationship between all these things. I really feel like this feeling of "I just can't!" is such a hard thing to overcome once you/I get stuck in it because it becomes self-perpetuating. For me I notice it working as putting off things more and more and more and more and more and more, not making decisions, quitting and giving up, and the reversal of this process really can feel like the most debilitating uphill battle just to even make a decision, not even take action, but to merely decide on something. For me personally the thing that I feel mostly a victim to is my mind. Not even so much outer circumstance as much as my mind that I feel a victim to.

Over the last few years I’ve noticed my wants and desires both increasing and also diminishing. The goals, the ambitions, all of these are truly at a point where they’ve almost collapsed but also are crazier than ever. I go through each day asking myself “what do I want?” What do I want? What do I want to do with my life? What do I want to do with my day? What do I want to do? What impact do I want to have in this world? What do I really want? I come up with different answers all the time. I feel pissed off to the point of rage at myself and my circumstances that I’ve created which leads to a deeper feeling of being stuck. Until now I realized this game. No matter what I want, what vision I create that just so happens to keep changing day to day where I then feel like “no that’s not it”... It’ll never be enough. The wanting (wanting something to do, wanting to be special, wanting to create something special, whatever it is) will never stop. The only time I truly fe authentic truly challenged is when I’m doing consciousness work. Not because I’m working towards enlightenment. At the same of the day, I don’t know what enlightenment is. Sure I have conceptions and theories but none of those things at the end of the day really mean anything so long as I don’t know what that concept is actually talking about experientially. The reason I have this relationship with consciousness work is really for one reason: I’m working towards what’s real. It’s literally the process of saying ‘I’m not running away from this anymore.’ It’s hard because I fucking suck at this. I have no concentration at all especially now that I just got off 17 years of being prescribed adderall, struggle sitting still, I shake, am screaming in my head, I can’t breathe properly or relax my breathing, my vision starts to shake like crazy, can’t stop swallowing spit, etc. The only thing I know is that this isn’t going to end. This whole “what if I did ___” game isn’t going stop. I feel like in need to surrender but tbh I don’t know what that means on a practical level. I don’t even want to date anymore. I have no desire for this stuff anymore. Every time I get these desires I just start to really see through them when I slow down and ask ‘is that really what I want?’ Then I see the hollowness in all of these wants, cravings, etc. It’s just me looking to escape suffering which is causing more suffering. At the core I don’t want to be anything. I guess it’s more of a desire to be true. Real. Nothing.

This actually put me to tears just 10 minutes in. It’s only 30 minutes and really captured a lot of inspiration and wisdom from a life that was lived with a dedication and embodiment to unconditional love after learning what real love is through his guru. I really recommend this because it just depicts this flavor of the end of the hero’s journey on his final few years, months, days, etc.

MLM meaning “multilevel marketer” Seems pretty obvious at this point.

Yes. In the long run. Granted, I’m 23 but I have 10 years of therapy under my belt and what you said there is exactly why I stopped seeing psychotherapists. A big fundamental problem, which I still have pretty bad, is trying to get someone else to tell you what to do. Fundamentally, the life purpose course is about constructing your purpose in life. There is no ethereal thing. I don’t say that talking down. I say that because I still struggle with this trap myself. It’s hard when you’re struggling to create a motivating life purpose that has impact because you’re so stuck in misery and stuck in your own maiya. It’s emotionally laborious to create that. The key to that though is applying the emotional labor to love and lighten up on yourself. Often times, at least for me, we view emotional labor as this emotionally distrustful thing that we have to dig deep, grit our teeth and force out of yourselves or force ourselves to find something. I recommend for you but take this principle to heart going into it, through it, and after it: Grounded Love, Hope, Optimism, Faith, and Courage. Ultimately no one can tell you how to live your life nor how you should want to live your life... Nor do I advise you to seek that!

Back at you ?

@fabriciom nobody cares about your little opinions. If people on here are blatantly telling you that they have glimpsed the Absolute and al you have to say “I KNOW IT DOESNT WORK BECAUSE IVE DONE DRUGS” and whatever other idealogical story you wish to share with others, you’re just showing off your crown of ignorance and closed mindedness. Your clinging to ‘I have to do it the tried and tried and true way’ is clinging to ideology and pure dogma. You’re right there is no manual for this thing called life. Which is why for MOST people enlightenment through meditation and such practices isn’t enough. Most people who meditate hard and deeply DON’T reach enlightenment, god, etc. Meditation is a technology. Yoga is a technology. Psychedelics is a technology. There is no manual for this thing called life which means all your claims on “this isn’t the right way” are all groundless.

?

Title pretty much says it all but I’ll elaborate a little bit. Ive been going over the life purpose course a few more time, have come up with so many different visions and keep thinking of all these possibilities that seem kinda cool and exciting but really what I’ve noticed inside me now is that, in reality all the things I’ve been passionate about just seem hollow now. As I’m doing enlightenment work, meditating, etc. and even before the enlightenment work altogether I’ve noticed just how much my passions are dying and now I’m confused on what to do with my life regarding the direction I take it. Every time I really sit down with a vision I start to feel deep down I get this sense of ‘this isn’t what I really want. Then another vision comes up, same response. Every time I sit alone in nature I just have this feeling of wanting to be absolutely nothing... in yet at the same time I do want to contribute in a massive way but I don’t want to be just some other Swami or Zen Priest or something. Its this weird combination of all personal drive for success pretty much being completely diminished and at the same time a quiet and more subtle drive to be nothing. It’s hard because I grew up pretty well off in a sense here in the SF Bay Area. I have a lot of friends who’ve become really successful (one of my high school friends that went to a neighboring high school was #1 pick in the NFL draft) but now I look at them and I see all their problems, how they’re absorbed in hedonism, chasing success, or for my other old friends who are just an unhealthy Stage Green set of people and I’m so turned off by it all I just want to stop playing this charade and the game of life thinking that this will ever fulfill me. I’ve been turned off from my sport even (running) and I never thought I’d say that. That was like the one passion I thought would stay with me but over the years it’s been waning, the drive for arbitrary success seems more and more pointless. I don’t even want to date anymore. Been single for 2+ years now and I really don’t want it. I don’t ever have a day where I feel like even having sex anymore. Sure I still fap every now and then but it’s more of an occasional habit than anything. I seriously sit down every day thinking “I got to make a decision about where I go from here. I keep putting this off. What do I actually want to work towards?” In yet nothing comes up and I never can seem to make a committed decision because I really don’t know. I keep questioning for hours everyday and I feel like I need to give or have an answer because I don’t want to stay a sheep but I don’t know. I’ve never had this before. Sports has always been a great motivator to have goals. I used to have career goals, school goals, but all this ambition is starting to die. Thoughts? Advice? I feel like I can’t decide because I don’t know at all what I want (to contribute or master).

Are you going to copy everything Ralston says word for word? LOL damn dude

@TylerJ I don’t see at all how he’s “transitioning people to green”. An orange person doesn’t perform orange acts to turn people into Green people who see through his get rich quick schemes and his crazy internet marketing campaigns out of some act of higher conscious systems thinking sort of thing. Much less altruism. Orange people manipulate orange systems. Welcome to modern gross capitalism.

@Joseph Maynor you can still be enlightened af and still have an unhealthy ego structure meanwhile you don’t identify with it.