kieranperez

@Consilience thanks man @outlandish thanks brotha. Certainly not easy. @Shaun I haven’t done mushrooms. This was my 2nd ever psychedelic trip. @Inliytened1 I very much agree with what you’re saying. The coming back down is the hardest part, at least for me personally. I actually had a thought as I was coming back down of a Zen master giving a quintessential wink and I really understood why they do that. It’s to give the subtle message of ‘keep your head on straight kiddo. We got work to do. The test is how we take this into the world. We got to really be staying on top of our own house here if we’re going to act in the world at all.’ One of the things that humbles me personally is the responsibility such awakenings come with. Truly integrated awakenings are so humbling because you realize just what you really signed up for by coming into being. I mean your Burger King example is totally on par. I’m 24, terrible low self-esteem, don’t have my finances together at all, very low in my own development in so many areas, I’m working in a summer pest control gig, etc. In a sense these realizations are both inspiring yet also demoralizing because I come back and realize the utter fucking magnitude of what I truly want and it literally feels impossible. I remember Leo’s interview with Ralston on YouTube where Ralston was saying ‘people often don’t believe that they themselves can do it. They have in the abstract that it can be done yet it’s not really real for them.’ Though he was talking about enlightenment I find that to be a perfect description of where I’m at with myself. I feel I’ve really been on this downwards slope (though now I’m “trying” to claw my way out) and now I’m realizing a whole new path that demands more responsibility than ever before. I’m not trying to be a downer but I just want to be honest about where I feel I’m at within myself. @Barna no problem man. @tsuki thanks man @DrewNows thanks brother. @Jed Vassallo thanks man. I do appreciate that. @Leo Gura the following videos have helped me the most to really solidify this vision for myself (in no particular order): The Highest Hero’s Journey What is the Point of Life? Becoming God The 10 Ox Herding Pictures Life is a Maze Enlightenment Live Becoming a Sage The Gallery of Absolute Infinity The hardest part about these realizations isn’t even my circumstances. It’s fear. Deep. Fear. The fear that I can’t. In yet it’s that feeling of “I can’t” that sparks the very emotional pain I feel when I entertain the possibility that I won’t ever really embrace who I ultimately am. That’s fundamentally what that pain is. The denial of who and what we ALL ultimately are, who I ultimately am. As I’m sure many people have felt, coming back down from these trips are painful precisely because I am faced with how much of selfish, undeveloped, cowardly person I live my life as. Not having really cultivated my own lower base needs really make this feel like an overwhelmingly impossible task. Especially when I struggle to even sit in meditation for even 30 minutes for a variety of reasons that ultimately amount to just more excuses. In yet... it is the thing I want. It is my life purpose. After reasonably integrating the last couple days I finally have my life purpose statement, which scares the shit out of me: Inspire, elevate, and awaken mankind towards God. I have no fucking clue how I’m going to do this. The only thing I think I can do when it comes to this though is like that of all sages... Surrender. Surrender to one’s path. My path. However much longer it may be. Ironically, it’s not even the vision I thought I was ever after. What my ego was after. It’s counter to what my life has always reflected in terms of my desires and even semi deep “Zone of Excellence Passions”. This is what I as a God (not that I’m conscious of that truth now) want. Its something I feel like I can’t ignore anymore. Refusal of this call is why I suffer. @llumi thanks @moon777light no. I notice LSD really amplifies it. Not in the way you might think. It amplifies the way my mind’s normal way of cognition.

@Leo Gura did he really make that his life purpose? That’s awesome

I’m not playing word games. There’s no undisclosed “warrant”. Whatever happens in the world is a manifestation of God’s Love. Understanding that though, counterintuitively requires the realization that you, I, and all of us (since all perspectives fundamentally collapse into the One perspective) need to take responsibility by becoming conscious of our collective creation. Why? Because you Love. You Love your creation whether you realize it or not. This isn’t some moral agenda. Whether you take this on or not is up to you and no matter what you do, all that ever happens is God’s Will for the Love of his, my, her, it’s, and our creation since all of that is the same. You’re taking for granted government. No real environmental, economic, medical, global change can truly be made without the integration of consciousness with government/politics. Massive non-profit organizations are not going to cut it. What you seem to be missing is that government is important precisely because you as an individual matters. The COSMIC universal individual that is You which includes everybody and everything else. Government can be a truly powerful invention that elevates mankind if utilized responsibily and consciously. Granted, we’re a LONG ways from that being the case but it’s our role to help try and make that change. You’re critiques of government are coming from a place of not realizing that you literally created that whole thing and brought it into being. Understanding that would actually spark a drive to want to elevate government so that it becomes a tool that benefits that entire Whole since the entire Whole is yourself and you Love yourself.

Everything that has ever happened in the world is an expression of God’s Love for the present creation. Anything that comes into being fundamentally comes from Love. The only reason you can even rant against government without being killed and slaughtered like you would 1000 years ago for ranting against the state is becaue the current creation of God that is modern government gives you that luxury.

Would any of you guys say an ideal psychedelic for questions along this line? What substance tends to work best for you with asking and answering deep personal questions like this?

You’re the one interpreting it that way.

I still find Joe Rogan as a person quote refreshing, seeing how he’s able take and listen to so many perspectives and is pretty genuinely curious. I think it’s refreshing to have in modern culture and in popular media. He has his hiccups sure but his show isn’t about Truth or wisdom or anything not really his role nor what his show is about. Nor does it have to be nor should it be. I think Joe Rogan is a great person that I think people who are into pop culture could really learn something from. You also need to see that in the clip from 2:37 onward on his assessment of the monk, he’s actually looking at that from an altitude of Yellow. He’s looking at the monk as a perspective and regards it as such. Rogan loves perspectives. That his whole schtick. You need to notice how he’s making this analysis. I wouldn’t call Rogan Orange. As far as I’m concerned he’s a mature Green/Yellow. Rogan is interested in psychedelics, can sit with fucking Ben Shapiro and then talk with Graham Hancock to Sam Harris to a chef to an ultra endurance athlete to goddamn Alex Jones and hunts for the sake of not going with the disgusting way we treat animals through the way we farm and taking responsibility on that front. You need to digstinguish between the stage of development of certain perspectives and ideas he may see legitimacy and truth in and the man himself.

I've had a really hard time consoling myself with this reality. When I'm really in touch with my higher self, even on just a personality level, and I'm actually contemplating in one fashion or another and I have a profound insight even on just a relative level, I feel high. When I was really opening myself up and was contemplating light and realized I don't see light, I only see what stops light I was so happy I can't even explain it. That's one of the biggest excitements I have with consciousness work and when I read about people like da Vinci or go over Ralston's work. I miss learning. REALLY learning. However, I'm 24 with terrible self-esteem and I'm doing this summer sales gig of door-door sales just to earn enough money to move out. I feel like I'm selling my soul and even after this and even being clear on what I want, the reality of what my heart wants so FAR exceeds what I'm capacity to realistically pursue it because I feel so beaten down by my own years of detioriating self-esteem. I know there's no easy answer to this. I just feel so weak mentally. I'm going to use this exaggerated example... Imagine you really wanted to become a world champion body builder. Let's say you have the body and genes for it maybe. However, by the time you realize this vision you're out of shape and you're also in your late 20s. Most importantly, as a result of having gotten out of shape, your self-esteem is so low that your internal capacity to really honestly pursue this vision you know your heart wants is just out of reach. You've broken integrity for long and now your body is so full of shit that this goal feels impossible and although your heart wants it, it's so demoralizing because it feels like you're a newb mountaineer looking up and failing to climb Mt. Everest at 60 years old. That honestly feels like that with me with learning, life purpose, enlightenment to the degree I want to pursue it when it comes to my life circumstances, my cognitive condition with ADHD, and my self-esteem. Mainly the self-esteem and circumstances though. It's this inner frustration, apathy, and inner & outer resentment of like "I FUCKED UP MAN! NOW I HAVE TO CLEAN UP THIS WHOLE FUCKING THING I'M BARELY MENTALLY OF FIXING WHILE KEEPING IT TOGETHER MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY!" The reality of having to deal with life circumstances that I caused in one way or another, that it's my fault, and the fact that I now feel so fragile with a very weak ego structure that I feel hopeless and demoralized and I get stuck in victim mindset (and getting upset with myself that I am being a victim).

But didn’t you already shoot 2 massive long videos on What is God and all the questions that went with that?

You keep referencing The Bible on this thread which is about a man (who never historically existed) who was unconditionally loving... in yet you're being the very devil Jesus warns you by saying the above "There's nothing wrong with being hateful or angry". Stop assuming most people have their shit together. Since when are the herd of sleeping sheep the one's worth listening to? The common masses are the one's who nailed Christ to a damn cross. Which goes into the point where virtually no-one just loves everything... That's right. High quality conscious human beings who truly know God and have the capacity to see and understand the world as it is (which is pure Love absent of the delusion of evil) are rare. Hence why Christians and the evolution of Christianity (aside from the rare enlightened mystics) became the very thing Christ warned those NOT to turn into. Hence why all your years of Bible study have gotten you nowhere. Drop this.

@Mezanti 1000% agree.

Yes & yes Yeah and Jesus was nailed to a cross for saying he was God and told Truth to power. How did that enlightenment thing work out? Truth is threatening. It rubs people the wrong way. That said, that doesn’t mean you need to go blabbing all this to people. Don’t confuse that. Also, until you get in your experience that God is you, it will be a lie. You’re going to be breaking integrity because honesty is being telling and living the truth of what is your genuine experience and reporting that condition as accurately as you can. If you’re not aware, it doesn’t do you any good. It actually hurts you.

Feel free to update the booklist

There has got to be a siddhi where I can watch Actualized.org videos before they come out

@Leo Gura God wanted you to enjoy your trip

That didn’t make any coherent sense as far as I’m concerned but alright I’ll watch the video ?

@Serotoninluv @CreamCat your points on AI and UBI really struck me. I’m not up to date on AI progress and not am I informed at all on the developments, implications, and full details behind UBI. I will say, whenever I think about the future of AI I get the chills. Especially when you consider how we can so naively put ourselves in a position of being obselete really is crazy. Keeps me up at night sometimes. I don’t know, it does feel like spooky times. That probably because I haven’t fully tasted (much less integrated) the ultimate perfection of everything. But yeah.. it does feel spooky to me. Our world is becoming so interconnected so much faster than we as a species are developing or are prepared for. Which just raises the question... how? It’s like we have issues as a global society that includes all beings (all of the planet - I would say cosmos but let’s keep this within the ballpark) that demands 2nd Tier development and solutions in yet we’re still toddlers at Blue and Orange and it’s being mostly directed by Orange people (in terms of the development of those in power and also causing this issues). Personally I literally have this inner alarm sometimes where it’s like “can we take a fucking T.O. and get a fucking game plan already?” Of course... life doesn’t work that way. The Tier 1 people can’t really see the problems at the altitude required in order to really effectively solve them. Think about that... a universal basic income + AI that makes us not only obsolete but we become dependent on even more so than we are now... I mean. I already can’t stand my phone addiction lol. I don’t know, I feel like I’m just waiting for a hurricane that’s about to wreck a massive amount of havoc we’re (and as far as my far I’m more referring to myself) not prepared for.

Man... never thought about that in this light... What a massive insight

Just from what you see in your own area, despite the potential extreme end of the Blue rednecks there that are still riding Trump for his indulgence in racism and hate speech and what not, do you think (outside of what I just described) that a lot of them feel hurt or betrayed by him? I mean, obviously they’re hurt because of him. What I’m asking though is, do you feel or see that they recognize and admit that? Just curious what it’s like there since I live in San Francisco so it’s hard for me to really soak into the “true American Stage Blue” perspective other than just the erroneous and obvious example we see on the news and social media.

@RichardY you’re interpreting a metaphor literally. More so, you’re interpretting a metaphor from someone who lived thousands of years ago in a completely different context and stage of cognitive development as a culture literally. There is no evil. Morality is a human invention that became part of our development. With that said, that doesn’t imply that all because there is no evil we can’t construct social contracts to maintain a more “civilized” society.

I think this is probably the most horseshit thing I’ve ever read. *shits pants laughing*

@Leo Gura so you’re literally saying that the more genuine and truly fundamentally authentic an intention is when one “prays”, the more powerful it is? Making it more “powerful” is one’s genuine conscious understanding and connection with their own “Godhood”?

@Inliytened1 reference to life purpose course.

I’m definitely half in “End Phase” and “Limbo”

@Leo Gura that such a good description of what my LSD come down felt like. Though I imagine it’s more radically so with 5-MeOvand more drawn out. Coming down from a realization from God slowly felt like this drawn out torture as my Self came back in of just how much I taint and ruin my own bliss, truth, love, and General happiness. I think it was necessary for sure and good to see that but man is it painful. This was what really hit home on the importance of self-esteem and acceptance.